Introduction

[painter]

Hello everybody,

I've finally taken the decision to share my story here with you, after many months of just reading posts as a guest.

First, I would like to say that I really appreciate the atmosphere on this forum. The friendliness, understanding, sharing and caring help enormously towards reconciliation and healing, not in the least because I was a nazi in my last life. Took me some time to come to an understanding of that and stop blaming myself. But reading all your input here helped me doing that.

What makes my story maybe a bit different from most of you, is that I do not have own memories of my past lives. They are being told to me by friends who I (apparently) have known for many lifetimes. (Friends who are special and do have the ability to see their own and others past lives) Being told I was in SS in a concentration camp and killed many in a horrible way, many who now are my best friends, was not easy to recover from or give a place in my current life.

It's funny, but even though I'm being told this, I recognize that it's true, on some level. It's just a feeling that connects with something inside myself.

I've had one image of myself in that lifetime and one series of images of another lifetime which I recollected when I was at a hypnotherapist, specializing in regression to past lives.

My investigation is now focussed on how I can heal the hurt I have caused, for that's one of the reasons I am here again. And secondly in understanding why I (or the person that my soul inhabited in in WW2) ever did these horrible things. In order to understand myself better. It's one thing to just be lured onto 'the bad side', but I must have been so horrible that I was killed, in the end, by one of my 'colleagues' and best friends.

Glad to part of the healing now!

Painter

[Storm]

Hi and welcome!

You will know deep inside if this past life is true. Sometimes we end up being reminded by others, or by events in general. But if what your friends alleged resonated at a deep level within you, then there is probably something in it. Finding out one killed people or was directly responsible for deaths in a past life is one of the hardest things to deal with. It must be especially true if one has killed the past lives of those we now hold dear. But this is not so very unusual. For those who kill us can often actually be souls who love us, even if it is at an unconscious level, and who are fulfilling some spiritual role. This does not mean people have a licence to kill or harm others using this concept as an excuse, of course. But in certain cases, according to my past life regression training, we find out in these present lifetimes that someone we either killed or who killed us in our past life is now someone we are very close to. I have a similar thing going on in my life.

[Demi]

Hi, and welcome,

First thing that comes to mind when I read this is that even thought your friends might be well meaning, it's a big thing to take on just because they tell you so. But if you do feel that it makes sense to you, as Storm mentioned, then the best thing (and only thing) you can do now is to make your current life be lived in most harmony and radiate this harmony to the environment (or at least, avoid radiating stress, if possible). We cannot change the past. We can change the present moment (and even that might take time). To answer the question why your past life did such and such, that could be because he did not know any better at the time. You most certainly do now, and it's important not to confuse yourself with him.
I want to mention that I have very "rational" and otherwise calm friends and relatives, who sometimes would react intensely to some of my experiences, recognizing and telling me that I killed them... and then I tell them: I am sorry, can you forgive me... and we hug.
It is even more difficult to reconcile this kind of thing with oneself but that what the process is about... I wish you all the best on the path to realizing your divine Self.

This might help.
Forgiveness Prayers by Howard Wills
www.howardwills.com/prayers

Demi

[painter]

Thank you Storm and Demi for Your welcoming and considerate words. I will definitely try your prayer suggestion, Demi!

It's just that I'm someone who needs to also understand these things. . I have no doubt about what my friends tell me, is real. They know. In a way it also makes sense. Though sometimes it's still difficult that some people, who remember me being horrible, have something against me, and I don't remember! It's good to show him I'm a different person now, also for him, to try and forgive.

I know I'm not the same person (thankfully!). But there sure will be something that I carry along from that time. Not only in emotions, but also in spiritual energy that hangs around me. I have so many questions! I have an idea about why I became so horrible. Something that happened to me and my friends in another lifetime, being burned for our beliefs.

Since I'm working with people that remember all these Things, to try and heal their trauma's which stem from other lives, with therapy (i'm a therapist) I came to understand that most decisions in live we make, which are 'bad', often have to do with trauma's from other lifetimes. As if you've decided not to be a victim once again and thus rather be a perpetrator, if you can choose in a certain situation. (And so I probably also had an issue with angermanagement, which I still do. Albeit in a lesser and less devastating form ).

I know going back to places where major things in past lifetimes have happened, can heal. And then one of my 'victims' suggests we should go to Bergen Belsen together! That's probably where it all took place. Anyone here who's been on such a 'healing' journey?

Thanks for listening!

[Demi]

Oh, wow, this brought chills down my spine. About being burned. I've always felt it happened to me, when I heard about witch burnings, it would make me scared, even when I was a kid.
Last year I had this PL experience. It came to me in three parts during deep meditation. While it could be posted on my thread, I will post it here since it somehow relates your experience.

While there is no way to know the absolute truth of how things work in the spiritual world, and I am not claiming to know for sure, I am offering to share my experience exactly how it came to me, with the intention to help and inspire.

The Judge

(Warning: Some graphic content)

Middle Ages, Europe: I see myself being burned as a witch. I am tied to a pole, around it the firewood is stacked. I'm in a medieval courtyard, there are people around me staring. I cry for help but they just keep staring. The man who condemned me is a judge. He has burned many women and he is going to do it to many others. I've been unjustly judged by him for witchcraft because I had been practicing something the church administrators did not like, even though to me it was just the traditional knowledge of my ancestors. As I am tied to the stack of wood, they put in on fire. The smoke from the high flames gets in my eyes and my lungs, I choke on it. It feels so hot. The fire burns me all over, gradually consuming me. In my lungs, it is worst. And people around just stare, pointing fingers.

WW2: I see myself in a brick building in the camp, in a room upstairs. The window is open, it is a hot summer day. One can hear voices outside, of people walking, yelling something in the distance. I've been called in to assist with an execution, but not a usual kind. This is some kind of experiment with electricity.
A prisoner is taken into the room, he wears striped clothing. He has a shaved head, brown eyes. He is quiet. Two men hold him on each side, up against the wall. They wear rubber gloves and rubber boots. At some point the prisoner looks at us, in a scared, pleading way. They rip off his jacket. I have an electric cord. One of the officers turns on a generator in the other room. It is noisy. I place the cord on the prisoner's chest. He stiffens, shaking, the men try to hold him, then they let go of him. He falls down on the floor, some of his muscles twitching. It smells a bit like something burned. He still moves, as if it did not completely work, so some of the other officers kick him all over, until he is dead, I think.

(I did some research on this to find out if experiments like this were ever done in camps. I found the answer is yes, but they were discontinued because "not being effective enough". I also found that electric shock works by cardiac arrest, so they were indeed placing the cord in the "correct" place.)

I see now that he is the same person that judge from a past life time. I then experience that his spirit comes forward and introduces himself. He says he is the judge who was executed that day, and gives me his description of the story and why he had taken on that incarnation. The spirit tells me this:

“I have been in the field of law for many lifetimes. I have been a judge several incarnations. I was dedicated to fight evil in the name of God. I have judged a lot of women to death, blaming them for witchcraft. In later incarnations, I was either an attorney or a judge. While my goals were noble, I was making decisions with my intellect only and not with my heart. My heart was cold and closed to God. My decisions weren't fair.
I chose the incarnation as a prisoner, because I wanted to experience how it feels to be unfairly judged, in order for my soul to evolve. First time it happened when I was arrested and taken into the camp. The second time it happened was when when I was sentenced to death within the camp, for doing something of very small importance. I believed I was going to be executed by shooting. But on the day of my execution, they were setting up some experiments with electricity. I was taken upstairs in the building and had the electric cord put to my chest. I knew I was going to die... In the moment they did it, it was a shock to my heart, I felt pain and I was shaking. With some part of my consciousness, as a result of this, first time in very long, I felt my heart very strongly. I felt only the pain there and I connected to God, with my heart. In the couple of minutes I was lying on the floor, an enormous shift happened. It was not in the plan to continue this incarnation. The lesson was learned. In another life time I would now be able to re-gain my ability to judge with my heart and God.”


I want to add from my other insights that this does not "justify" someone's harmful behavior. It is best to avoid "revenge", because one's evolution depends on one's own actions. The Universe is going to sort things out for the other person automatically, even if we refuse to "throw the ball back". Staying out of a bad cycle will help ourselves in the future. But we can only do so when we are aware of what is happening. In the past we might have been too influenced by the traumas we were carrying to be self-aware enough to change a pattern, or even know it was there.

All the best,
Demi

[painter]

That is an insightful story, Demi.

I especially like the part where your 'judge' says he was connecting to his heart again, and to God. That's something I'm being told too. That I should start connecting to my angel, my heart and God again. So I started meditating and trying to listen to my heart. I don't think I was/am a bad person without that connection. But I think it could help me overcome my feelings of loneliness, of depression and hopefully it will also help me in trusting that things will be allright, in the end, and that I don't need to feel so bad when people judge me without really seeing me. Which can make me angry. Emotions sometimes overwhelm me.

My question to you Demi: how did your PL feel when he was doing all these things to this 'judge'? Was there a sense of retribution, of justice being done? Or was there just horror?

In a way I am not sorry that I don't have my own memories (yet) from my PL, they could be horrofic, but on the other hand it might make some sense to me as to WHY things happened as they did. I don't believe in a karmic justice system, it doesn't make sense to me. Where would free will and endless, caring Love be? I think I myself am my worst 'judge'. At least I always find it easier to forgive others then to forgive myself...

[Demi]

Hi Painter,

Oh yes, absolutely, having own experiences can be a challenge due to the nature of these things, and then again this is how one receives those answers and insights. On one hand we need/want to learn the reasons behind things, on the other hand we are concerned with our relative sense of "self" - we are afraid of the idea of us being those negative roles in the past, and the sense of responsibility we attach to it... not some "bad" people but ourselves. That is a challenge for the ego, which of course comes from fear. And this can create a want/not want, insight, guilt, pain, denial, acceptance in the end- and the roller coaster over again, x squared amount of times, until acceptance becomes the dominating tendency over time.

For me the key is looking really deep into many possible factors to determine the underlying reasons for events, which seems to be a far stretching web across time. I am keeping myself grounded by meditation. The more you are grounded in the connection to your own Self, your absolute Being, the more are you able to handle in the "relative" world.

I don't think karma is punishment, but a law of physics which facilitates the fastest evolution of all souls, and which makes this physical universe orderly (sustainable) and functional. Souls choose certain karmic experiences from a big picture, but once we get here, we usually lose that kind of perception, and suffer due to not being able to see the deeper meaning - the "mistake of the intellect". If we knew ourselves as the Wholeness that we are, and that we are immortal, etc. there would be much less fear.

As to what my PL felt during the experience, he was not aware of the past life connections and such. Due to being in that place, the negative energies there, I'll say his perception was rather clouded; but when looking at it now I am able to see more depth behind the scenes.

I am also sensitive emotionally, sensory inputs, anger management issues, etc. I wonder if it has to do with these particular lifetimes. As an astrologer explained to me once is that we project onto others what we were doing to others in our past lives. The fear of being judged, social phobia, the fear that no one will help you so why even ask, etc. How we were treating others in PL's, our attitudes then, now creates a remnant impression and concern that this is how others are going to treat us. Whether they actually intend so, or not.

I hope some of what I said makes sense to you.

All the best,
Demi

[Laurasia]

Hello Painter.

Welcome to the forum. I hope that you find being here healing & beneficial for your journey. I am so sorry that I have not had a chance to greet you before now. I have had a ton of changes happening in my personal/spiritual life & those things have taken up the bulk of my time away from work.

I am grateful to hear that, after lingering & looking around, you have felt comfortable enough to share your story with all of us. And, yes, if you feel that what your friends are relaying to you is ringing true for your soul then go with it. I would advice hat you be VERY wary of being swayed by the power of suggestion though. My partner & I have also shared the vast majority (if not all) of our past lives alongside of each other in some way. Due to that fact if one of us recalls something of the other from a lifetime that the other one has not mentioned or knows little of, we keep it to ourselves until the other person recalls it for themselves so as to not create false memories for them due to suggestions.

As far as visiting any of the former camps for the purposes of healing, Storm has done this sort of thing quite a bit actually. She even took along an apologetic letter/prayer for healing that I wrote for some of my own former victims to a site with her once. So you would want to speak with her about the experiences of taking such trips.

If you have any questions or concerns feel free to PM either myself or one of our Moderators, Msmir & Lizzie66.

Sincerely,
Laurasia

[Miserere]

Hi there welcome and you're never alone in this, ever!

[Storm]

My theory is that many Nazis, SS in particular, were possibly witches in past lives. I certainly have always felt I was. I can "remember" the smell and feeling of myself burning. The way it was so hot it almost felt cold etc. I have done a lot of research into this, and it is documented that Himmler was highly interested in witches. In terms of healing journeys, feel free to pm me.

[Leutnantzursee]

Hi Painter and a very belated welcome to SR!
Some very interesting comments as always (reminds me how much I've missed you guys and the depth of feeling, warmth and understanding here ) It must be a strange experience to be 'told' who you were by friends, but as it resonates and makes sense to you, then you've clearly taken this on board and are working with it ) I can sympathize with the issue of those we wronged before and the need to make amends, something I can relate to strongly. The act of forgiveness from others is so profound and healing, even if it comes decades or even centuries later! Sadly many of the people I wronged in past lives, in this life have acted (although I think unknowingly) in either manipulative or cold and dismissive ways. I would love to get that hug of forgiveness from one of my past life 'victims' but sadly they are rarely forthcoming. I hope you enjoy your time here and a warm welcome once again!

Liz

[Demi]

Agreed Liz, it's the sweetest x-Nazis from all over the world who come on SR... I mean ur all sweet.