Insidious little voices and self-doubt

[Storm]

Oh wow, you are speaking my language! I am STILL "Jury out" in some respects, but I have decided that so long as I am honest with myself about what I am feeling/experiencing that is all I really can do. I am also very scientific on some levels, albeit I am deeply spiritual too. I am also more likely to scrutinise and be critical of my own experiences, relating in particular to the SS past life stuff, than those of others. But my journey is happening and I can't change that, plus I am transforming and changing for the better in some ways, so all I can do is to go with it and see where it ultimately takes me.

Astrology is a good way of getting something else to go on, based on factors unique to you, (your birth details). I would recommend having your chart done if you feel like it too. It will give you a feel for what type of person you could have been and life you could have lived and you can then match up what you find out with what has already started to reveal itself to you.

Suspecting one has had a past life in the SS is a hard thing to swallow. Especially for those of us who are pretty tolerant and caring types now. Be kind to yourself and take stuff at a pace you feel able to handle.

Welcome to the forum, there are some amazing and supportive souls on here.

[Leutnantzursee]

Yes - I know that feeling well, I'm doing much the same thing over another 'spiritual' matter at the moment, insomuch as I'm picking it to pieces and feeling skeptical of it, but my heart is saying an entirely different thing altogether! I know how shocked I was when I did my PL regression and it took me back to being 15 years old wearing an HJ uniform! Like you, I'm a tolerant, loving person and VERY non-racist, I can't imagine how I could have hated and persecuted people to that extent. It is pretty harrowing to take on board and forces you to re-think everything you thought you knew about Spirit and karma. I think its healthy though, to look rationally at things regardless, its easy to get carried away and think every little thought that enters our head comes from some other origin and it can throw you very off balance. The main thing is, does your scrutiny prove or disprove your PL? If it proves it (for instance have you tried to locate the actual person you were in that life?) then you've got something very solid to work from. :-) Yes, its funny you mentioning the gay SS thing, as I suspect I was at least bi sexual in my last life, I certainly developed 'crushes' on my male comrades I'm pretty sure! Although I'm not sure if I was SS (I saw myself in the Kreigsmarines for the duration of my time in the war) I think I have a strong connection with the Aktion atrocities. Many of you have much better 'evidence' than I have, of having lived through all this, but something in my gut tells me this is spot on - so I go by that as a rule. One of the big defining features in both Nazi and Jewish reincarnation is that we all suffer terrible phobias and problems with depression to greater and lesser degrees. The karma of both sides seems to be peculiarly similar, which has led us to believe that we operated as a soul group on both sides. I love the Jewish culture now, and have a couple of Jewish friends, so yes finding out I was this horrid little Nazi has been quite heartbreaking for me, but also goes a long way in explaining many of my hang-ups in this life.

Hopefully reading through some of the threads here, will bolster your sense of 'proof'. SS3 has an amazing story to tell, as do many here - so be sure to check out other members stories and I'm sure it will really help you get a better sense of whether you're right or wrong about your PL. :-)

[Demi]

Hi guys,

Yes, absolutely, this resonates with me! I am very skeptical about my experiences, but I also realize that they must be there for a reason. To look at it from the positive side, I have gotten information which supplements my knowledge and understanding of the Holocaust (I am a former Auschwitz historian) as well as principles of karma and evolution in a tough but incredible way, empowering me to speak from my heart and have true understanding about all sides of the aspect. As hard as it can be, I do see that as a sort of blessing. This time being born in a country that suffered the most from the Nazis, it was such a kick in the head to experience my PL being on the other side. And I try to explain this in various different ways, but then realizing that Fritsi is also a part of me and we are developing together.
And all of you guys here are a great help to me knowing that I'm not alone with this kind of stuff! (whatever it is..

And the part of 'soul group travelling together' this is absolutely cognized in one of my PL experiences too.

Today I had some very intense PL experiences about attempting to incarnate several times after Fritsi's death in WW2, each time dying during childbirth or right after. Each of these times I was a girl (Fritsi was executed by the Russians or Poles, when he was dying he decided he doesn't want to be a boy again because war is such BS) I began to feel like I start to understand my deep aversion to hospitals, pregnancy, doctors, blood, and not being able to handle to watch medical shows at all!

And I think it's a common occurence with gender switchers feeling a connection to the gender they were last time, If I don't think about it, I often dress and cut my hair like a dude. I've gotten used to being a woman, but it took some practice ;D

All the best
Demi

[Leutnantzursee]

Yes, the PTSD symptoms seem to be another running thread among us ex servicemen, I certainly suffer from terminal fastidiousness and perfectionism too. Our generation was brought up to believe that failure wasn't an option and I find it hard to relax into my present life as a result, I feel like I'm always looking over my shoulder for some invisible threat, I also feel that without a great cause or ideal to strive for, there is no purpose to life. That may be a trait we all carry, and one that this time around can be channeled into more altruistic and humane pursuits, especially those causes which stand up for human rights and rage against injustice. Most of us have suffered bouts of severe depression at least once in our present lifetimes, if not sustained and severe episodes of it. I think we reincarnated Nazis face a double-edged guilt - the guilt of having committed such atrocities on the people of Europe and that of actually losing the war. I think it was a member of 'Tangerine dream' (a German 'Krautrock' band from the 70's) who said that it 'was bad enough that Germany waged two world wars, but to lose them BOTH...?' That sums it up pretty well, the shame and the self-loathing that accompanies many of us on our journey.

I've had difficulty locating the true identity of my PL too, a few of us are hitting this same wall. Some of that maybe simply that we don't have access to detailed German archives, there is only so much on line after all! I'm trying not to let that worry me too much at this stage though :-) Dreams are often a good indicator I think, especially those nightmares we had as small children, where we dreamed about ghastly things we couldn't possibly have been exposed to in our current selves.

Demi - I love what you say about 'gender switching' it fascinates me so much, that so many of us are women this time around. I never disliked, or felt uncomfortable being female, but what I hate are the restrictions I perceive to be placed on women. For me, its like I don't quite 'get' how I am 'supposed' to behave as a woman. Sometimes it feels like a vague masculine identity slugging it out with what a 'good' loyal Nazi man believed a woman should be - very confusing! My views at times can also be quite black and white, and I've learned much in recent years about compromise and the acceptance that things just aren't that cut and dried. I think actually the more you set the self-analysis probe going, the more you find those old Nazi traits surfacing, but they can be quite subtle - which somehow makes it all seem more plausible. In a sense we're also a soul group undergoing a form of spiritual 'de-programming', same as anyone today rescued from some kooky cult and needing psychological help afterwards.

It's great that both of you feel comfortable here and are getting something out of these discussions. They help me enormously too