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Post by Leutnantzursee on Jul 2, 2012 12:18:38 GMT -5
Well that's weird I should pick up on the forest like that, maybe I was tuning into you!  Actually, that pine forest thing has always given me the creeps, there was a TV show here in England about the French resistance when I was a kid in the 70's, it had this opening sequence with this tree-lined path in a pine woods and it used to freak me out a little! Yes, I agree that if a person wants to move on because of severe pain, that's their choice. You know helping people cross over is a bit like being a midwife I think, except in reverse. My Friend who worked a lot in care homes used to consider it a real privilege to be able to assist with old people dying, she used to sense all their dead loved ones in the room and a huge feeling of peace would settle there, she was really moved by it. She even had to lay out an old lady before the undertakers came for her. She's another with Nazi/Holocaust PL memories, so I wonder if this is another theme? Yes, hopefully we'll have our computer back soon and I can write you properly, thanks for your messages though hon, indeed, speak soon...  |
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Post by amaraeon on Jul 2, 2012 12:57:21 GMT -5
I recognized the horses as being from Treblinka - at least one of the people in the picture is Kurt Franz who was later put in charge of Treblinka. The one on the far left if I know him like I think I do, he always had that cocky way of holding himself. I think I went out riding with him only once or twice - his was the chestnut. I used to have one that was a lighter brown ( almost a light chestnut with matching mane) on the days I did ride. Poor thing, sort of skittish, an okay jumper. Anyway...to get back on track. That's why I asked. I'm still trying to figure out if I was the one in the background looking all ponderous. I've not a clue though. www.deathcamps.org/treblinka/perpetrators.htmlHas officer / role list as well as brief descriptions of notable people. I'll try to find out some more sites later - I know there are some. |
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Post by gerhardt on Jul 2, 2012 16:34:23 GMT -5
Amaraeon,
Yes, we can definitely place Franz in the photograph. Thank you for the link-I actually came across that one a few nights ago, but I could not with any degree of certitude place myself among the roster listed. Perhaps one of the fellows who's names have been forgotten, or another, unlisted man all together. This name, "Gerhardt" is what is slowing my search. There's very little instance of this name in the Reich-once in a while it is a surname, only twice I have seen it as a Christian name. Perhaps it was a middle name, in my case? I remember it clearly, but I cannot find anything among lists of perpetrators that verifies it. Once I do, I will be so much closer.
I'd love to see any other sites that you might come across. Thanks for your help and confirmations!
Lizzie: Yes, that's pretty strange indeed. I do agree with the midewife perspective, though. I think that would be a serious and honorable duty.
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Post by gerhardt on Jul 2, 2012 17:22:04 GMT -5
I've been doing some thinking. I know that Belzec, Treblinka, and Sobibor were all part of a system in that area of the Reich. Laurasia once suggested the name of Gerhardt Borner, who was involved not with Treblinka but with Sobibor (although most men from one worked in some capacity in the other). I had come across the name before she mentioned it, and had quickly discounted it. Now, however, I'm beginning to question that.
I initially decided that I had not been Herr Borner because he was sent to Italy after his work in the camps. I don't remember ever having been in Italy in that time, but I suppose that does not mean much. The listing on the Sobibor Perpetrators page indicates that not much is known about Borner's life, so there's not much to dig the teeth into. But it is certainly a possibility...
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Post by amaraeon on Jul 2, 2012 23:48:20 GMT -5
Hm. Most of the extermination camps were done along the same lines, so it's not impossible to see one and mistake it for another - especially if all you see are the barracks and buildings and not the surrounding countryside.
Finding names is hard work. And yeah, no one has birth/ death dates on me either, no pictures, no transfer outside of that particular camp system - which means verifying my memories of SK-4a is a real pain in the butt.
Back on track. We do sometimes overlook key evidence in our PL searches. I only found out I'd been stationed at Sonnenstein, and Belzec after finding my name on the Treblinka roster listing me as having been there too; which also explains why some of the Treblinka staff knew me the second I arrived - we'd worked together before. I also thought my last name started with an S - not a Z.
Just keep at it and it will start to come along, and don't get discouraged as most of us have to backtrack at some point or another.
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Post by gerhardt on Jul 4, 2012 5:05:39 GMT -5
Thanks, Amaraeon.
Talking to my mom late last night-she is also of that time, although she was not SS-helped to validate something from that dream of "the blessed event." She reminded me that at Sobibor the path to the gas chamber was called "Himmelstrasse," -the Road to Heaven. She suggested that my dream mind's, or my former mind's phrase "the blessed event" sounds alot like the sarcasm I might use to get through dark days and my self appointed duty.
She, who was on the "right" side of that time, continues to help me forgive myself, and to find the answers. More evidence towards Sobibor everyday.
I do speak fairly frequently of my mother here. She was always the great force of love in my life. Even though we live a hundred miles apart now that I am an adult, we are always so in synch. As I was dreaming of taking Jews to their death, that very night she was dreaming of liberating them with home made weapons and a stolen officer's gun. Looks like she might have been in the Sobibor-Treblinka world as well. And we speak to each other without judgement or malice. We speak to each other as we are, two souls trying to put that time to right.
Forgive my poor syntax. I'm up way too early after a night of wine and poor sleep.
G.
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Post by amaraeon on Jul 4, 2012 17:14:21 GMT -5
Euphemisms were very common back in those days, not only to keep our sanity but also to hide what we were really talking about from prying ears. And I'm glad you have a good support system to speak with these things about; it really does help the process.
I'd help with Sobibor but I really don't know much about it.
(sleep? what's that?)
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Post by Leutnantzursee on Jul 4, 2012 23:21:28 GMT -5
I don't know if I can shed any light on the name 'Gerhardt' difficulty, but here goes. I have something similar with 'Emil' insomuch as I don't think it was my given name, I think it was my family name, probably one of my many baptism names. From doing family research, I know from my own German ancestors that they gave children a LOT of names! I don't know if it was a common practise to use one of your middle names back then to friends and family, might be something I could check out with my German genealogist friend? I know when I found a 'Peter' Hennings on the Scharnhorst crew list that I might be onto something, Peter being the name I dreamed of, if you remember my own thread? His birth year fitted the one I gave during my regression, but other than that, I can't prove that this is the man I was, even though its the same surname, and a lot does add up. But that's just because I haven't researched it further and it would be near to impossible I think to do that, what would clinch it of course would be to find if this man was born in Austria. So you see, you have to work through the little clues you have, and you have a lot more than I do!  It's possible Gerhardt had a more official title, so I'd say the surname is the one to try and retrieve. I know you're a bit suspicious of hypnosis (and I don't blame you) but if you do one of the self hypnosis tapes, they don't plant things in your head, they only ask you to recount very specific things like names and dates. I found it a mine of information, I even gave the place of my death as Trondheim, which is in the North Atlantic and pretty much where the Scharnhorst and Gneisenau were sunk. Maybe doing some kind of regression or even a deep meditation where you ask to recall your PL name, would be a big step in pinpointing exactly who you were. Just my two penneth for what its worth! |
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Post by Laurasia on Jul 5, 2012 18:14:22 GMT -5
Hello Amaraeon. I just wanted to interject that I'm not surprised that you were stumped by the "S" & "Z" aspect of your surname. This is because in German "Z" is pronounced "S". So if you had come to believe that your surname began with an "S" based upon hearing it in a recollection it would have started with an "S" sound.  Gerhardt, It could be possible that Gerhardt was your middle name & you preferred it to your first name...even though you would have had to use Gerhardt for any official documents. So that may be the issue for you in finding info on your past life self. I would suggest that you look more deeply into Gerhardt Borner though, if only to rule him out. Sincerely, Laurasia |
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Post by gerhardt on Jul 8, 2012 20:59:42 GMT -5
Thank you all, for the good advice. I have really come to lean on your words and ideas, and to be so very thankful for everyone's kindness.
Laurasia, I must admit that when I carefully studied Borner's face, I got a strong chill all over me. I WILL continue to research him, insomuch as that is possible. So little is known of him, but I'm sure that I can dig up a few more pieces of information that might be of importance. He's definitely a leading choice. Thanks again.
Good evening, all.
Gerhardt
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Post by Miss Bothmann on Jul 19, 2012 14:50:08 GMT -5
Hello gerhardt: I am sorry that I haven't replied in this thread before now, but I have not been online in forever.  Laurasia has told me about you though, and said that you were another "camp man" that she could relate to. Obviously, I (as Anna) was not in the camp system, and Hans never spoke about it (for obvious reasons). However, in the life, reading about everything that not only the prisoners, but you guys as well went through...it truly is heartbreaking. Clearly, there is much healing going on in this incarnation, and that is a really beautiful thing. I do thank you for sharing so much of your PL memories with us as I know that it is very painful to have to sort through and relate to others. *hugs* I wish you much luck and peace as you continue in your journey to the discovery of your PL. |
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Post by gerhardt on Aug 10, 2012 11:15:41 GMT -5
Miss Bothmann,
Thanks for your sweet little note. It's so touching, here, how everyone is helping everyone else forgive and evolve.
Your experience as Anna, sort of knowing but not really, about Hans' activities and the direction of the war in general must have made for an incredible life.
Best wishes,
G
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Post by Demi on Sept 4, 2013 23:01:24 GMT -5
I just wanted to interject that I'm not surprised that you were stumped by the "S" & "Z" aspect of your surname. This is because in German "Z" is pronounced "S". So if you had come to believe that your surname began with an "S" based upon hearing it in a recollection it would have started with an "S" sound. OH, thanks, I love it how I mis-spell my own name, FRITSI, but I almost made it a "trademark" of that! If he was at Herzogenbosch, I found out in Holland they spell it "Frits", and some other countries too, not that he was Dutch, but maybe it percolated..  Also some mentioning of the art of burning corpses in this thread. Well, that reminded me (my friend almost threw up her coffee, so - DISTURBING CONTENT) I was having visions of me standing in between two other men, one of them is a supervisor, I really want to turn around and leave, but also don't want to lose face with my superior so I keep standing against my will. We are standing in the forest in some distance from the fire pits, can't see what's inside, some people are pouring gasoline in the holes, I can see the edges are charred and burned as if there was a large fire which has been above the top and burned all the grass around. In some other scene I am standing in the shower and trying to wash and scrub some bad smell off my hair and skin... feeling besides of myself like I don't wanna talk with ANYBODY! All the best, Demi |
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Post by Laurasia on Sept 14, 2013 12:07:47 GMT -5
Hi Demi. Sorry it took me so long to reply, but Miss Bothmann & I were on vacation.  Oh yes, you do spell it differently than I had expected. I always spell "Fritsi" with a z. It certainly does sound like you may have been out in the field near the Einsatzgruppen units. But that also doesn't neccessarily mean that you were actually a member of one of the Einsatz units. The Einsatz were the "sweepers" that followed behind the regular army & the Waffen-SS. So many of the "regular soldiers" were able to see what was going on as well...especially from "across the way". Sincerely, Laurasia |
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Post by Demi on Sept 15, 2013 21:24:37 GMT -5
Hi Laurasia, I hope you had a great time I think I spell it that way, because I had a dream/vision of being a kid and my parents shouting "Fritsi", and wrote it down like that... and so it stayed that way, even though I later found out, his name was Fritz! And now I sort of don't know what to do! ;D He transferred to the Waffen-SS in the east at some point in I believe, 1944, (found him there in the records, too. I have no records on where he was just before that, but the division as such was formed in 1943, and the it's history matched my version). So you are right, he could have seen things, in the experience I had a feeling of "visiting" the scene. All the best Demi |
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Actually, that pine forest thing has always given me the creeps, there was a TV show here in England about the French resistance when I was a kid in the 70's, it had this opening sequence with this tree-lined path in a pine woods and it used to freak me out a little! Yes, I agree that if a person wants to move on because of severe pain, that's their choice. You know helping people cross over is a bit like being a midwife I think, except in reverse. My Friend who worked a lot in care homes used to consider it a real privilege to be able to assist with old people dying, she used to sense all their dead loved ones in the room and a huge feeling of peace would settle there, she was really moved by it. She even had to lay out an old lady before the undertakers came for her. She's another with Nazi/Holocaust PL memories, so I wonder if this is another theme?
It's possible Gerhardt had a more official title, so I'd say the surname is the one to try and retrieve. I know you're a bit suspicious of hypnosis (and I don't blame you) but if you do one of the self hypnosis tapes, they don't plant things in your head, they only ask you to recount very specific things like names and dates. I found it a mine of information, I even gave the place of my death as Trondheim, which is in the North Atlantic and pretty much where the Scharnhorst and Gneisenau were sunk. Maybe doing some kind of regression or even a deep meditation where you ask to recall your PL name, would be a big step in pinpointing exactly who you were. Just my two penneth for what its worth! 
Laurasia has told me about you though, and said that you were another "camp man" that she could relate to. Obviously, I (as Anna) was not in the camp system, and Hans never spoke about it (for obvious reasons). However, in the life, reading about everything that not only the prisoners, but you guys as well went through...it truly is heartbreaking. Clearly, there is much healing going on in this incarnation, and that is a really beautiful thing. I do thank you for sharing so much of your PL memories with us as I know that it is very painful to have to sort through and relate to others. *hugs* I wish you much luck and peace as you continue in your journey to the discovery of your PL.
