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Post by msmir on Sept 30, 2010 14:26:24 GMT -5
Aww really Laurasia, not sure what to say *blush*
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Post by privatetucker on Oct 1, 2010 22:52:44 GMT -5
Okay, so I did a regression tonight that gave me a lot of choppy, unclear stuff. So if this post IS choppy and unclear, that's why.
Actually, since last time a song was able to put me into a trance, I decided to make a "regression play list". It had the song that originally threw me in a trance (First Wave by Trocadero) a bunch of times, and a few other instrumental pieces that may not make sense to anyone else but they work for me.
What I wanted to do was find out who Rivkah and Jacob (the guy I loved) are in this life. I didn't find that out. However, I did find out a few interesting things.
The first image I got was of Rivkah...again. I don't why she keeps showing up. But she does, and this time it was the corner of that blue dress again, her legs, which were rather skinny and she wore black stockings. I think she was running but I couldn't place when or where. I asked...I wanted to see Jacob. I wanted to find out more about him.
It was very very hazy...I still don't know why it's so difficult to get memories of him but I think it has to do with one of the ones I saw/felt...
I saw what he looked like again, though that, too was hazy--you were right the first time, Luna, he had dark hair, I think black. The next thing I remember is clinging to him, absolutely clinging to him. Again, I don't know when or where. It was a mix of such a deep, longing and love for him--like a connection I can't really put into words, between the two of us. It was mutual, very much so, but even now just thinking about it...it's like the kind of love that makes your heart soar, if that makes sense?
But on top of that was some of the most terrible pain and sadness. I kept saying (I don't know if I was saying it out loud) but the mantra was "don't leave me don't leave me don't leave me please" and he was kissing the top of my head, I think, and holding me close to him. But I had the terrible, terrible feeling he could be ripped away any minute.
I saw my arm again at some point, the sleeve rolled up with the number. Now I could see the number clearly--420753. It switched again...to him and I...this time he was holding my hand. I didn't feel the scared, panicked, feeling. I dunno if it can be described as inner peace...it was like I was wacthing from far away now, from behind--at first I could see my hand in his and feel it but then as if it was a camera in a movie it pulled back and I saw the back of him...the yellow star on the back (though there was one on his chest, too, I just saw one on the back) and the cobblestones...
There was a fence, too, on either side but we were walking in the middle of the street....there were other people there but I didn't pay much attention....he was talking about something. I didn't hear the words but what came into my head was politics. Whatever it was it was something he was really interested in cause he was like, really talking a lot about it. The word that also came into my head was Communist. We were in the ghetto, I know that much.
Memory switch again...very strange how these were so unconnected but it was me when I was little (I want to say four) and I saw very bright, shiny black shoes at first. And then I saw a dress with pleats down the front, it was short above the knees, with a white collar embroidered with flowers on it. The dress was pink, and I guess the best way to describe it would be like something Shirley Temple would wear. My hair was in little curls, too, and I don't think I felt particularly happy about that! XD
The last memory I had was back to Rivkah, again in that dress (I swear she must have worn it all the time or I am just seeing memories from the same like, day or something) and she had her arm around my shoulder in a friendly way, like we were posing for a picture or something, though I don't know if we actually were.
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Post by sweetlunapie on Oct 2, 2010 4:54:45 GMT -5
I am so proud that you were having success in regressing your life on your own.  These two must have been people whom you loved very much, and maybe that's why your memories keep focusing on them both. Keep trying this, though because you might be able to find out if you know him; I'm sure it takes some time to train your mind and organize your memories. As for the sailor dress, I wonder if you and Rivkah only had a few outfits that you could bring to the ghetto, and that was one of them. It could be a statistical thing (say one could have a chance of seeing 1, 2, or 3 and 3 keeps coming up), but who knows? Then again, it is possible that she did only have that dress there. Even though the goal is to find out who Jacob is now and you didn't get that information, it sounds like you did find some very significant memories...sounds like a very productive regression! |
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Post by privatetucker on Oct 2, 2010 9:26:26 GMT -5
I am so proud that you were having success in regressing your life on your own. These two must have been people whom you loved very much, and maybe that's why your memories keep focusing on them both. Keep trying this, though because you might be able to find out if you know him; I'm sure it takes some time to train your mind and organize your memories. As for the sailor dress, I wonder if you and Rivkah only had a few outfits that you could bring to the ghetto, and that was one of them. It could be a statistical thing (say one could have a chance of seeing 1, 2, or 3 and 3 keeps coming up), but who knows? Then again, it is possible that she did only have that dress there. Even though the goal is to find out who Jacob is now and you didn't get that information, it sounds like you did find some very significant memories...sounds like a very productive regression! Awww, thanks. <3 Yeah, by the looks of all the memories I have altogether the two of them seemed to be the most significant figures in my life--I've only seen my mother from that life once, and have absolutely no memories of a father. Yeah, I think with the dress thing by the time we go to the ghetto most of our possessions were probably taken...factor in the possibility of outgrowing stuff and that leaves you with very limited options in terms of clothes. |
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Post by msmir on Oct 3, 2010 0:51:54 GMT -5
It is so interesting how you got those memories of them.. it is so interesting you can just go into a trance with certain songs which help along with that.. and remember so much.. I am tired and after dealing with a crisis filled night.. my mind is in jello... but don't wanna go to bed yet even though I should... so I may not be 100% yeah I think you already do know them but I think these people are popping up all of the time now is because of that.. you are likely going to discover soon WHO they are! I know from experience if someone from a past life pops up in your head a lot, you are about to discover who they are in this life. Or if a situation is popping up all of the time... from a past life, there could be significance to that too.
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Post by euskanoravian on Oct 3, 2010 20:08:23 GMT -5
Those stories are so heart breaking. No one can imagine the violation you must have felt when your possessions were taken, along with your dignity. Do you think Jacob is in an incarnation right now? I hope you are able to find out who he is, if so. One day I'll talk about my girlfriend from my last life. I did meet her, who was recently a him. He did pass away 7 and a half years ago. One day I'll have the strength to be more specific.
Blessed Be,
Andi
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Post by privatetucker on Oct 5, 2010 12:07:18 GMT -5
Those stories are so heart breaking. No one can imagine the violation you must have felt when your possessions were taken, along with your dignity. Do you think Jacob is in an incarnation right now? I hope you are able to find out who he is, if so. One day I'll talk about my girlfriend from my last life. I did meet her, who was recently a him. He did pass away 7 and a half years ago. One day I'll have the strength to be more specific. Blessed Be, Andi Awww. *hugs* My condolences (though I know it's not recent...the sentiment still stands). I actually don't know if Jacob has shown up again (sometimes I think he has...I have an inkling of who he may be), or will show up again, but I would like to find out for sure. Miriam, I hope most of the crisis you are dealing with is a bit better now...and I hope you are right in me finding out soon. ^^ |
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Post by sweetlunapie on Oct 6, 2010 6:32:23 GMT -5
Msmir, seriously, my sympathy goes out to you!  PrivateTucker, please tell if there are any developments in terms of finding Jacob! |
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Post by msmir on Oct 6, 2010 9:14:21 GMT -5
Thank you... things are under control right now and it is not as serious as it appeared to be but still, it's an issue. Yeah Tucker, I would be interested too.
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Post by privatetucker on Oct 6, 2010 22:21:34 GMT -5
So, actually, speaking of which, I did attempt another regression tonight, and I got something. Like the other one I did, at first things came in small, unclear flashes until it focused on a distinct memory that I kind of "fell into" as opposed to watched from a distance. ...Sometimes I think about it like Alice down the rabbit hole, seriously.  So, the first flash was him in Auschwitz. Just him, in color, with the grey uniform. Then it very quickly changed to a shot in a different time and a different place...he was kissing me. I knew he wanted more than that but I don't think we ever were lovers in that sense of the word... Then back to him in Auschwitz, and he was doing labor of some kind with a shovel like you said, Luna. I saw the pebbles falling off the end of his shovel--like pebbles and dirt as he was tossing it to one side...then this is where it got a little confusing. I saw an electrical fence in some part of Birkenau, with a guard tower near it, or somewhere in the distance. It was daytime, and I was on one side of the fence, and he was on the other. Then suddenly it switched to night and I was alone...waiting...I could see the moon. And that is when I was pulled right into a memory, only this time it was in my block in Birkenau, in my bunk. I was sobbing--no, the correct word would be howling. I can't even begin to describe the pain in my chest, the actual grief that just swept through my body and wouldn't let go. To the point where in the trance I actually was tearing up. That was right after I think I found out he died because I kept saying "He's gone, he's gone" and Rivkah was holding me closer, and rubbing my back. She was calling me a name I had never heard before, and I think was some sort of Hebrew name, maybe a Yiddish name or nickname, I'm not sure. Because my name, Bronia, was Polish, so I suppose it would be a reasonable conclusion that I would have a Hebrew name. Anyway, she was calling me Abbye, and rubbing my back, trying to comforted me, but I wouldn't be comforted. I had my head buried in my arms, and I could feel that dress, the long sleeves, against my skin. Kinda rough fabric. I could see the ceiling of the block--I was in one of the wooden blocks, not the brick ones you sometimes see. And the other women in the block were saying, "Shut up" or saying to Rivkah, "Can't you shut her up?" I think...I think that was the moment when I started to give up, just a little. I kind of wondered why I was shown such a painful memory, over all the other positive ones I must have of him. And I think it's because of that--that I was meant to feel that grief and separation first that way it wouldn't hurt as bad as it could after I had seen the happy memories. |
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Post by euskanoravian on Oct 6, 2010 23:56:38 GMT -5
I am saddened to read such a painful recollection you had, Tucker. I cannot even begin to comprehend the pain and grief of- lovers losing their lovers, parents losing their children, and children losing their parents- who all died in the hands of hate. You lost your lover, and having the memory of that must have been awful, and brought back trauma. Nonetheless you could be right about why you had such a painful recollection over happy memories. It would be somewhat easier to handle having these better memories if you went through the grief process again, so to speak. I hope you end up meeting him at some point in your life, Tucker.
Blessed Be,
Andi
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Post by sweetlunapie on Oct 7, 2010 8:40:08 GMT -5
Aww...that is sad... Maybe that was just a way to show you that that was a very big part of your life, one of the major memories? It is so bittersweet; so much love but so much pain in the loss... I understand how prisoners can be tired from all of the work, but that was so rude of them! I'm really proud that the regressions are coming in so clear for you! Such a good job! |
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Post by msmir on Oct 7, 2010 9:04:05 GMT -5
That is a very sad memory But yeah them telling Rivkah to "shut up" was just...so wrong! |
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Post by privatetucker on Oct 7, 2010 10:14:35 GMT -5
Andi: Thank you very much for the sentiments, and everything. I really hope I do, too. <3 Going through the grief process again is what makes the most sense, even if it was ugly to do so... Luna: Thanks, especially for showing me how to do so in the first place. Miriam: I was too far ion my grief to really be angry at them for that, but I'm sure she was. Tempers are short, and I'm sure noise would cause some sort of punishment but...yeah... |
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Post by sweetlunapie on Oct 7, 2010 13:10:16 GMT -5
It's my pleasure! |
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