the healer needs help Jan 30, 2014 22:08:01 GMT -5
Post by gumby on Jan 30, 2014 22:08:01 GMT -5
I read this thread for the first time today. I can say that I can identify with this, I am feeling drained all the time, I feel like this life is sapping the energy away from me. I really think that much of this comes from my PL experiences in WWII in Germany when I was in the bombings and suffered all that indescribable horror. I can't seem to get it out of my mind, the fires, smoke, screams, panic. It is as though my mind is still in a state of shock at times, often everything seems useless, as though it is all about to come crashing down on me and bury me forever. I find myself hating people for no sane reason, I feel that they have not suffered as I, they just don't see and understand. I lay in the street in Stuttgart and look up at the black sky, and bombs whistling everywhere, and explosions, the street shakes underneath me. Just to lay here in the street is better than to be down in the shelters which have collapsed and filled with smoke. I can die here. I can watch as my city is destroyed. Such futility. More earth shattering booms. Soldiers come and help us out, they lift me up and carry me out of harms way. I choke on the smoke and my eyes sting, and the tears streaming down are of my own devestation. Fires burn everywhere out of control, the heat is like a furnace of hell. The soldiers saved my life. They are good men, brave to go into all that inferno. I realize that I have been to a firey pit and somehow survived, but others are less fortunate. Yes, to be alive yet dead inside, this is a survivers story.