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Post by wikkanman on Dec 10, 2011 15:38:13 GMT -5
I just found this site and feel happy to have found somewhere where i can share my story...i have, for a long time thought that my last life was spent out in the frozen hell of the russian front in world war 2. its almost like i can close my eyes and see it...i believe i was young and brave and naive, but that over time i grew bitter and war weary, as me and my comrades got ground down by the hell we were in. i believe i killed many, and was , in the end, killed myself, its as if part of my spirit still walks the steppes because what we did out there, was so dark and harsh, that we had no light to go to...so glad to have found this place , i am forty next month, and want to move on, as for a long time i have felt tlike the karma from last life has affected this one...i seek peace i guess...
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Post by ignotus on Dec 10, 2011 16:13:29 GMT -5
Hello and welcome to the forum!
My name is ignotus! (I think you can see that..)
I was a Waffen-SS who died in the Eastern Front. My name was Hansgeorg Schulze. Nice to meet you! I'm seeking peace as well.
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Iseke
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Post by Iseke on Dec 10, 2011 17:22:06 GMT -5
Nice to meet you!
I struggle with some of those things as well and really hope we can all find peace. I look forward to seeing you around the forum!
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Post by wikkanman on Dec 11, 2011 11:19:22 GMT -5
thankyou for the welcome and the kind words....much appreciated, i totally identify with the 'soul fragments' SS3 and its time to bring them home....i am arranging an appointment with a shamanic healer on my birthday (11th jan) to help all this along....i will let u know how it goes...i had a life in world war one too so hopped from one war to the next! i wondered whether this was a karmic link with the germans i had killed in WW1 to incarnate next as a german and follow so many other youths to the war in russia? great site this, what a find!
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Post by wikkanman on Dec 11, 2011 11:25:55 GMT -5
oh and before i forget in my l;ast job i worked very closely with a man that i found it a real strain to get along with, i sort of liked him but just found there was something 'heavy' there between us, some sort of blockage that wasn't what i usually encounter with people...one day, as we slept in the van for lunch, i had a sudden vision of a great pit of dead people in and knew this was connected to the war/russia/jews...and felt one of these dead was him! he had an interest in russia and the war too! i felt that in some ways we came to realise a few things but when i left the job, still felt there was some sort of unspoken wound between us from the past. i keep in touch with him from time to time.....interesting...
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Post by Leutnantzursee on Dec 11, 2011 23:47:30 GMT -5
Hello Wikkanman and welcome:-)
I was in the Kreigsmarines and died possibly out in the North Atlantic, I also hate the cold and damp! I can completely relate to what you say about 'war hopping' my life before was on the Allied side as a V.A.D in France, I was also Jewish - there's irony for you! It is a difficult and painful journey to make, but folks here are great and we all seem to share so many characteristics in our suffering and fears, brought over from WW2, which ever side we fought on. When I was very small I used to dream about skeletons and corpses too, terrible nightmares for years, in fact I used to have a phobia about bones, not so now, quite the reverse in fact! I'm 45, welcome to the club, not always the easiest decade, but a time of maturing and refining things:-) I hope you enjoy your time here:-)
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Post by wikkanman on Dec 12, 2011 8:59:36 GMT -5
well my job now is a crematorium technician......i guess this sounds unbelievable after what i have posted but i would not describe myself as macabre, rather i am working in a place where the disposal of the dead can be done in a dignified manner....quite unlike the majority of our experiences in world war two!
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Post by Laurasia on Dec 12, 2011 14:24:31 GMT -5
Hello Wikkanman. Welcome to the forum. We are certainly glad that you have found us as well!  Thank you for sharing so much about yourself already. I certainly do look forward to hearing more from you. I absolutely understand about soul fragments too. I am sure that I left a part of myself wandering around a field in Poland somewhere.  And please do let us all know how things go with the shaman. Shamanic healing is a course of action that I have also seriously considered trying in the past.  So you are working in a crematoria now? I can certainly understand what you mean about being healing for you to help with disposing of bodies in a dignified way now, but I still don't know if I would be able to handle such a job myself after having lived Hans' life. I have too many issues over what was done & how it was done back then. At least at this point anyway. LOL! And don't worry....you're not alone in having interests that the majority of others might find "strange" or "macabre". Well I hope that you enjoy yourself here with us. Should you ever have any questions or concerns feel free to PM either myself or our Global Moderator Msmir. Sincerely, Laurasia |
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Post by Miss Bothmann on Jan 18, 2012 15:34:27 GMT -5
Welcome to the site wikkanman.  I hope that your session with the shamanic healer went well because I hear it is escellent for soul loss/retrieval. I look forward to hearing more of your recollections. |
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Post by kangarus on Apr 27, 2012 12:29:13 GMT -5
Hello Wikkanman, the nick's Kangarus - I preferred to use a name referencing my present lifetime (I am Australian). I've always had the opposite feeling. I like the colder (temperate) weather and find alpine and Scandinavian landscapes beautiful, it's the heat I can't stand - I adjust more slowly to summer here than winter. I was in the Heer, in Libya, Rommel was the general I served under. Quite obviously I spent part of my tour of duty in the Afrikakorps. It was about the time the Rats of Tobruk turned up - ironic given my current incarnation was born in Melbourne, Australia, as the direct descendant of an ANZAC who served in Kokoda no less. Hated the stifling heat then, hate it now. Good thing I - that is, my current incarnation - lives in a relatively temperate region of Australia considering (Gippsland district, Victoria, Australia) where there are relatively cool if damp winters  |
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Post by stormflux on Oct 14, 2012 18:00:10 GMT -5
Greetings Wikk. I think we all seek peace, regardless which "end of things" we are on. War is harsh and the terror will stick with you for lifetimes - I still have nightmares about the Eastern front. In the end no matter who or what we fought for, we were all soldiers, and that makes us brother's who share in an experience that is the nightmare of man. I guess what I am saying is that you could have said you were a Russian soldier, and I would still offer this next statement.
If you ever need someone to talk to who was there, feel free to private message me, or whatever would make you comfortable. I am a firm believer in veterans offering their shoulders to others. Even if we aren't soldiers in this life but veterans from the past.
If not, sometimes it helps just to know that someone is there should you need them. I owe the men who served that much, if not more, as far as I'm concerned.
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Post by Leutnantzursee on Oct 14, 2012 19:18:11 GMT -5
That's a beautiful sentiment stormflux - and yes, many of us feel a great sense of devotion to each other as fellow veterans. We did undergo a unique experience and only those who had lived through a war (albeit in a past life) can relate to the trauma it causes. I too, feel very moved by anything that honours vets from any war and on any side - to give up your life-blood for a cause or your country, even if you didn't agree wholeheartedly with it (as many Wehrmacht didn't) is a unique and often troubling experience, which no one else could relate to. :-)
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Post by Laurasia on Oct 17, 2012 9:56:38 GMT -5
Hello Stormflux. Oh I think that you & I are going to get along quite well. Sincerely, Laurasia |
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maxie
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Post by maxie on Oct 17, 2012 14:14:04 GMT -5
I too, served at one point on the Eastern Front, and most of those memories are cold, and brutal. I've only a few that are warm, and I mean that both literally and figuratively. I'm certain I also ended up being killed there too. Interestingly enough I don't hate the cold, I prefer it over being in the heat.
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Post by stormflux on Oct 17, 2012 14:20:57 GMT -5
Oh I think that you & I are going to get along quite well. I certainly hope so. Lizzie, it certainly is a unique experience. Whether we agreed with all, some, or none of what the Reich stood for, we were upholding an oath to support it or die. I've tried having generalized conversations with veterans this life, about what war feels like, during and after. I make it sound like it isn't personal or myself I an talking about, obviously. But that only helps with so much. Americans "won." They don't know what its like to go through hell and lose. If there were any confederate vets left then I could relate, but there aren't. I think that is what makes the German soldier's experience unique. Twice in a row you fought and failed. You were demonized no matter what you did. German = Satan's mercenaries, and there ain't no rest for the wicked. For those who lived, there was no healing in the years after war. Hell, directly after was the Wall and fragmentation of Germany. I think by the end, most of us were miserable. Of course we were going to try to come back, if we could! My spiritual mission is to help people with a Nazi past heal in some way, as I wish I could have then. And honestly, even with that, I don't feel like I'm doing enough. |
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And please do let us all know how things go with the shaman. Shamanic healing is a course of action that I have also seriously considered trying in the past. 
I hope that your session with the shamanic healer went well because I hear it is escellent for soul loss/retrieval. I look forward to hearing more of your recollections. 
