Post by jhwoodw on Jan 28, 2012 10:00:57 GMT -5
Sorry, this is a bit long....
I wanted to share an intense and strange experience I shared with my best friend last night. We met up as it has been a few weeks since seeing each other, and eventually the discussion led to my personal journey with PLR. I had been telling him the things that were happening up until a few weeks ago when I started having more graphic recollections. I chose to tell him everything last night, not hoping he would believe, but trusting that he would be supportive and non-judgmental. He is very Christian and I have always thought my beliefs (Universalist) and his were in conflict though we have intelligent and calm discussions about them. Instead I was shocked to find that he had an intense reaction to my story.
I know I haven't posted anything up here yet about my PL, I intend to but needed to get this experience out right away. In brief, so that you have some background on what I told him, I think I was a Polish male in his early twenties (in 1941) and probably was both a perpetrator and victim. I don't know much about myself yet, as most of the info I get is on two women; Alicja, who was my girlfriend and a singer, and Emilia, who was my older sister in my PL and my mother currently. As I was telling him some of the details of Emilia's (Emily's) story he became very emotional and was connecting strongly to the theme of love, forgiveness, and sacrifice that runs through her story (in both lives). He was crying (which I have only seen him do once) and started "filling in" parts of the story that were missing to me. He said that she wasn't my sister, but my mother and our father had abused/raped her, then my "parents" had raised me as their own and she acquiesced to being known as my older sister. This may sound fantastical, but it fits as a missing piece of the puzzle.
I already knew that Emily had never had her own children, though she desperately wanted them and had treated me and considered me her only child. In this life my mother's story is almost reversed, though her parents were abusive, including her father sexually abusing her from a young age. In this life she took her younger sister and raised her when she was only 16 because her mother was ill and died, and she wouldn't leave my aunt with the abusive father. She had my brother young, but always wanted a daughter of her own and "prayed for fourteen years" that she would have me. After 5 failed attempts (miscarriages, babies born dead, ect) she had me. It also explains why I chose to come back to be her child in this life.
After throwing out these thoughts he then broke down, sobbing. When I asked him what was wrong he said that I "have to tell the children!" He kept repeating this and eventually I was able to gently guide him with some questions to get more info. He told me he had been having this recurring dream since he was little that there are children on a play ground with swings on rusty chains and there is something collectively wrong with them. They need something, to know something, but he never knows what it is.
He didn't feel this was a regression of any kind, but that it was real. It came out that these children are in the 1950's, in middle America (He gave me the states OK, KS, NE). He said they were survivors and their parents were not. He felt strongly that what they needed to known is the same lessons I am learning through my journey and that somehow I must find them and tell them what I "know" (though I don't feel like I know very much). We left it there since he was becoming very upset.
I don't know what this all means or if this is a usual experience for those investigating their PL. Any thoughts, input, info, or guidance would be greatly appreciated.
I wanted to share an intense and strange experience I shared with my best friend last night. We met up as it has been a few weeks since seeing each other, and eventually the discussion led to my personal journey with PLR. I had been telling him the things that were happening up until a few weeks ago when I started having more graphic recollections. I chose to tell him everything last night, not hoping he would believe, but trusting that he would be supportive and non-judgmental. He is very Christian and I have always thought my beliefs (Universalist) and his were in conflict though we have intelligent and calm discussions about them. Instead I was shocked to find that he had an intense reaction to my story.
I know I haven't posted anything up here yet about my PL, I intend to but needed to get this experience out right away. In brief, so that you have some background on what I told him, I think I was a Polish male in his early twenties (in 1941) and probably was both a perpetrator and victim. I don't know much about myself yet, as most of the info I get is on two women; Alicja, who was my girlfriend and a singer, and Emilia, who was my older sister in my PL and my mother currently. As I was telling him some of the details of Emilia's (Emily's) story he became very emotional and was connecting strongly to the theme of love, forgiveness, and sacrifice that runs through her story (in both lives). He was crying (which I have only seen him do once) and started "filling in" parts of the story that were missing to me. He said that she wasn't my sister, but my mother and our father had abused/raped her, then my "parents" had raised me as their own and she acquiesced to being known as my older sister. This may sound fantastical, but it fits as a missing piece of the puzzle.
I already knew that Emily had never had her own children, though she desperately wanted them and had treated me and considered me her only child. In this life my mother's story is almost reversed, though her parents were abusive, including her father sexually abusing her from a young age. In this life she took her younger sister and raised her when she was only 16 because her mother was ill and died, and she wouldn't leave my aunt with the abusive father. She had my brother young, but always wanted a daughter of her own and "prayed for fourteen years" that she would have me. After 5 failed attempts (miscarriages, babies born dead, ect) she had me. It also explains why I chose to come back to be her child in this life.
After throwing out these thoughts he then broke down, sobbing. When I asked him what was wrong he said that I "have to tell the children!" He kept repeating this and eventually I was able to gently guide him with some questions to get more info. He told me he had been having this recurring dream since he was little that there are children on a play ground with swings on rusty chains and there is something collectively wrong with them. They need something, to know something, but he never knows what it is.
He didn't feel this was a regression of any kind, but that it was real. It came out that these children are in the 1950's, in middle America (He gave me the states OK, KS, NE). He said they were survivors and their parents were not. He felt strongly that what they needed to known is the same lessons I am learning through my journey and that somehow I must find them and tell them what I "know" (though I don't feel like I know very much). We left it there since he was becoming very upset.
I don't know what this all means or if this is a usual experience for those investigating their PL. Any thoughts, input, info, or guidance would be greatly appreciated.
