gwida
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Posts: 109
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Post by gwida on Nov 14, 2012 20:10:49 GMT -5
I have been having more dreams about Goebbels. In this dream I was in the kitchen of a house that was unfamiliar to me, and I was walking towards a refrigerator to get something to eat. Suddenly I was pushed down to the floor by someone from behind. I got up and saw a man, and he was Goebbels, he is staring straight ahead with an icy stare. I tell him, "When I get to heaven I will tell God about what you just did!" His eyes darted towards me, and he scoffed, and he replied "You do that, I don't care" I got the impression that he did not fear God in any way, his cold calculated nature was almost unbearable to watch. The man totally disgusted me, I wanted to run away and hide. Slightly off-topic, but sometime during the start of this year I had a bizarre dream of Goebbels conspiring with Hitler something *note this was in astral plane though*. As soon as they saw me walk in, they both scarpered -- for someone with club foot, Goebbels did a pretty good job at sprinting away. He did feel rather cowardly from that encounter. Anyway, that's what my dreams are like: bizarre.
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Post by gumby on Nov 14, 2012 21:13:11 GMT -5
Thanks for sharing that gwida. I wonder why they ran off when they saw you enter the room. Often I wonder who came up with the most evil schemes, Hitler or Goebbels. I think that Goebbels pretty much just implemented Hitler's wishes. He was good at making things appear grand and just when in reality they were absolute poisionous. I am not sure why I see Goebbels so often in my dreams, I have also seen Hitler, but not as often as I've seen Goebbels. I must have seen Goebbels more often when I was Katie, and I think that I was able to see through his veneer exterior. This made me question the values which were taught to us in BDM as young girls. When I was older (18) I began to question all of these values, and I even think that the idea of brainwashing was beginning to "gel", I realized that all was not as it seemed. It was a real awakening when I realized this, that my country and leaders may be wrong, and everything which we held so dear was a deception. This was of course during the end of the war, when many people began to question the intents of the Nazis.
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gwida
Full Member
Posts: 109
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Post by gwida on Nov 15, 2012 13:39:21 GMT -5
All I know from my 2--3 dream/astral encounters with Hitler (and that one & only time that Goebbels was there) was that I'd evidently p*ss*d him off somehow. As to my PL character, I don't have much recollection of how I acted, so my guess is as good as your why they'd run away on sight.
I don't think that it's even possible to "evil scale" someone! :s Both were horrendous in their own ways -- interesting you've dreamt having a fair few encounters with them -- thank god I don't recall many...
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Post by gumby on Nov 18, 2012 22:16:54 GMT -5
I think that they run because they need to cover up thier meeting, and they want it to be a secret. In a sense their running away is symbolic of their crime, they have to hide their evil deeds against humanity.
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Post by gumby on Nov 22, 2012 1:57:02 GMT -5
Wow Gumby, those are startling images there. I'm surprised actually that Goebbels was so rude to a little girl, considering his large family and the air of being a 'family man' that he at least exuded as a public persona. How sweet of you though, to put him in his place like that, he certainly deserved it! That hall too is sort of familiar, is it in Austria? maybe it's just because I recall some of the rallies, it sort of reminded me of feeling a bit bored and yawning, as speeches doubtless went on and on! Thanks for sharing those images and your memories Gumby, you do find some wonderful old photos to upload and they do bring back so many memories for many of us I'm sure :-) I think that I found the location of that hall lizzie. From what I've been able to gather, the hall is the Opera Hall in Chemnitz. That is not far from Austria. I may have went there for the occasion of Hitler's birthday, it being a National holiday. I was living in Vienna at the time, entertaining troops in a theater program. I remember the ceremony at the hall as making me feel uncomfortable, and I even felt like Goebbels was staring at me at times. I could sense his dishonesty and I grew to distrust him afterwards. It was a very wonderful hall, very ornamental as you can see in the photo. I read that it was destroyed by bombs not long after I was there.
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Post by Leutnantzursee on Nov 23, 2012 0:46:28 GMT -5
So that hall wasn't in Austria, still I'm sure there must have been a lot of theatres similar. I came from a town in Austria called Sankt Polton's - I don't know if that rings any bells? I do get a feeling for Berlin, I'm not sure, but I think Emil was German by birth but went to live in Austria with his aunt - he was certainly there in 1936 and in one of my recalls I saw an outdoor rally, which I attended very enthusiastically! You get such explicit recall Gumby, my 'memories' are very disjointed and sometimes, I have just a sort of feeling, hard to define about a place or situation and yes, that hall or perhaps one like it, evokes a feeling of boredom. I don't think I was as wised up as Katy though, I fell for it all, I don't think I ever saw past the facade of those leaders. I daresay had you been older, you might have joined something like the White rose movement, if you'd been old enough to articulate those feelings of unease and realize it was because the politics was so cold and inhumane at its very core. They were good liars and good spin doctors and Goebbels of course was a master of media manipulation, a real Rupert Murdoch of his day.
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Post by gumby on Nov 26, 2012 21:22:37 GMT -5
I am sure that Austria had many similar halls lizzie. Many of the Opera Halls were designed in this fashion. I may have been in some of them, having spent a good part of the war in Vienna. Yes, I think that the Nazi functions in the Opera Halls were more structured and formal than the rallies at Nurenberg. Yet even here the Nazi party held a certain sway and control over the audience. I was only 18 when I attended this function in 1943. By then my views of the Nazis and their war campaigns was turning sour, as I had experienced the bombings of our cities, the death and destruction firsthand, and I had seen our wounded soldiers in the hospitals of Vienna, their numbers ever increasing as the Eastern front collapsed. The discontent was growing among the masses, yet most of us remained loyal to the cause, a willingness to fight to the bitter end. Of course by this time the integrity of our homeland was at stake. We knew that the war was going badly for us.
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Post by gumby on Jan 21, 2013 23:11:41 GMT -5
content may be disturbing to others!
When I was young I saw BDM as a way to get away from emotional trauma. I loved my home life, and I loved my parents and grandparents. But I did not love school after what happeed there. I had many friends there, many whom I knew in our BDM unit, but something happened when I was about 14 which hurt me in a most terribble way. This took place in the Headmaster's office. He called me in there over some minor offense, and he took advantage of me there. I can still see him sitting there behind a long wood desk with the high pane glass windows in the background, and along all the other walls were bookshelves, all stuffed with old books. There was a long wooden table off to one side, and this is where he sexually abused me. I was laying there looking up at all of the books on the long rows of shelves, as he stole away my innocence. The box of tissues were there for him , of course he did not want me to get pregnant! How many times did this happen, and how many other girls did this happen to? I grew to hate that despicable man, and I wanted to get away from him as much as possible. I never told anyone, for fear of what might happen to me, or what he would do to my academic standing. It was at this time that I became very active in BDM, my interest waned away from school. In BDM our leaders were women whom I looked up to and respected. I could learn skills and work my way up to leadership roles, and serve my country as a productive worker. But more than anything else, I could get away from that horrible Headmaster, and set my life in a new direction. All of my hopes, dreams, and ambitions were now being met in my membership in BDM. I felt free and empowered, whereas in school it was just the opposite. So this is what drove me more than anything in those days, my need for a new me, an opportunity to advance myself outside of the oppressive school environment. I once loved school, but after that abuse that I had to endure there in the Headmasters office, it was never quite the same. I worked hard in BDM to accomplish all of the demands set upon me. And I succeeded.
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Post by Demi on Jan 22, 2013 12:36:03 GMT -5
Ah, what a pig! Were you able to tell your parents? I certainly do think there were positive aspects in the youth organizations. I'm not able to comment from a girl's point of view, but I think a lot of kids who got active in the groups were "getting away" from something back home, whether it's abuse, frustration or the need to belong in a group, be a part of something, be important, and look into a brighter future. And it's the same thing we see today with youth forming into different groups. Except maybe there was a bit more focus back then? Compared to punks, I suppose. I really relate to what you say, being 14 everything was going bad in my life and the club we had keep me going and believing in a better future. And for some reason, we liked to hunt sexual perverts.
Back when I was 9, a friend and I had a sexual pervert arrested. We met him at a swimming pool, he was trying to touch us and stuff. When we left, he followed and went chasing us in a shopping center, trying to lure us into the basement where the toilets were. We told the cops and they told us how to put a trap up on him so we did that, and they were down there waiting for him!
All the best, Demi
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Post by Leutnantzursee on Jan 22, 2013 19:30:44 GMT -5
Hi Gumby Unfortunately as modern events are confirming (like the Jimmy Saville child abuse cases) this sort of thing got 'swept under the carpet' all too often in those days :-( That must have been a shocking memory Gumby, but in a way I find myself not surprised. My mother (who grew up in the 40's) experienced some awful situations like this, which I won't elaborate upon to respect her privacy, but suffice to say they weren't a million miles away from the event you describe. Today of course children are more savvy about these things and because they seem to be (sadly) more sexually precocious than previous generations, they are more able to get help if faced with any kind of abuse. Rape and abuse traumatize a soul without a doubt, and maybe this memory surfaced because you need to deal with the pain that has lain hidden for so long. I wonder if the headmaster has come back, and if so, he may well be the victim of child abuse in a new life. Sadly I believe, such actions come back to haunt perpetrators, perhaps in ways we don't understand and taking such actions upon the innocent, hurts the perpetrator at a soul level too (as all us ex Nazis can testify). I hope for both of you, that you find peace over this issue, it might be worth doing a bit of meditation on this and see how you can deal with this horrible revelation. So sorry to hear about this hon, and as I say, not surprised knowing what I know about my own mum :-( Liz
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Post by gumby on Jan 23, 2013 0:09:40 GMT -5
Thank you lizzie and Demi for your kind words, I think that that event from my PL did leave a scar and I wish that it would go away, but I really must face this. I had remembered this about a year ago, when I was resting on the couch, then it suddenly flashed before me so vivid. Actually I was trying to remember more about my past life as Katie and school, what it was like, the building especially, because I was trying to find a picture of the school. I started seeing more details of the school, what it looked like, then suddenly this horrible event surfaced. I have wanted to tell someone, but I felt embarrased to do so. I have a feeling that when I was Katie I did not tell my family, I must have felt trapped, not being able to tell anyone. I think that by sharing that here it has helped tremendously, it is like a big weight off my shoulders. I am glad that you got the pervert arrested, Demi. You have helped to protect many other children from him. I really fear for my own children to go out of the house at times, when I see these strange people walking in our area. It is a dangerous world out there, you have to be on constant guard against predators. I am sorry to hear about your mum, Liz. It is a terrible thing to have experienced this, and like you say it was a hidden thing in those days, it was not exposed like it is today, abuse was not something one talked about back then, it was not supposed to happen in respectable circles and yet it did more often than we'd like to admit. I know that you try to bury that awful memory deep inside, and the need to go on despite the hurt. I am glad that today these perverts are being caught and punished.
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Post by Leutnantzursee on Jan 24, 2013 22:15:37 GMT -5
It's really good to hear that sharing this has helped Gumby :-) Its the same for a lot of victims of abuse, the weight of carrying this terrible 'secret' about for years can be crippling, and as you say, it really was never discussed in those days. The best advice my mum got, was to 'not talk to strange men' but her abuse was by a family member and an old boss when she was in her late teens. So much for 'strangers' being dangerous! It was the same for Katy, a trusted adult abused her innocence, there's nothing worse, quite frankly :-( Sending you healing and love, abuse is coming up for me too and for others right now. You're certainly not alone hon
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Post by Laurasia on Jan 30, 2013 13:09:10 GMT -5
Hi Gumby. I am so sorry that you've had to recall such a traumatic event, but I am glad that you felt comfortable enough to share that with all of us & that it has been a help to you. I have survived a sexual assault, an attempted sexual assault, & terrible childhood abuse (including incestuous molestation) in this lifetime, so I know very well the type of hurt & damage that these things do. Talking about it & never bottling it inside, are the absolute best things that you can do to heal. And try not to let the memories of this assault cause you to become overly paranoid. Yes the world can be a dangerous place, but unfortunately this type of abuse often comes at the hands of someone that is known & not a stranger. Take some time for yourself, hon. You need to allow yourself to grieve for Katie's lost innocence & start the process of healing your soul from the incurred damage. If you ever need or wnat to speak privately feel free to PM me anytime. Sincerely, Laurasia
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Post by msmir on Jan 30, 2013 21:56:24 GMT -5
Thanks for sharing Gumby. I cannot say I can relate in that way but I hope you are feeling somewhat relieved to get it out in the open. Keeping things like this inside is going to cause more stress and plenty of other negative feelings. You are not alone.
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Post by gumby on Jan 31, 2013 0:40:19 GMT -5
Thanks you are all so wonderful and helpful, it lifts a huge weight from my chest and helps to bring resolution : )
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