Memories of Hans Bothmann, Commandant of Chelmno

[msmir]

Having a memory from Hans at that age must be so hard, considering he was so innocent back then. And the absence of his dad is something that he still has not really overcome, likely

[Storm]

Sending much love to you, Laurasia. Good luck getting more info and well done for bravely posting on this. I have so much I cannot quite bring myself to go into here, yet. Much love and respect. x

[Laurasia]

Thank you for your kind words MsMir & SS3.

Hans' father being absent did have a huge impact on him throughout his life. I think that it made him much more egaer to accept the male role models that were eventually offered to him when he was sent to the boys' institute.

I can understand your hesitation with posting your recollections SS3. Just know that, when you feel ready to share we will be here to listen.

Sincerely,
Laurasia

[Laurasia]

Re-Current Past Life Related Dream

(This is a transcript of a recurrent dream from my early childhood which I later discovered features Hans' SS number (117630) heavily.)

I'm trapped in a completely darkened room. In fear, I blindly grope the walls as I burst into tears. My hands move over cold, metallic walls with strange indentations as though there should be doors, yet no doors or windows are present.

Once I make a complete revolution around the room my hands hit upon a small metallic object jutting out from the wall. I run my hands over it causing the center to spin. A combination lock! But how had it gotten there? The room suddenly reverberates with the menacing roar of some unknown creature on the other side of the walls. Without warning the room fills with a murky teal-colored light.

I find myself in a circular room with strangely ornate paneling built into the walls that resembles the interior of a UFO. A doorway was nowhere to be seen. The walls begin to quake with pounding as the roaring resumes. A monotone voice suddenly fills my head, "Recall the code to preserve your life & gain freedom."

"The code"? What code?! The bellowing of the beast intensifies along with its' physical assault on the outer walls. They start to buckle under the tremendous force & a random series of numbers starts to echo through my frenzied mind....

"117630, 117630, 117630...."

Without thinking I wildly spin the dial of the lock this way & that to each number. The creature deafeningly breaks down the opposite wall just as I despairingly yank the lock open & cast myself into the blinding white light beyond the door.

Sincerely,
Laurasia

[Miss Bothmann]

The code dream always freaked me out, even when you first told it to me. At least now, we know that it has significance.

[Laurasia]

Hans' Handwriting Analysis

(Since I have historical documents written by Hans I thought that it would be interesting to do a handwriting analysis for him, along with my thoughts on the findings.)

1 ) His writing is sloppy - He has a tricky & complicated mind. (I definitely agree with that. He exemplified his Scorpionic nature after all.)

2 ) He deviates from schoolbook models - He wants to be himself & may resist anything or anyone who tries to make him conform to a standard that he cannot swallow. (Since he was raised by the Party, & saw himself as, a "model Nazi" I can agree with this finding.)

3 ) His senctences flow clearly - Common sense & experience are very important to him when decision-making. He thinks carefully & comes to conclusions only after much thought. He likes ideas & obkects to be neat & orderly. (I can agree with this.)

4 ) The speed & flow is alive & active - His personality is quite varied & exciting because his emotional responses are accompanied by intellectual curiosity. (I can agree with this, though he had few outward "emotional responses" to things.)

5 ) His words are tightly spaced - He does not need much elbow room or approval from others. Not afraid of being himself in social situations. Even people who don't like something that he does admire the spirit in which he does it. Those he likes rarely doubt his feelings. (This one is a bit tricky for me. It is true that Hans didn't need a ton of physical space - his apartment proves that. In regards to being afraid to be himself in social situations....he wasn't afraid of being who he thought he was supposed to be, & who he was supposed to be was often complicatedly enmeshed with who he really was for him.)

6 ) His writing is angular - Points to decisiveness & purposeful goal-making. More intellectual or factual than emotional or dreamy. He puts together ideas that others think are unrelated. He's good at planning & organizing & putting all pieces together to create the whole; able to see & understand all elements of a situation. He learns very well. However, an abundance of strong angles reveal rigidity & inflexibility. (All of this echoes Hans quite well. It is these qualities that made him so successful as a detective & camp Commandant. However, the drawbacks of being too angular - as Hans' writing is - are also present for him.)

7 ) His upper-zone is Twig-like - Reveals an expansive thinker with little room for options. (Raised in an authoritarian, narrow-minded household perhaps?) He insists on a strict code of behavior for himself & others. Likes to learn, but only in structured settings. If he can't find the tradition or usefulness of something, he's not likely to find much value in it. (This may be the one point that echoes Hans the best. And the suggested reference to possibly being raised in a authoritative, narow-minded setting couldn't be more accurate.)

8 ) His lower-zone is slightly inflated - When he wants something he will do everything in his power to obtain it, which may lead to conflicts. He's sensual, doesn't like being held down or disciplined, & is careful of becoming too possessive of friends or belongings. It may be easier for him to remain detatched than have his needs denied. He's probably an envious sort, with an amazing fantasy life. (This echoes Hans' approach to many things in life...though what he did allow himself to have he was terribly possesive of. And, yes, he often chose to be detatched from things around him.)

9 ) His middle-zone is dwarfed - He fluctuates between knowing what he is worth to having grave doubts about his ability to assist others or may make promises he can't fulfill. Chooses to live in his own world, ignoring the news. (Hans did have a shifted view of his own self.)

10 ) His writing slants to the right - Reveals an emotionally healthy individual who is seldom self-demonstrative. Logic & judgement rules. He pays attention to details & protocol. Open-minded, he thinks & plans carefully, not jumping to conclusions. If he can't do something well, he's likely to not do it at all. (Much of this echoes his "detective side" for me. Though Hans was anything but emotionally healthy as the war went on.)

11 ) He prefers the triangle to other shapes - He has strong physical desires & effectively stimulates action. He is fearless in saying what is on his mind, careless too. Asserts himself impulsively & enthusiastically. (Hans was apt to speak his mind sometimes even if he did feel a bit uncomfortable in doing so. However, there was little carelessness or impulsiveness in his talks & actions towards higher-ups. He was very calculated when dealing with them.)

Sincerely,
Laurasia

[eiszeit]

Laurasia, the handwriting analysis is quite interesting! I've always been interested in graphology, and this piqued my interest once again. I'm happy you have so much information about Hans, where you can even get documents he signed and analyze his handwriting from them!

[Storm]

That is interesting. My handwriting is very similar to the Lord's. RH seemed to change his to a more angular style. I must compare the photo of an early letter he wrote in a book to the lord's and to mine.

Have you got originals that Hans wrote? I only have an original signature, which is early, of RH. But I have letters that were written by the lord.

[msmir]

Wow that is interesting, I don't know much about graphology but I should get my hand writing analyzed.. mine looks like chicken scratch LOL.

[Laurasia]

I was quite intriqued with the idea of analyzing Hans' handwriting as soon as I found an example of his writing. And I was absolutely blown away by the accuracy of much of it.

Have you got originals that Hans wrote?

I have examples of work-related & personal paperwork that Hans filled out during the course of his life which I used for the analysis.

Sincerely,
Laurasia

[Laurasia]

Warning! Some content may be disturbing to some members!

A Very Angry Stream of Thought

This sudden stream of VERY angry thoughts was brought on by listening to Rammstein. Please note that the first part of this stream of thought was my own, but suddenly were overtaken by Hans' own stream of thought.

I want to be German!

I want to speak German!

I want to understand German!

It's so beautiful, strong, authoritative, comforting & my stupid American brain can no longer grasp it....only pine after its' meaning!

Why did we have to lose?!!!

Everything was for nothing & I am SO angry!

I once killed them for being a roadblock to our lives together, now I want to kill them for taking our life together away!!!!

I want to do it again & win...I want to know what our life & family would have been like!

Sincerely,
Laurasia

[Laurasia]

Guided Meditation Regarding Hans' Childhood

First I saw Hans helping Anna out of a "Nazi car" in a nice looking suit. (I believe it was the night of him hitting his head on the car later in the evening.)

Then I regressed further & saw a glimpse of Hans with the drinking party at Dachau.

Then I regressed further & saw him in what I believe was a senior HJ uniform lined up with others.

Then I regressed even further & saw Hans as a young boy of about 12 wearing a tannish-brown uniform with a neckerchief & shorts. He was quite darling with his blonde hair & blue eyes in his little uniform. He was living with other boys in a boarding or military school of sorts. They were playing a game or doing an exercise where they divided up into teams according to age groups & strategized against each other. Hans was the leader of his own group, as it consisted of kids his age & younger.

Sincerely,
Laurasia

[Miss Bothmann]

First I saw Hans helping Anna out of a "Nazi car" in a nice looking suit. (I believe it was the night of him hitting his head on the car later in the evening.)

I remember the "Nazi cars". They just don't make them like they used to as far as looks are concerned. By the way, you made me laugh at the reminder of that recollection. Serves you right, drunkie! Just kidding.

[Laurasia]

Serves you right, drunkie!

Gee, thanks a lot!

Seriously though, you are right about Hans being a drinker. I really can't say that I blame him for drinking though.

Sincerely,
Laurasia

[pixarfan]

Jun 16, 2011 15:58:02 GMT -5 Laurasia said:

I was quite intriqued with the idea of analyzing Hans' handwriting as soon as I found an example of his writing. And I was absolutely blown away by the accuracy of much of it.
I have examples of work-related & personal paperwork that Hans filled out during the course of his life which I used for the analysis.

Sincerely,
Laurasia

Laurasia, out of curiosity, does your current handwriting resemble his? I've read certain past life accounts that handwriting stays similar life to life, and in others, they don't.

(I used to be into handwriting analysis, BTW).