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Post by Leutnantzursee on Nov 2, 2011 23:50:44 GMT -5
Hi  My name is Liz, I'm British, 45, a writer and mum! This looks like a fascinating forum, I hope I've come to the right place as my past life memory seems to be of an ordinary German serviceman rather than anyone connected directly with the camps and holocaust. But from what I 'saw' during a past life regression I had a disabled sister who I was forced to hand over to the authorities and its possible she ended her days at a death camp. In my present life - I grew up with a father who had experienced brutality first hand from the Gestapo, during the occupation of Jersey, and so my early memories of all things German seemed to carry very negative connotations. However, I always had this feeling that in some way I 'understood' the German mindset and felt this kind of empathy and attraction to them. I never considered I might have been a part of the Third Reich's war machine until I did a series of past life regressions by self hypnosis this summer. Prior to that, I had experienced a lot of dreams and flashbacks pertaining to WW1 in which ironically I was an American-Jewish heiress! In that life I lost many loved ones and had family in Wales. I had a lot of evidence for that life and had assumed it was my last life, but it seems this wasn't the case! During the regressions I said that I came from a place called Kreisberg, which I later learned was in Austria, its an obscure district of a town called Sankt Poltens, spooky as I couldn't have possibly known the existence of it. I saw myself at one of the Nazi rallies cheering along with the rest of the crowd, caught up in the frenzy of it all and later heading for a beer keller along with another young man. I also saw myself on a train dressed in the HJ uniform and feeling very pleased with myself. The tape told me to go to the most shameful memory I had from that life and I saw myself signing a document that would force my little sister into state 'care' and I have a terrible feeling she died at one of the KZ camps. On a side note my best friend of this life has had dreams of fleeing Nazis and also of watching the ritualistic killing of Jews whilst perched on the knee of an SS officer. I wonder if she was my sister who was called 'Lisi' again a name I'd never heard of. As for me, I seemed to have joined the Kreigsmarines and was possibly lost on the Scharnhorst in 1943 (I've actually found a crew member who's name and dates fit my regression.) Even though I may well have not been directly linked with the holocaust, like all Germans of that time, I was brainwashed and duped by a monster. My feelings towards Hitler are of personal disgust, like I gave my life for you, you...*bleep*! I know that aside from Jews, many other 'social undesirables' were put to death and as I say, I feel a great sense of shame and guilt about being party to the 'disappearance' of my own sister. All my life I've had problems with self esteem and as a small child was haunted by dreams of skeletons and corpses, if that has any bearing on my past life, I don't know. In this lifetime I despise neo-Nazism and generally rather prefer the company of non English people! I'm also far from looking 'Aryan' as I'm a brunette with brown eyes, I think in my last life I wasn't particularly 'Aryan' looking either, but longed to be! Anyway...sorry for the long intro there! As I say I hope my story makes me eligible for this forum, as I badly need to talk about all this. Liz (Sheffield, England.) |
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Post by msmir on Nov 3, 2011 0:25:16 GMT -5
Hi Liz, nice to meet you and welcome. I am Miriam and a reincarnated victim. And thanks for sharing your past life memories. Repentant reincarnated Nazis and supporters often feel guilty. I say a bit of guilt is always good as it pushes you in the direction to make things right but never to drown in guilt and let it take over your life. Anyone who was affected by the Third Reich, regardless of side came back to heal. I am so sorry you were haunted by those dreams as a child.... I hate corpses too with a passion.
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Post by Leutnantzursee on Nov 3, 2011 11:17:17 GMT -5
Thank you so much Miriam and SS3 (btw my twin sister in my WW1 life was called Miriam - thanks for the FB invite too!) its nice to be made so welcome:-) Yes it has been devastating taking this on board, as I always thought of myself as a tolerant and compassionate soul, and yet as I've journeyed along with this, I've found a darker side and sometimes this terrifying, volcanic anger that seems to come from deep inside, as if its all been suppressed. Yet so much of my anger is directed at bullies, as a kid I always stood up for the kid that everyone else was picking on, maybe that was down to what happened to Lisi? Miriam - I used to think I might have been a victim of the holocaust because of my fear and low self-esteem, so yes you can imagine how shocked I was, when I did the regression, yet a part of me wasn't really surprised. Sometimes I feel like I've opened a can of worms - I bet everyone feels that! I have a close friend who is Jewish, on her mother's side though she's Catholic German, its such an extraordinary past for her, her grandfather died in Auschwitz and on her mother's side they were dutiful, cap-doffing supporters. Her mother converted when she married, I get the impression a number of women of that generation married Jewish men, mainly I think to prove that they rejected the Nazi indoctrination they knew as children, to escape the past completely. I read a very interesting book called 'My Nazi childhood' by Irmingard Hunt - she married an American Jew and discusses this concept of total rejection that the post war Germans needed to express.
SS3 - wow! I feel like I have so many questions as I've never met anyone who remembers a past life in the Third Reich, or at least would admit to it! Of course this was my reason for joining this forum! I'm so sorry about your best friend, actually I've told a few people, including a German friend of mine, she's rather skeptical of reincarnation but bizarrely knows another man who believes he was in the Wehrmacht in his last life and is American now! Of course modern Germans are generally very anti-Nazi and have been so shamed for what happened, it was hard to tell her, but she accepted it OK. My mum and family too, I'm amazed no one seemed that horrified or trashed it all as imagination. I don't know about 'T4' I'm guessing that was the program to exterminate the mentally and physically disabled (will have to go google!) Its interesting what you say about the DNA test too, oddly I discovered I do have German ancestry via my great granny who was a Dane. I think on both sides there's a strong Romany element, so these days I like to think of myself as a Romany-Viking!! I've read a couple of accounts by reincarnated Nazis, who now are either Jewish or from another ethnic minority, someone even suggested that a large number of us have come back as women, arguably another oppressed section of society. Oddly I have to admit that I've always been very sexually attracted to Germanic men, as if I'm trying to find something specific, or even a person, I don't quite understand that obsession and its not something I'd really admit outside of this forum. I also rejected the Aryan thing, but now I'm trying to re-evaluate it all, and I've discovered (being an archaeology graduate!) that the prehistoric past the Third Reich were so keen to ransack and re-write, was in fact one of tolerance and of female centered community! I do feel a need to find what's good in the Germanic race and culture and to reclaim my own heritage, I really know what you mean though, its a hard journey to go on.
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Post by rednight94 on Nov 3, 2011 15:10:28 GMT -5
Hello, Lizzie. Welcome to the site. I'm sorry to hear about your sister in your last life. That must be a particularly difficult memory to deal with.  I'm very attracted to Germanic men too, nothing to be ashamed of.... and I was a victim! I was also (I believe) married to a SS man in another life, though. I believe in parallel lives, and think that I was both a German woman, and a German-Jewish boy (thanks to the reading by mismir) at virtually the same time. |
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Post by Leutnantzursee on Nov 3, 2011 21:52:44 GMT -5
Hi Red night - thanks for the welcome:-) That's an interesting theory about parallel lives, with all the new thinking on quantum physics it would certainly be feasible! I sometimes have this strong feeling for being French with an SS lover, I always get hit with this sadness and longing about this time of year connected to loving a German guy - so maybe I was both? Wow something to think on!
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Post by Laurasia on Nov 6, 2011 15:46:35 GMT -5
Hello Lizzie. Welcome to the forum. I am certainly glad tat you were able to find us as I can completely understand the dire need of a reincarnated Nazi to have to share their memories & experiences with others. I myself am a reincarnated Nazi as well.  And of course you are welcome here! I created this forum specifically so that us reincarnated Nazis & Holocaust victims who are looking to heal can come together & do so safely. Thank you for sharing your memories with us. I am also saddened to hear that you have been so tormented by your memories, unfortunately that is something that our members here can definitely relate to. And I absolutely suspect that your sister likely did die as part of the T-4 Program as SS3 mentioned. Which, yes, was the extermination program against the mentally & physically handicapped. For a time I worked in that program during my life as Hans. Anyway, I hope that you enjoy yourself here. If you have any questions or concerns feel free to PM either myself or our Global Moderator MsMir. Sincerely, Laurasia |
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Post by Leutnantzursee on Nov 7, 2011 10:47:33 GMT -5
Hi Iseke and Laurasia - its so nice to meet you:-)
Laurasia - I just read your blog about Hans... it's fascinating and at times unsettling, especially the account of how he hanged himself and you were a disembodied soul for a while. I have to tell you that since I uncovered all this stuff, I've noticed a lot of spirits around me, most seem to be dead Nazis, still coming to terms with the repercussions of their appalling actions. There's some kind of 'decompression chamber' for them, was the impression I got, I don't know if this ties in with anything you experienced in the between life state. The fact that both you and SS3 made it back into an incarnation as well-adjusted, fair human Beings seems to me a really incredible achievement and shift for your soul to make. Heck - to even come back at all so soon after the holocaust is very brave of you, I know there are till senior Nazis out there in the ether who cannot find rest or move on, let alone return to Earth!
My own feelings towards the Third Reich are pretty damning, I often flick Hitler the middle finger, I hate how he duped the ordinary 'Volk' into war, how he convinced us it was a just war. I was watching 'Das Boot' last night and I just cried and cried, I had a sort of 'memory' of having to leave British sailors to drown, we couldn't rescue them (like the U-boatman in the film) it was a horrible memory, something I felt so ashamed of. Laurasia, I'm going to dig into the T4 stuff, though its going to break my heart. I don't know the full story with Emil/Peter, all I saw was him signing the paper, what was wrong with Lisi I don't know, but I do know our adoptive mother had died and I was now the girl's legal guardian and just couldn't take care of her, I was in service by then. It's funny as so much of my past life regression was taken up with looking at these bloody lace curtains and table cloth, the whole house was festooned in this presumably Austrian lace! I didn't get to see anything too disturbing, mainly because the tape doesn't take you there for obvious reasons. I'd really like to do it properly, but can't afford the therapy, I also suspect my daughter is a part of this too, although the Japanese hold a special place in her heart, we've always assumed she was on that side of the Axis.
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gwida
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Post by gwida on Nov 8, 2011 4:14:31 GMT -5
Hello lizzie66! Wow, you remember HEAPS! ;D Whenever I tried to do self PL regression, I'd end up falling asleep. The tape told me to go to the most shameful memory I had from that life and I saw myself signing a document that would force my little sister into state 'care' and I have a terrible feeling she died at one of the KZ camps. On a side note my best friend of this life has had dreams of fleeing Nazis and also of watching the ritualistic killing of Jews whilst perched on the knee of an SS officer. I wonder if she was my sister who was called 'Lisi' again a name I'd never heard of. Hmm... that's very interesting. I had this random mental image of a rather hunched over, thin-looking girl with a high forehead, wearing thin-wired round glasses and blond hair tied back in a ponytail. Sorry, random thought! Makes me wonder the original "root word" of the name "Lisi". (A green oak leaf floating in the breeze? -- No idea what's wrong with my mind at this point). Um, "wikiapaedia said"... it's some sort of Afro-asiatic in origin name: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lisi_(disambiguation) |
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Post by Leutnantzursee on Nov 8, 2011 11:26:29 GMT -5
Hello Gwida - wow please don't apologize for any psychic impressions you get - that sent a shiver through me....actually that's almost given me palpitations, I think you've tuned into something. As soon as you described her I got it and can see it too! In my regression I only saw her sort of in peripheral vision, dancing about behind me and wearing braids, I was painting this landscape on an easel aged about eighteen I suppose while she would have been ten years younger at least. The name is funny - at the time when I said 'Lisi' I thought that sounds like something I just made up, but later I was reading a book about a woman who grew up near Oversaltzsburg, she mentioned a school friend with the exact same name - so it really is a German girl's name, not such a common one presumably and I don't think I'd ever heard of it before. Of course it also sounds like 'Lizzie' my name now!
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gwida
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Post by gwida on Nov 8, 2011 15:12:22 GMT -5
Phew! *Wipes brow* Sorry, when ever I get these impressions about people, I can't help but say them! I'm just constantly worried that I'm wrong! Um... when you said that you didn't know what she was signed off for to be taken into "care", it's like... I dunno, she had trouble walking? Maybe something to do with a slightly deformed right foot? I don't feel like she had any mental disabilities... perhaps just very quiet and not interactive? I just felt like she'd be one of those bookworm kids from a very early age, but... didn't talk much so people could've possibly thought there WAS something "not quite right"...? No...? *Cringes inwardly at self* If I do get any other strong impressions, I could try PM-ing you them... I'm just not used to getting such strong "flashes" (if anything it's probably 'cause I've started dabbling in my own past a bit too much...) so I have no idea where they're coming from most of the time.  (I still have no idea where that stupid mental oak-leaf reference came from... maybe she liked oak trees...  ) |
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Post by Leutnantzursee on Nov 9, 2011 0:48:39 GMT -5
OMG Gwida!!!!
No, that makes chilling sense. I somehow imagine Lisi wearing a caliper on her leg, when I saw her dancing it was with a limp, but I thought they wouldn't put a kid away for having polio, as I instinctively feel she had. I assumed she must have a mental disability too. But from I've read about T4 today (which incidentally had me in floods of tears) they did take people away for having depression for Christ's sakes! I don't know about the Oak leaf, but I shall think on it. Funnily enough my half-sister did a painting of an oak tree for me once, like a Celtic design...she has a thing for Nazi Germany too, and I've just been telling her about this forum! I had a flashback about my best friend too, years ago. I saw her as a little girl with a leg caliper.
I'm so grateful for your impressions Gwida, please do tell me if you get anymore:-) What is your own PL story btw? I'm sure you must have told it on the forum, but it must be a way back as you joined in June.
Thanks so much:-)
Liz x
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gwida
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Post by gwida on Nov 9, 2011 3:36:19 GMT -5
OMG Gwida!!!! No, that makes chilling sense. I somehow imagine Lisi wearing a caliper on her leg, when I saw her dancing it was with a limp, but I thought they wouldn't put a kid away for having polio, as I instinctively feel she had. I assumed she must have a mental disability too. But from I've read about T4 today (which incidentally had me in floods of tears) they did take people away for having depression for Christ's sakes! I don't know about the Oak leaf, but I shall think on it. Funnily enough my half-sister did a painting of an oak tree for me once, like a Celtic design...she has a thing for Nazi Germany too, and I've just been telling her about this forum! I had a flashback about my best friend too, years ago. I saw her as a little girl with a leg caliper. I'm so grateful for your impressions Gwida, please do tell me if you get anymore:-) What is your own PL story btw? I'm sure you must have told it on the forum, but it must be a way back as you joined in June. Thanks so much:-) Liz x That's OK chick! ^^ I'm just happy I could help in any way I could. I'm really sorry what happened to your sister. Though the way you keep mentioning your friend, perhaps your friend really is your sister? So you guys would be back together then. (You can tell I'm the type of person that gets excited by simple things, LOL. Looking into other's PLs...) Hmm... oak leaves and Nazi Germany? I'm pretty darn sure there's oak leaves in war rank decorations? I'm unsure if you were actually in the army, but I could only picture 1 oak leaf... *pensive look* I don't think she had a mental disability... if anything, maybe just very empathetic...? Wow. I didn't know they took away people for depression either! I keep getting a mental image of her... I really wanna draw her, but I keep thinking the picture will turn out stupid (I can draw animals, but people take longer for me. I could try though, if you don't mind...) It's the same thing I did with my SS dude! =^^=My story, OMG it's just... mental! (I don't live long, so there's not much to say). This is what I wrote on the forum: soulreconciliations.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=reincarnation&action=display&thread=435&page=1... and another link: SS man part 1 forest-spirits.blogspot.com/2011/06/my-ss-man.htmlSo yeah, that's it on me, really! Polio...? Hmm... polio DOES cause one to become crippled, does it not? en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poliomyelitis That's SORT OF what I imagined her foot as, though nothing grossly dramatic (if that makes sense. It was twisted, and she could never support her weight fully on it simply because of the way the bones had formed, but kinda rocked a bit, back and forth... I THINK...)Are you able by any chance to take a photo of that painting...? It would be interesting to look at. EDITAfter drawing what ROUGHLY resembles my mental image of your sister, I feel... rather ashamed of myself. I'm just too tired atm to draw her face up close in detail... could give it a shot though... |
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Post by eiszeit on Nov 9, 2011 4:10:49 GMT -5
I'll second this. There were oak leaves in Nazi Germany's rankings, specifically the higher rankings of the SS. From Standartenfuehrer up until Oberstgruppenfuehrer, I think. I believe even Heinrich had an oak leaf on his over-decorated monstrosity of a collar tab.  |
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Post by Leutnantzursee on Nov 9, 2011 4:51:15 GMT -5
Oh my goodness Gwida your PL sounds so tragic and oh the irony of someone like Goebbels who looked about as Aryan as Woody Allen!! What gets me so much with the Nazis is the grand scale of hypocrisy over race, I read that when it SUITED them, then OK they could overlook a tad of Jewish or Gypsy blood. I saw on Wikipedia that one of the Admirals was allegedly Jewish on his mother's side (making him Jewish by birthright) but they overlooked that fact because he was useful. How much did this happen I wonder? I don't know a huge amount about the SS, although they hold a grim fascination for me - but I know towards the end of the war they were recruiting just about any Tom Dick and Harry out of desperation. There was even a Muslim division and one comprised of freed prisoners - who were responsible for the atrocities of the Warsaw ghetto. I have to wonder what the 'old school' SS thought of this, did they regard it as a betrayal of their ideals, weren't they after all the fabled 'knights' of Germany? I bet they had their doubts about it all by then, I dunno? So, maybe they ignored your Semitic heritage at the time, I don't know, SS3 would probably know better than me:-) So looks like you were in the Waffen SS rather than the regular, have I got that right? I get the impression it was crazy at the close of the war, hangings, people fleeing and defecting, backdoor handshakes, Staufenburg et al - all sorts. You seem to have been caught up in that fervor, people were going into meltdown then, they knew the war was lost I think and it must have been the stuff of nightmares for those unfortunates on the receiving end of it all...
Well, that's curious about the Oak leaves because it is one of the Nazi military honours that came with the Iron cross as far as I know. You could get the iron Cross with oak leaves, diamonds and swords as the highest military honour. I doubt very much that would have been me - I doubt I got so much as a frickin' scout badge for my bungled attempts at playing 'sailor' and worse still my hapless stint in the Luftwaffe before (if that's what happened - tell me if you get anything on that!!lol) I have wondered if my best mate was Lisi, I've mentioned it a couple of times and it does scare her. She's had some really grim dreams and has such a thing she calls 'Victorian weirdness' and we kind of joke about it, but I know Al is just trying to articulate the creepiness of old institutional buildings. When she did her art degree she took loads of photos of these really gloomy towering old mills - and I thought at the time - that looks horridly like a series of photos of the camps or something like them. Gosh its odd you getting this stuff so clearly - your name wasn't 'Willi' in your last life was it?? Only he was someone I knew, I'm just wondering if we have a shared memory or two with this:-)
This is all so fascinating and helpful - much appreciated like I say:-)
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And of course you are welcome here! I created this forum specifically so that us reincarnated Nazis & Holocaust victims who are looking to heal can come together & do so safely. 
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