One of my own memories.

[Laurasia]

~hugs Private Tucker & Lulz~

This is exactly what we are here on this forum for...breaching the distrust & residual anger between all of us. I can't tell you how happy seeing your post made me, Tucker.

Sincerely,
Laurasia

[privatetucker]

Aug 17, 2010 14:42:13 GMT -5 lulz said:

Not sure who your gut feeling tells you I was, but perhaps you're right. I have yet to come out and tell anyone a name publicly, although a few members know.
I did a lot of horrible things in that life that I justified in mind and therefore did not regret. There were other times when I could feel, not sure how to put it into words, I guess the reality of what I was doing to someone, and I felt bad. I tried to do kind things for the prisoners at times, but there were just things I knew "had" to be done, wrong or not. I was, by nature, a fairly soft-hearted person. I just tried not to let it show out of fear of loosing respect.

Huh. Something else I would not have expected- motivation behind some of it because of fear of losing respect.

...Did that sentence make sense? I'm not sure it did.

Who was he trying to impress, if you don't mind me asking? Like, someone really high up in the hierarchy?

Laurasia: Um, glad to be of service? XD

[lulz]

It wasn't a specific person or anything like that. I wanted to earn respect from my superiors. I wanted taken seriously.

[euskanoravian]

Aug 19, 2010 8:21:54 GMT -5 lulz said:

It wasn't a specific person or anything like that. I wanted to earn respect from my superiors. I wanted taken seriously.

That was one of the reasons I joined the Nazi party to begin with, in my last life. I also did it because a part of me hoped that it would bring all of the relief possible since we were suffering economically, like the vast majority of others. Mainly, I joined to gain acceptance since I really had no mind of my own. I had terrible low self esteem. I craved to be a somebody. This was even before it became legal in Austria. This was until I was pushed to once and for all express it, which was how much I had hated the Fuhrer, the other Nazis and how I really was not antisemitic. That had gotten me killed anyway- Thank goodness. I wanted out of that life after seeing how downhill things were going.

Blessed Be,
Andi

[Laurasia]

I think that was the motivation for most of us joining the SS (as well as being the motivation for many other acts later on in life)....wanting to belong & to be respected as a man. I remember being so thoroughly proud when I had finally been able to join the SS. After all, they were the "elite of the elite".

Sincerely,
Laurasia

[euskanoravian]

Joining the Nazi party and SS momentarily fed my ego. Especially since it was illegal. Overall I was quite disgusted though. Especially later on when I saw how downhill things were becoming.

Blessed Be,
Andi

[lulz]

A few nights ago, I dreamt about my childhood as Josef. I'm not quite sure where we were at, maybe somebody's home. I was with one of my brothers, at least that's who I feel it was with me. We had snuck away from our parents, and were sitting at the foot of the stairs to what appeared to be a cellar. We had gotten ahold of some bottles of alcohol, and were playing with them, spinning them on th ground and poking each other with them. I wasn't very close with my brother, however, at that time, I felt a sort of bond and friendship with him.
I'm not sure the purpose of this memory, but I'm glad I had this one.

[sweetlunapie]

To the comments about motivation in joining the SS: You guys had a lot a more respectful motivation than my husband did in that life. Günther just wanted to kill people (at first, anyway).
What can I say? He was my little psycho.

Lulz, you must have desired to advance the medical field greatly. The Nazis saw their situation as a very big opportunity to discover new medical procedures, from what I gather.

[lulz]

I did really want to discover something big. A dream of nine was to have my discoveries recognized. I wanted to be able to see my name in books and such, giving me credit for something I'd done. I made history, but in the wrong way.

[sweetlunapie]

I think we're all here because the entire Axis made history the wrong way.

Do you want to go into medicine again?

[Laurasia]

Don't you love when you get those little tidbits of your "normal life", Lulz? I'm glad that you were able to have one. I know from personal experience that they are too few, far, & in-between the typical recollections from our Nazi lifetimes.

And yes, good question Luna! Are you studying within the medical field in this lifetime again Lulz? I know that I had a very strong draw towards the medical field when I was younger; but that was from my lifetime as a Civil War surgeon.

Sincerely,
Laurasia

[euskanoravian]

Lulz, you said your name was Josef and you were heavily involved in the medical experimentation. Were you who I am thinking? I am not judging by any means. In fact, I am now awfully curious. I have so many questions to ask you, if you don't mind. And don't worry. I am not going to bombard you with a million at once.

Blessed Be,
Andi

[lulz]

I am currently working on a degree in psychology. I plan to take this and so psychological research as my career, so I am technically going into medicine again. I'm quite interested in both genetic and environmental causes behind certain disorders. My interests lie in a very similar area for sure.

Andi, I can't be sure I was who you think, but you're probably correct. You can ask anything you'd like.

[sweetlunapie]

You can definitely do psychological basic research without having to go into medical stuff, but going into medical school can get you lots of money.

Just a bit of advice, go straight to graduate school. A B.S. or B.A. in psychology doesn't really help you get a job, unless you magically have years of work experience. Employers who don't require degrees (meaning custom service, even) rarely hire people with degrees because they're afraid you'll leave too soon, and all of the REALLY good jobs in psychology usually require a graduate degree and/or previous work experience. So please save yourself the trouble and go straight to graduate school.

[lulz]

I plan on going through medical school. I don't want a bad job in the field. I should have been more specific. I hate typing long things on this stupid phone. My internet hasn't been working in awhile.