|
|
Post by privatetucker on Oct 9, 2010 9:43:30 GMT -5
'Cause of all my memoir assignments for school I have been trying to glean as much information as possible, hence yet another memory I got last night. At this rate I may be able to see the whole thing soon.  I think this was winter or spring 1944...and we were in the ghetto. Jacob and I were looking for a little privacy, somewhere away from all the crowds. We were in an abandoned house (for some reason a lot of the ghetto memories I have, while things may be in color, like the buildings are all brown. I don't know if they were just like that or my mind is being weird) and there was an old, rotting staircase behind us. He was up against a wall, and like in all my ghetto memories, he was wearing a light-ish brown coat, kind of like the color of caramel. My usual navy blue was tossed to one side, and so I was just in this flimsy (considering the weather) white blouse, that I think may have had very small dark blue polka dots. I also saw a navy blue skirt that was full, pleated and fell to my knees, and black stockings, and a white ribbon in my hair. Anyway, he was holding me close, running his fingers through my hair, I think. Either way, he started kissing me, and I got lost in the feeling, pressing myself up against him. I think he must have gotten lost in it, too, because he forget himself, and his hands were under my blouse, his knuckles brushing up against my back. I got (obviously) incredibly dizzy and kind of sighed. I get the feeling I was incredibly, incredibly naive about this kind of thing, despite being sixteen at that point. Either way, I had never felt anything like that before, though I also got the sense that he knew far more than I ever did, and I could also tell he wanted to press things further. I don't know if he actually did (though I very much doubt it) because my TV made this weird noise and I snapped out of the trance. |
|
|
|
Post by Laurasia on Oct 9, 2010 12:00:03 GMT -5
Even though you ended up experiencing such a traumatic memory, I am glad to see that music allows you to trance out & gain recollection as well Tucker. That is my most often used method of regression.  Sincerely, Laurasia |
|
|
|
Post by Miss Bothmann on Oct 10, 2010 11:07:59 GMT -5
Thank you for sharing all of these memories, tucker. I know that many of them were extremely painful, but there were some good ones in there too. I am so happy for you that your regressions are coming so clear and consistent. Music does that for me too..trance out easier. The easiest for me is Dead Can Dance "Into the Labyrinth".
|
|
|
|
Post by euskanoravian on Oct 10, 2010 13:57:46 GMT -5
Tucker, again thank you for sharing your memories, even though they were painful. Music also helps me in regards to accessing my past life memories. Nonetheless, I usually remember them in my dreams. They also come to me when I am lying in bed, sick. I tend to go into a trance-like state then. The worst ones always have to come to me when I am at my worst though. I wish it did not have to happen that way.
Blessed Be,
Andi
|
|
|
|
Post by msmir on Oct 10, 2010 19:39:33 GMT -5
In time you may learn how to control that kind of ability.. I know there are classes or courses for that kind of thing, fine tuning it that is.
|
|
|
|
Post by sweetlunapie on Oct 10, 2010 21:27:16 GMT -5
That is a pretty sexy memory! How romantic!  16 year olds were much more naive back then as a whole, and it is very sweet to hear about this blossoming romance through such an innocent lens. |
|
|
|
Post by privatetucker on Oct 10, 2010 21:54:51 GMT -5
MissBothmann: Hmmm...I'll definitely have to check out that song, then. ^^ Andi: I really, really wish that didn't happen to you, either. D8 Luna: Yeah, we were...and it was nice to see something positive instead a lot of the sad stuff I have regarding him. |
|
|
|
Post by privatetucker on Oct 11, 2010 13:43:11 GMT -5
So, last night, I was working on the "memoir" assignment for one of my college professors, and afterwards, still in a bit of that mindset, I decided to try and regress with a method I had never used before: The Ashkaic (I still cannot spell that word) records one. The reason why it's never worked for me is because I don't know who my spirit guide is, and so I would get nervous, and break out of the trance. I decided to just treat it like any other visualization whatsit, much like the movie theater one. Therefore, when I got to the door, I imagined Delta (I am such a RvB nerd it's almost ridiculous now) on the other side because not only would Delta feel completely at home in a library his character has always been comforting to me. So, he was there, and in typical Delta fashion, asked how he could assist me. I told him what I wanted, and he got my "book" for me. It was really pretty looking, white, and covered in some sort of soft, silky material. Unfortunately, though, my recollections were still fractured, and I think that's because I still have a block up, though I also believe it is slowly starting to break down. The first one I saw was of me and Rivkah, and I was hugging her around the waist, saying "Thank you, thank you, thank you so much". From where I was she seemed much taller than me (I don't know if she actually was; I don't remember) and yep, she was in the same dress. I think I was wearing a kind of wine colored one, also with a too short hem. It was a bit patched, so I had probably outgrown it and didn't have much else. But I am also doubting that, and wondering if I just have an overactive imagination when it comes to what I was wearing. Either way she gave me this quizzical look, and replied, "Um...yes...alright..." I have no idea what I was so excited about, or why I was thanking her. This was when I switched to another memory, and the back of my mind told me it was about 1941. I was riding a black bicycle, and my friend, a blonde Polish Christian girl, was riding next to me, and we were laughing about something. I was feeling rather reckless because I was going without my star...and I don't think I was supposed to be on that bike, either. I get the feeling it didn't belong to me. I don't know who that friend was, and it was the first time I've actually seen myself with a friend instead of a family member or Jacob, so I found that somewhat noteworthy. Another memory switch, this one very, very brief, and somewhat blurry, probably considering the subject matter. In the Lodz Ghetto, sometime in winter. It was very, very cold, and there was a dead man near the curb of the street; he had frozen to death and the tips of his fingers were purple with the cold. I was horrified and frightened and sad all at the same time...and then it faded out to another memory switch, this one happier. The ghetto again, and I think it was warmer out, maybe Spring. I was outside of the dwelling where my family lived, and I think my mother was on the second floor because I heard her calling me. I was in the street, and I was with Jacob, kissing him, and she was getting more and more angry with me. She was yelling, "Bronia, get inside right now!" but I wasn't listening to her, and went on kissing him instead. She was not very happy with him, I knew that much, from the tone of her voice. I am not sure if she disapproved of him exactly, or just the fact that her daughter was sucking face with some guy out in public like that. XD |
|
|
|
Post by sweetlunapie on Oct 11, 2010 13:54:17 GMT -5
Wow! I'm so glad that the Akashic Record readings have been coming in for you!
|
|
|
|
Post by Laurasia on Oct 12, 2010 14:32:52 GMT -5
Just so you know, "Into The Labyrinth" is the name of one of their albums & not just a song. Sincerely, Laurasia |
|
|
|
Post by privatetucker on Nov 2, 2010 7:40:06 GMT -5
'Kay...so since I'm writing about my past life finally I have been trying to do a regression for a few days and keep being unable to do so...a block. Stupid brain block. Anyway, I managed to get some more this morning, but it was very disjointed and foggy and I didn't get to zoom in and see more clearly because I got snapped out of my trance. My family is so freaking obnoxious in the morning, very loud despite the fact that I was "sleeping".
I wanted to see some stuff between the six month period that I was in what I call the "little ghetto" in my town until Lodz, because I know almost nothing about it, aside from the first kiss memory. But I ended up getting some stuff that was very different...
It started off with a Bergen-Belsen memory. I think it was before I got very sick because I was kinda strong, or at least I had some strength left. It was very muddy there, the most vivid sensation I had was the cold mud squishing between my toes. For some reason I was barefoot though I don't how or why that happened. But then I was in a different area of the camp that was not so muddy...instead the dirt was soft, but not wet, soft enough so that I could do my work--I had a shovel in my hands, and I was digging a trench. There were small pebbles in the dirt, I think because I could hear the sound of them when I was getting dirt out of the trench. The awful part was that I knew what it was supposed to be used for...we were supposed to be digging it so they (someone other than me) could put the dead...it hurt my hands, the shovel, I think my palms were bleeding...kinda sticky and gross...
And then another, unclear memory switch. This time to Birkenau, where I was like, a record keeper or whatever it was called (I don't know the exact word for it) and what I remember besides the typewriter and paper was a girl next to me. She was very pretty, had olive skin and dark hair (cut kinda short like the rest of us) and almond shaped eyes, I think...I think they were kind of greenish maybe because I found that unusual...she was Greek. That's what the back of my mind was telling me. That she was a Greek girl. She smiled at me...and then I don't really remember what else happened there.
The next thing I got was snow. Snow on trees, and for some reason it actually was in Birkenau...I think the trees beyond the fence, the birch trees around the camp. It was strangely pretty despite the ugly...
Then the next thing I saw was the close up of a wooden gate, a fence. And then people, kind of in a big group. I was among then, and I felt kinda crushed or squished between them...that was when we were entering the "big ghetto", the one in Lodz...
The final memory, again very brief, was back in Auschwitz. I don't know what was going on or what I was doing, but I had my hands clapped over my nose and mouth...the back of my mind was telling me this was because of the stench, something smelled awful (I think the crematorium) though thank God when regressing this, I didn't smell anything.
Then I got snapped out of it because my family was making so much noise. Ugh. =/
|
|
|
|
|
|
Post by sweetlunapie on Nov 2, 2010 19:24:52 GMT -5
Wow, I did not know that you did physical labor!
|
|
|
|
Post by Laurasia on Nov 3, 2010 12:26:24 GMT -5
Thank you for continuing to share your memories with us, whether they are disjointed or not. And they seemed pretty clear to me anyway. I sometimes get recollections like that too...& I don;t care for it either. You start to have one & want to go more deeply into it, but instead you keep jumping from one flash to another & not truly exploring any of them. LOL! Sincerely, Laurasia |
|
|
|
Post by msmir on Nov 3, 2010 14:42:54 GMT -5
That is fascinating... I had no idea that you did physical labor either.. but it just sounded horrific what you were forced to do  There must be a reason that you are remembering this now. |
|
There must be a reason that you are remembering this now.