Leaving this forum

[helen]

Farewell and best wishes. Please delete my account.

[nomadicsoul]

Helen, I am so sorry to see you go. All the best on your journey.

[helen]

It is such a pity that people only see what they want to see...I stated million times, that no one is guilty in this word. Everyone is only responsible.

If you see villain outside yourself - then it is a reflection of some part of you. I don't want to regard somebody as a villain, I already grew up from it. It doesn't mean I justify abuse or incest.

I don't see a reason to react with aggression on such statement. I don't see a reason for aggresion at all.

That's all. That's my last post.

[nomadicsoul]

Okay, I don't know what's going on, I don't know who's accusing you of justifying those things. Have you tried speaking to a moderator or Laurasia about it, rather than just giving up on the entire forum? Not a question that begs an answer, just something to think about.

All the best,
Nomad

[helen]

It was Laurasia herself. I know it's not right - I always give up, when somebody pushes me away :-( I guess I am still in the victim mode. Still need to work on myself. Yes nobody is responsible for making me a victim, only me.

I am also a bit emotional now, but it doesn't matter anymore, I think.

[Laurasia]

Hello Helen.

If you truly want me to delete your account then I will. However, I think that all of this is simply coming from a misunderstanding/miscommunication.

All that I asked you to do was to make sure that you are expressing yourself more clearly. I understand that English may not be your first language & that may be where all of this is coming from. The way that you had worded yourself in your statements about victims of abuse & their perpetrators seemed to say that the perpetrators of abuse could possibly be excused because the victim must have done something in a former lifetime to deserve the abuse.

That is not a stance that is acceptable on this forum. And while I do not believe that is what you had meant to say, that is how it came out nonetheless. That is why I asked you to be careful in how you express yourself from now on. I was not trying to attack you or come across as aggressive. I was trying to explain to you how your words, as expressed, were being taken wrongly.

Sincerely,
Laurasia

[Leutnantzursee]

Hello Helen

Sorry, I'm really behind with posts unfortunately, so I'm not sure what transpired here. I'm sure no one meant any harm Helen and I'm sorry you have felt attacked. It may well be a matter of some kind of misunderstanding concerning your use of language and we certainly appreciate that English isn't your first language. If you feel uncomfortable, that's a shame as we aim to provide a nurturing environment for our members to express sometimes very difficult feelings.

However, the issue of 'blame' is something we try to be careful about as Laurasia has stressed, retribution too, as I don't think anyone here feels that past life Nazis need to pay in this life for their wrongdoings, or that anyone deserves to be abused because they might have done such things in another incarnation. It may be the case that we 'choose' to embody the energy of becoming a 'victim' to balance some karma, but even in those cases, it may be an opportunity for a soul to actually fight for the rights of those abused, rather than 'suffer' like a martyr for something they may have done hundreds of years ago. Most of us ex Nazis, are very passionate about preventing abuse and the misuse of power, mainly because we hurt ourselves so badly in hurting others. I don't think the Universe ever 'punishes' us in the conventional sense, we can only learn and become better human beings.

I hope this can be resolved, but should you decide to leave the forum, we wish you well on your journey :-)

[helen]

Hi Lizzie66:

I don't think the Universe ever 'punishes' us in the conventional sense, we can only learn and become better human beings.

That's exactly what I was trying to say! Guilt is very destructive feeling!

It may well be a matter of some kind of misunderstanding concerning your use of language and we certainly appreciate that English isn't your first language.

I used the word "responsibility" instead of "guilt", meaning that "responsibility" implies forgiveness and self-work. Saying that "both sides are responsible for situation" I meant that Universe is always balanced if we look at the core of situation. Please correct me if I used wrong expression.

Among many other things, I suffered rape attempt at age of 11, that was quite traumatic. But I managed to forgive them and eliminate hate and fear from my heart. After that world appears safe and bright place for me, and I don't attract that kind of people in my life.

It doesn't mean that I justify my offenders!But certainly it's me that attracted violence in my life. And I attract it no more. Even if it happens again, I will strive to improve myself more.

Thanks to everyone for feedback! Whether you agree with my conceptions or not I send love and gratitude to you all

[Laurasia]

Hello Helen.

The statement that "both sides are responsible for the situation" is indeed the expression that caused all of this drama. Saying it that way implies that anyone (we are most especially concerned with children in this regard) is even partly responsible for whatever type of abuse they are forced to suffer.

I understand that you feel as though you somehow attracted the violence into your own life, & that is fine if that works for you. But there are many of us, myself included, who have survived numerous & terrible forms of abuse/attacks who whole-heartedly feel that such statements about abuse serve only to excuse (even partially) the attackers in such instances. We are not of the mind that we, nor anyone else, attracts such violence into their lives. That is why I asked you to reword how you speak about these things.

And now for the important question....do you still want me to delete your account?

Sincerely,
Laurasia

[helen]

HI, Laurasia,

If you and others allow me, I will stay. I was a bit touchy and emotional, because my mother's passing happened just a day or two ago at that time. Usually I tend to be touchy, but it was intensified due to situation. That was a reason I felt attacked. Sorry, if I misunderstood you.

I hope you don't find my presence here incompatible. If it is so, please let me know. No offends, really. I will give you all my love and blessings and continue my way

[Leutnantzursee]

Gosh Helen - I'm so very sorry to hear that your mother passed away - my deepest sympathies to you and of course you're going to feel emotional right now :-( I certainly have no problem with you and I'm glad to hear you'd like to stay :-)

[helen]

Lizzie66 - thanks