Post by rhomi on Nov 9, 2011 9:03:39 GMT -5
I am so grateful to find this site...i am 44 yrs old and have struggled with heroin addiction for many years. I currently have been clean about 6 yrs. My "memories" are not as detailed as everyone elses seem to be here but i have gotten a few brief glimpses of a life which in my opinion was cut short way too early.
I dont know if I was Russian, German, French or Polish but I believe absolutly I was Jewish, female and I was angry. My first flash I can attribute to that lifetime is crouching over a dead soldier fumbling to release his side arm and shooting blindly at a gruop of soldiers chasing "us". This disturbing thought woke me up immediatly and I cried for along time about the thought of "knowing"what it felt like to take anothers life.
The next much more real and life changing memory is the sky is overcast my eyes are looking down i see im wearing a brown wool skirt that goes beyond my knees my legs are alittle dirty, my socks are like saggy and im wearing chunky brown shoes as i look at my shoes a man in a grey uniform with an ss hat steps up to my left side and shoots me in the head, immediatly i hear a high pitched sound and then i am thrown on top of a bunch of bodies an i feel the dirt covering me. There is no pain and I dont remember what happens after, but I know this happened to me. There was no hidden meaning here or my subconcious trying to work something out. It was strait forward.
Unfortunatly I believe Ive let that young girl take her anger and outrage out on this life, since I was born I have just wanted to be grown and pursue anything that brings me pleasure. I have wasted a whole lifetime trying to make myself happy with relationships drugs and money. I am interested if others have had these expierences. I am looking forward to trying some of the exercises to remember more Thx rhomi
I dont know if I was Russian, German, French or Polish but I believe absolutly I was Jewish, female and I was angry. My first flash I can attribute to that lifetime is crouching over a dead soldier fumbling to release his side arm and shooting blindly at a gruop of soldiers chasing "us". This disturbing thought woke me up immediatly and I cried for along time about the thought of "knowing"what it felt like to take anothers life.
The next much more real and life changing memory is the sky is overcast my eyes are looking down i see im wearing a brown wool skirt that goes beyond my knees my legs are alittle dirty, my socks are like saggy and im wearing chunky brown shoes as i look at my shoes a man in a grey uniform with an ss hat steps up to my left side and shoots me in the head, immediatly i hear a high pitched sound and then i am thrown on top of a bunch of bodies an i feel the dirt covering me. There is no pain and I dont remember what happens after, but I know this happened to me. There was no hidden meaning here or my subconcious trying to work something out. It was strait forward.
Unfortunatly I believe Ive let that young girl take her anger and outrage out on this life, since I was born I have just wanted to be grown and pursue anything that brings me pleasure. I have wasted a whole lifetime trying to make myself happy with relationships drugs and money. I am interested if others have had these expierences. I am looking forward to trying some of the exercises to remember more Thx rhomi
You'll find a lot of people here to listen and help though.
