Possible PL breakthrough with Emil

[Storm]

Jun 7, 2012 21:00:35 GMT -5 gerhardt said:

Wow, y'all...this is an intense thread. I'm so happy for lizzie's growth and wish her peace as she makes this healing journey.

I do want to address SS*3's statement: "OF course now so many SS are indeed women and myself and my freind are discovering that so many if not all the Aktion sites and camp sites are on places connecting to ancient Goddess worship, it does open a new dimension to the whole Holocaust issue which I do feel we need to explore more. I remain convinced on an esoteric level, (especially knowing Himmler's interest in the Goddess and Paganism), that somehow Nazism was connected to a manifestation of the suppressed feminine energy which behaved as a mother with Münchhausen's syndrome and effectively killed her children to get attention."

That completely blew my mind. I had no idea about that bit of information...I have to do some serious research in this regard. That's so sick and twisted and...it makes perfect sense. Many, many of my memories that do not directly relate to the killings have a VERY spiritual feel to them. There was certainly some strange energy, Rune magic for lack of a better word, being channeled back then.

Recently, I was invited to attend a Blot at an Asatru group's place. I was very curious, but just thinking about it brought up too many memories and energies for me to deal with. I couldn't have gone into the ceremony with purity, as I'd have been living in Reich days' Europe, not 2012.

I really understand about this spiritual quality that certain memories of back then have. I have the same, although for me there is also a terrible darkness attached to the memories I have of Wewelsburg and some of the actual ritualistic stuff senior SS were forced to participate in.

[gerhardt]

Lizzie,
I'm so glad you are feeling better. I was worried about you and your sense of loneliness-I'm so glad that's on the mend. Never hesitate to contact me! We don't know each other, but sometimes strangers can be the most healing and comforting. In a way, that is the essence of this forum, I suppose.

You're right about all of us being incarnated in "lesser" capacities (truly, greater), and about our leaning to Goddess spirituality. Every single Nazi I have known in this physical life has been at very least a pagan, often a witch.

I'm sure we were taught all sorts of legends and magical teachings. And yes, that spiritual attachment to the land of origin is a very Aryan thing, but it's also a very purely spiritual thing too. I have the same sense of belonging to the Lowcountry of South Carolina, where I was born in this time. I know I have been here before, and am lucky to be here again. I love this place. It is full of old magics, including that of the Africans and the Natives here before them.

I'd love to PM with you and get to know you better, talk about these matters.

Best,
Gerhardt

[Leutnantzursee]

Aaaw thank you Gerhardt ;D I will definitely write you a long email after the weekend, when I've got more time! It's funny, I have images of Emil playing a drum in an HJ band sometimes, if he'd been born post war, I think he'd have been into 'Krautrock' and electronica as I am in this life! Some of those guys really channeled that energy left by the Nazis into something positive, they were so aware of needing to escape everything connected to their parent's generation and the war, I think they reached the raw apex of that pure Shamanic energy source, rebuilding a music style in the way Germany was redefining itself after the cataclysm of Nazism. The driving beats of Can and Kraftwerk were Germany's new sons trying to find their 'Motherland' and her mercy. Sorry, I went off on a bit of a tangent there and I have no idea if you're into really nerdy, arty electronica, though I rest my case when I say these German bands invented Techno! I could be cheeky and add - what is any gay man without disco? Joking aside, I guess the point I'm making is that this Nazi energy has been, and can still be transmuted through its sons and daughters, even those of us not born of her flesh in this life. Our earliest ancestors, and we do possibly have Neanderthal genes, came from central Europe, and I've sometimes wondered if the Nazi energy was also a manifestation against the Cro-Magnon descendants of Europe. So much underpins it esoterically I think. Trying to make sense of it on this level, is all we can do, why else would we be back? In some way it was all more than the sum of its parts, and the journey of the human soul is more fantastic and full of forgiveness than we may have previously imagined :-)

I've visited the US a couple of times - once to Michigan (near Detroit) and on a road-trip through Arizona, Nevada and California. I feel an intense connection with Native American and African slave culture and in my life before Emil's, I flitted between Wales and New York. So yes, I also resonate with America, I completely understand how you feel about the land you live on now.

Wishing you a wonderful weekend my friend

Liz

[Laurasia]

I just wanted to say that I am also glad to hear that you've been feeling better lately Liz. That's still the case, right?

Anyway, yeah it seems that most of us former SS are now Pagan females. I have maintained a deep connection to the Norse pantheon myself though. I think that my former lifetime as a Viking may have quite a bit to do with that as well though.

Sincerely,
Laurasia

[Leutnantzursee]

Thanks Laurasia - yes, I'm still good thank you :-) I had one little memory surface the other day. While I was watching this documentary about the sinking of the Scharnhorst I had a little flashback, it was of being on the bridge or some kind of look out station on the ship with captain Hintze. I can't not look at a photo of him and not feel the tears well up, I have a really strong sense of him, Frizt Hintze was a wonderful man, he was calm and generous, very patient with his crew and knew how to earn loyalty by being a basically decent human being who understood all the pressures we were under in such arduous conditions. I could see it so clearly, it was eerie, the light and all the instruments, it was a small section of the ship, high up on the top deck with lots of glass to see out, of that's all I know. I am beginning to feel some shifts towards forgiving myself, helped so much by you all here and a new kind of communication between me and Lisi's reincarnation If more comes, I will update it on here of course.

I can't thank you all enough for giving me so much love and support, I feel it too from the spirit world from Willi Noller and captain Hinze who were such good friends to me back then, I feel so honoured to be able to make this journey and to share it with such fine souls as all my dear friends here.

[Laurasia]

Hi Liz.

It can be strange how recollections can just come up suddenly like that. There should be a t-shirt made for those of us who have such spontaneous recall that says "I'm not daydreaming....I'm remembering!" LOL!

Thank you so much for all that you do to help members here through our own journeys dear. You honor us with your presence & friendship as well.

Sincerely,
Laurasia

[Miss Bothmann]

Lizzie: Thank you so much for sharing your memories with us. As noted in my thread about Anna, we do have similarities. You and I were the same age (you were born in 1924 right?) and were in Austria. I am happy that you are now feeling better and have come to terms with some of the more darker things. *hugs* I llok forward to reading more of what you discover and remember.

[Leutnantzursee]

Thank you ladies :-) yes Laurasia, it is weird how those recollections just come to the surface, I don't get many, but when I do they are very vivid, to the point that I can even smell things! Absolutely about 'daydreaming' I do a lot of that and its often then that these things pop up, I suppose when your mind is less focused on the mundane, day to day stuff, when it drifts off, maybe the brain waves change and we become more receptive to intuition?

Hi Miss Bothmann, always great to see you here, I hope you're well hon :-) I was born in 1921 I think, not '24 as I was fifteen in 1936 (I think that's right - my maths is pretty bad though!) I was certainly in Austria then, but I have a sneaking feeling that I was actually born in Berlin and moved to Austria when my aunt adopted me. Though, I really can't be sure - its a pity we're not birth twins though, but we were certainly the same generation

[Laurasia]

Hi Liz.

Absolutely about 'daydreaming' I do a lot of that and its often then that these things pop up, I suppose when your mind is less focused on the mundane, day to day stuff, when it drifts off, maybe the brain waves change and we become more receptive to intuition?

Oh DEFINITELY! This is a large part of the reason that I tend to get so many recollections while on vacation. You see, I listen to music over my headphones while we're driving wherever we are going & that relaxes my mind into a state where I often get quick little snippets of things.

Sincerely,
Laurasia

[Leutnantzursee]

Well I've just come back off holiday myself Laurasia (which is why I've been absent for a week btw!) but didn't get any recollections unfortunately - most probably as it was pretty socially full-on and I imbibed rather more home made cheese and alcohol than I should have! But yes, that has happened to me in the past when I've been out of my usual environment. I remember the first recollections I ever got of a past life, where when I was 17 and working as a nanny, during long walks in the local cornfields, I got powerful flashbacks of being a young Roman soldier, crushed to death by a falling rock and yes, as it was the 80's, I had my 'Walkman' on too! ;D

Well, taking your cue from Rebecca's post, I'll just update you on who I think Lisi and auntie Ruth are now. As you know because so much stuff started to surface when I dreamed about **** the druid blogger, I made the natural assumption that he must have been Lisi, and although the 'ghost' girl who stood beside him in the dream resembled Lisi a little, I don't think it was her, it was the woman I'd known him as in my 18th century incarnation. Why, it should connect so strongly with Emil, I don't know, but perhaps because I was tapping into past life energy generally, it might have stirred up the more recent issues from Emil's lifetime. Of course, once again, I could be wrong, but one night I felt like I had a flash of intuition and it was because of the mention in Rebecca's post about the nightmares concerning dirty swimming pools. I really think that Lisi is with me and has been for nearly twelve years in the shape of my best friend. She has had some pretty gruesome dreams about the Gestapo, but in less explicit tones, she's had a recurring dream about 'rotting swimming pools' as she calls them. Not only that, but she has a terrible fear of fire and copious nightmares involving not being able to 'stop or prevent a fire' in some way. One of her dreams involved being pursued by either SS or Gestapo, and hiding desperately behind a haystack, she even said that it was a different shape to English ones and seemed 'European' in some way. She took a series of photographs (aside from being a good sculptor, she's an excellent photographer) of these old warehouses in the town where she was at art school, and even she had to admit they came out looking chillingly like images of the camps.

I've often said to my friend that I think she must have had a PL involving the holocaust, and I have wondered in the past if she was Lisi, but as it wasn't a subject she felt compelled to pursue, although she hasn't discounted it, I haven't followed it through until now. I think it was hearing those same dreams so eerily repeated by someone else who had lived through those years on the 'wrong side' of the Nazi regime, that it just seemed so obvious, that and of course Laurasia mentioning some of the T4 sites being set up in old bathhouses and swimming pools (though the ones she dreams about are outdoor pools.) More than anything I've regarded her as my 'adopted little sister' I truly love her as my own kin, its quite an unshakable almost 'genetic' bond and our friendship is so reminiscent of a good sibling connection, lots of 'in jokes' and a child like innocence with the way we are together. It's everything Emil would have wanted to restore to Lisi, to 'be there' for her this time, to not abandon her in her time of need, to be a good and worthy elder brother...

I think too, that my next door neighbour might be auntie Ruth, again he is just one of those people who has inadvertently become like family. I've always had a sense of him having been a mum to me in a past life, he has a very feminine nurturing side and something so familiar, I feel so comfortable with him and we are unusually close for mere neighbours, I cook for him and help take care of his dog for example. Even though he was born in 1948, he could easily be auntie Ruth, as I think she died in 1942.

It just occurred to me that I most probably DO have my old family back with me, its been right under my nose all this time. If nothing else, I guess i want to believe its true - that way, I feel forgiven by those people I knew before, people I felt I'd let down so badly back then. Just to know that I might have been given the chance to make amends in the best possibly way this lifetime, lifted my heart so much. Of course I might be wrong and maybe my neighbour and friend are fulfilling the roles I need to feel connected to in order to heal Emil's guilt. Yet somehow, it feels 'right', in some way. I feel sure we don't get 'punished' with deprivation or having to suffer the fate of those we wronged, when we get a shuffle of the cards again. Maybe we simply get the chance to love again with no hang-ups, because we've already been forgiven :-) So if I am right about their identities and my relationship to them back then, I feel like I can breathe a sigh of relief and perhaps get to work on the other aspects of Emil's involvement with the Nazis. So, as they say, we shall see

[Laurasia]

Hi Liz.

It certainly sounds as though you have your family with you. Such close & personal bonds with others are usually the best sign of having a very close past life connection with each other. Hans was "right under my nose" for over 15 years before I was consciously aware of having been him as well. So, yes, the obvious can sit right there for the longest time without us ever noticing it.

You say that she's discussed reincarnation with you before....have you ever considered broaching this topic with here as something for the two of you to explore together? If she's open to the idea that may be the most healing thing for you to do at this point.

I'm just so glad that you've been able to identify the true nature of your past life connection with the blogger &, more importantly, discovered the likely depth of your connections to your best friend & neighbor. This is wonderful, hon! I couldn't be happier for you & I wish you all the luck in the world in discovering more about these two very important people in your life.

Sincerely,
Laurasia

[Leutnantzursee]

Thank you Laurasia - yes, we talk a lot about all things esoteric and she's also done the same regression tapes that I did, but a PL in Nazi Germany didn't come up for her, instead she saw herself living in the 18th C as a dressmaker in Spitalfields. It just makes so much sense to me, and I guess even if she wasn't Lisi, I still get to be a 'brother' to someone very dear :-) It's always so tricky if you pick up strongly a very specific soul connection and the other person doesn't feel it, it really can cast doubts as I suppose you imagine that the other person will feel equally drawn to the idea. We both feel very much that we've known each other before though - as does my neighbour, but until now I've not really laid any cards out on the table about it. I'll see if either of them wants to look into it further, but I suspect they'll merely consider it as a curious possibility and leave it at that. I know a lot of people who except the idea of reincarnation in principal, but don't feel the urge to explore their past lives, maybe that's more healthy, I don't know, sometimes it does feel like opening Pandora's box and it seems if you ask the universe to give you details about PL's, its a case of be careful what you ask for! I'm sure you know what I mean

I do feel much better though, somehow being away from the city and the family gave me a chance to let things sink in subliminally and a lot just seemed to work itself out. I actually ended up thinking more about the blogger, he was very much on my mind, so what that means I don't know, another case of suck and see I guess!

[glpoisson]

I have found from my own personal research, and from what I have read of others, that accessible PLs are dependent on what ones current life energy state is.

In preparation for incarnating, we each take the karma of several lives and plan how to resolve it in the upcoming life. The PLs where this karma originated will be the ones most accessible through regression, whether spontaneous or guided. Other PLs will be very difficult to access for this same reason. One may choose certain periods of a current life to deal with karma from the past and, if it is not dealt with, that PL fades back into the energy bank of unresolved karma to be brought to the fore and dealt with at another moment. Allergies which appear 'mysteriously' and disappear after a time can indicate that a person chose a particular time in life to deal with a specific issue and, when they did not resolve it, the energy of the karma or trauma was released from the current life.

It may not be time for them to deal with the lives they had associated with you. Their residual energy from that life may not be a focus for them in this life so any regression will, at best, produce vague or disjointedly nonsensical images and feelings for them. It feels like just your awareness of their presence in that life and this one is enough for you to go on and not feel 'crazy'.

[Laurasia]

Hello Glpoisson.

That is a very interesting theory that you mention. That could very well be what is going on for Liz's friend & neighbor.

For myself personally, I think that may explain why I can get very little (if any detail) about some of my own past incarnations. In some cases it is just a matter of knowing that I had an incarnation in a certain area or at a certain time, but there are no actual "recollections" to correspond with those feelings.

Sincerely,
Laurasia

[Leutnantzursee]

Thank you Glpoisson
Yes that is a very interesting theory and it makes a lot of sense, it certainly explains why some recollections seem so vivid, and you focus on maybe a select few past lives, while other times you simply get a sense of having lived in a certain place and time, but nothing more. Sometimes I think events or other promptings can provoke buried PL awareness too, and then you get nothing more. For me that happened during the Japan earthquake and I found myself spontaneously remembering running from some impending disaster in Feudal Japan with two children in my arms. I cried all night, when I heard about the earthquake and until I got that recall, I had no idea why I felt so devastated. Understanding that we only take a small amount of karma into each lifetime of course makes sense, I don't see it as some linear progression either, sometimes I think we can take a step forward, only to take a couple of steps back in our soul's progress, especially I suspect when we don't learn the karmic lessons we needed to. That certainly gives me comfort with what you say regarding residual energy from PL's and how it manifests differently even among soul mate connections, it certainly explains why some of the souls I've felt so overwhelmingly close to, have not reciprocated or in one case, where impossible to get close to due to circumstance. They simply weren't dealing with the karma of the lifetime I knew them from, whereas I was.

Thanks for your thoughts :-)
Liz