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Post by Laurasia on Sept 9, 2010 13:16:02 GMT -5
LOL! I know what you mean Luna. I was being very deliberately obnoxious that day though, even though I had no idea why I was so very irritated. I think that had she tried being nicey-nice with me I probably would have still acted that way....I just wouldn't have had someone to verbally argue my points with.  Sincerely, Laurasia |
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Post by euskanoravian on Sept 9, 2010 13:26:46 GMT -5
I am naturally a hothead, and always have been. I had many days like that, believe me. In kindergarten and grade 1, if I had a temper tantrum the first thing I would do is find a book and throw it on the floor. Isn't that funny?
Blessed Be,
Andi
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Post by msmir on Sept 9, 2010 23:29:37 GMT -5
Oh gosh yeah it is SO true that teachers just blame the kids for their behavior... maybe if they actually took the time to sit them down and ask them why they are upset... and gain the kids' trust by actually listening.. the kid could actually be receptive and settle down. Laurasia you may not been able to know the answer consciously if you had an understanding teacher, but maybe something within you would have settled down, and you may have calmed down.. because kids ARE receptive to understanding teachers and parents, etc. And besides that was I think ridiculous that they took kids at your grade level to that kind of museum.. just too young to know OH BY THE WAY.. I forgot to tell you, my 8 year old daughter, who again was my mom in my last life KNOW who Hitler was!! I was floored.. she saw his picture and looked at me with a kind of grin that you have when you know you really *shouldn't* know about something sorta like... "oh I know something that I know I should not talk about".. so I asked her with a lot of suspicion why she was looking at me like that, especially since she was looking at the picture of the Fuhrer!! She whispered to me "that was Hitler and he was evil".. I FLIPPED! And the funny thing is, she does not seem at ALL upset in fact.. for some weird reason she thought something about it was funny?  I mean that is just too weird.. I NEVER educated anything about Hitler to her.. in fact I have been trying to shelter things having to do with it from her.. she STILL managed to find out about him... uggh little bugger! She must be starting to get hints from her past life.. but for all I know she could have been doing her plays (which she does privately by the way and if I go into her way when she is in the middle of doing one she basically shoos me away LOL.... but its okay I respect her privacy as I know I hated my parents snooping into my business when I was younger, but.. not as young as her now) and Laurasia I remember you said aspects of her past life could be coming into her plays... so I also know she has come into the room when I play those Hitler Downfall parodies and since she is SOOOO receptive... and intuitive herself, who knows what she could have "added up"... but none of whatever she may have discovered.. which I am not sure if she fully has but the subconscious is coming out in other ways, like her creative outlets.. has disturbed her in anyway... hmmm she is starting to in her own way "remember" some things about it.. I think  |
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Post by sweetlunapie on Sept 10, 2010 5:56:56 GMT -5
Laurasia, you think you would have stayed that way? Haha, you're probably right, actually. But, I maintain that the teacher was being a complete tit. |
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Post by Laurasia on Sept 17, 2010 19:02:22 GMT -5
Hi Miriam.
Like I said, I wouldn't be surprised if she has recollections coming through already. However, I also wouldn't be so surprised by the fact that she has some idea of who Adolf Hitler was. She may only be 8 years old, but I don't think that it's very unlikely that an 8 year old would know who he is...at least in a rudimentary way. As you know, my school took us to that Holocaust museum when I was 10 years old. Kids learn about all of that kind of stuff much earlier nowadays, as they do with most other things too. If she were being homeschooled, then yeah I'd be a bit more surprised. But since she isn't, & she does socialize with friends outside of the house, I'm not really surprised that she recognizes Hitler's picture.
Sincerely,
Laurasia
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Post by msmir on Sept 17, 2010 21:30:32 GMT -5
Laurasia I am so happy to see you again and I got your email  Will get to that in a bit! Yep, she actually loves watching videos that mock the Fuhrer which I find interesting. She actually loves "The Three Stooges" and there were many shows they had that mocked the Fuhrer... whenever a video of "The Three Stooges" comes up, that mocks Hitler in anyway.. she gets excited. I feel she is getting it.. but I think her guides are trying to protect her from the really horrific stuff at this point which I am glad.. besides humor is healing.. she will remember, with her extreme Piscean energy she will definitely remember events very well at the right time.. maybe right now she is only remembering bits and pieces just about how evil Hitler and is protected by finding humorous stuff to watch about him.. so when she starts to remember it is less of a shock to her.. but will be still quite disturbing. Again humor is healing and that is one of the reasons I love anything that mocks Hitler too. |
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Post by Miss Bothmann on Sept 25, 2010 14:00:33 GMT -5
miriam, That must have been quite a shock for you when she realized who Hitler was! Unfortunately, like Laurasia said, evn though you try to shield your loved ones from the evils of life, society always finds a way to shove it in their faces. Obviously you knew that she would find out about him someday. The best thing you can do for her is to be there for her when she begins to experience the more negative recollections. She has a very loving and caring person for a mom who I believe is the best person to see her through it. I know that you feel extreme anxiety over the day that she has her first negative memory, but you are strong and will pull through it just fine. *hugs* |
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Post by msmir on Sept 26, 2010 0:08:11 GMT -5
Miss Bothmann, it happened yesterday somewhat anyway when I took her to see the movie, "Toy Story 3", yes that kids movie!!! I wrote a post about it just now in fact in this area! She is starting to know Thanks so much for your encouragement!! Means tonnes! Hope you are feeling better too!! |
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Post by Laurasia on Oct 9, 2010 12:42:50 GMT -5
"Why Thoughts"
Warning! May be disturbing to some!
(Many of my "recollections" of Hans come through as Hans' thoughts filling my mind as I am relaxed & listening to music. That was the case with these thoughts...)
I miss Anna so much! Could she ever still love me if she knew the "me" that lives this daily life? Which is the real me? If this is the real me would she still care? Could she? Could anyone?
Why? Why do we have to do all of this? Why is there so many of them? Why can't we just finish & get on with our lives? How do they keep coming?! Why can't we finish them in one fell swoop & get back to real life?! It's as though they conspire to keep us apart, the filthy pigs! While I'm here there is no life...simply a machine that needs to run smoothly & efficiently so I can live again. If anything slows the heartbeat of our machine it is keeping me away from the real world & Anna, therefore it must be eliminated & cleared away quickly. Only then will the world be safe for Anna & myself. The filth must be cleansed so that Anna herself is not sullied. It must be.
Sincerely,
Laurasia
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Post by msmir on Oct 9, 2010 16:04:59 GMT -5
I can understand Hans' thoughts on this for sure.. I am sure there were others in the same position feeling the same way How horrible. |
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Post by privatetucker on Oct 9, 2010 18:12:45 GMT -5
Oh wow, what an awful internal conflict...and to live with that everyday...that's so awful. D8
Although I must say it actually helps reading that (though it's horrible you have to re-live it) because I never really understood any sort of thought process for someone in that position, so reading both what you and Lulz have to say make it a bit easier to grasp.
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Post by sweetlunapie on Oct 9, 2010 21:57:22 GMT -5
Those are some heavy thoughts... I feel so bad that you guys couldn't be together after the war... I only know you guys on this forum, but I think you two are so cute together now! That is great to know that you two found each other. |
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Post by Laurasia on Oct 10, 2010 13:18:45 GMT -5
I am glad to hear that sharing Hans' internal torments is helpful to others. At least that gives me a viable reason to have to sift through them again now.  And there are PLENTY more where these came from to be sure. And oh yes, Luna, Miss Bothmann & I seem to always find each other. ;D Sincerely, Laurasia |
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Post by euskanoravian on Oct 10, 2010 13:47:48 GMT -5
Laurasia, I may not have been around while the worst of it was happening. Not incarnated anyway. Nonetheless, I can easily see why Hans would have been feeling that way.
Blessed Be,
Andi
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Post by Laurasia on Oct 13, 2010 11:51:10 GMT -5
Hans' Death
Warning! May be disturbing to some members!
(This recollection started emerging while I was listening to Godhead's "Tired Old Man". The recollection kept "sticking", so I decided to put the song on repeat to see what would happen. By the end of the recollection Miss Bothmann had to come & pull me out of it because I was sobbing & choking so hard.)
I am being held in a building against my will, but it is not a prison in the sense that there are bars. There are simply rooms with locked doors & guards. Everyday I am taken to a small, dimly lit room with two British men. One is dark-haired with a white shirt & the other has dark blonde hair & a tan or beige shirt. The dark-haired one is the more aggressive of the two.
I have been here for some time. I know that they know that I am a Nazi & I try to tell them very little. I know that we have lost the war though & I have not heard from Anna. I finally tell them my name one day, figuring that since we had destroyed Chelmno I would be relatively safe, & ask them to find word about my fiance Anna. I tell them that I would talk more if they brought me news of her.
Up until this point they had been trying to intimidate or shock me into speaking by informing me of "the horrors" being discovered in the liberated camps. I, however, stayed numb & that tactic was not working for them.
When I made my demand of hearing about Anna they became angry & sent me to be put back in my room. All that I could think of was how Anna's faith, love, & pride in me had helped me to endure so many years of hell. And how it would do the same now.
The recollection flashed to a time in the future when I was in the interrogation room with the same two men. They looked very smug. They began questioning me & I remained silent. This continued until I again stated that I would not speak until I had heard about Anna. This was what they had been waiting for.
The dark one smiled evilly saying "You may as well talk....'Ivan' took care of your girlfriend," then they laughed. My blood ran cold & then I felt as though I were on fire. I said that I did not believe them, so they pulled out pictures of Berlin's rubble & dead civilians...focusing my attention towards the women especially. Many had clearly been sexually assaulted.
"So...Are any of these Anna?" they asked mockingly. "Anyway, 'Ivan' made sure to f*ck & then kill every Nazi sow when they took Berlin. So if she was there I'm sure that we'll have a photo for you soon enough." I screamed. My brain felt as though it had turned to stone & was now expanding inside of my skull. My stomach twisted & wretched. My heart & lungs all seized up to nearly bursting. The lifelong numbness left & I was filled with rage & anguish. I just screamed & screamed until I threw up. I choked as I vomited & then continued sobbing violently.
They ordered me taken back to my room. The guards had to virtually carry me as I just let myself be drug & sobbed.
I was locked in my room - which had a bed, chair, & table. My Anna was gone. Our baby was gone. I sobbed for a whiile on my bed. My room had open, wooden beams at the ceiling so I climbed up there using the chair & table. I had removed my belt & made a wide open circle with it which I put around my neck. I tightened up the slack & attached the slack to a beam. I then stepped off of the desk.
My neck didn't break however. So I hung there strangling & kicking violently as the leather belt & metal buckle dug deeply into my neck & lower jaw. My eyes felt as though they were going to pop out & my head was filled with an immense, hot pressure. I tried to pull the belt away from my throat with my fingernails in order to catch a breath but was unable to. I tried using my arms to lift my weight off of the self-made noose but wasn't strong enough. I could feel my energy & consciousness fading fast, so I tried to simply think of Anna.
Sincerely,
Laurasia
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I mean that is just too weird.. I NEVER educated anything about Hitler to her.. in fact I have been trying to shelter things having to do with it from her.. she STILL managed to find out about him... uggh little bugger! She must be starting to get hints from her past life.. but for all I know she could have been doing her plays (which she does privately by the way and if I go into her way when she is in the middle of doing one she basically shoos me away LOL.... but its okay I respect her privacy as I know I hated my parents snooping into my business when I was younger, but.. not as young as her now) and Laurasia I remember you said aspects of her past life could be coming into her plays... so I also know she has come into the room when I play those Hitler Downfall parodies and since she is SOOOO receptive... and intuitive herself, who knows what she could have "added up"... but none of whatever she may have discovered.. which I am not sure if she fully has but the subconscious is coming out in other ways, like her creative outlets.. has disturbed her in anyway... hmmm she is starting to in her own way "remember" some things about it.. I think 
Will get to that in a bit! Yep, she actually loves watching videos that mock the Fuhrer which I find interesting. She actually loves "The Three Stooges" and there were many shows they had that mocked the Fuhrer... whenever a video of "The Three Stooges" comes up, that mocks Hitler in anyway.. she gets excited. I feel she is getting it.. but I think her guides are trying to protect her from the really horrific stuff at this point which I am glad.. besides humor is healing.. she will remember, with her extreme Piscean energy she will definitely remember events very well at the right time.. maybe right now she is only remembering bits and pieces just about how evil Hitler and is protected by finding humorous stuff to watch about him.. so when she starts to remember it is less of a shock to her.. but will be still quite disturbing. Again humor is healing and that is one of the reasons I love anything that mocks Hitler too. 
And there are PLENTY more where these came from to be sure.