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Post by eiszeit on Oct 4, 2011 0:10:52 GMT -5
I've been curious about this lately, and an incident earlier in the day brought the question to mind again. So, I'm going to ask. How many of you have had depression in this life, stemming from past lives? I know that anxiety and phobias are pretty common here, especially when dealing with Third Reich PLs. I have both: anxiety and severe contamination phobias, to the point where, if someone in my house is sick, I eat very little for about a week for fear of contamination. (Thankfully, my entire family has amazing immune systems and gets sick once in a blue moon.) But I don't know if depression is as common. The incident earlier in the day was a trip to my college's student health center, and a meeting with one of their counselors. I took a Beck inventory and it turns out yes, I have some form of depression. It's good I have a semi-official definition and now I know, but there's a lot I don't know. I don't know if I made myself depressed, or if I was already on my way to being depressed and learning about the PL at a relatively young age only compounded onto the issue. I don't know if it's all in my head and, if I stop thinking about my PL, it'll go away or if it's here to stay until further notice and not thinking about it will only make things worse. I don't even know if making myself depressed is an option! I'm curious as to what everyone else has to say about this. It wouldn't surprise me if depression is common in this particular field of PL studies, on both sides. Feel free to ignore this thread as you wish; I understand the topic of mental illness (any mental illness) is a touchy sort of subject, and if you don't want to post, it's okay. I'll understand!
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Post by rednight94 on Oct 4, 2011 9:46:41 GMT -5
Yes, I think having depression from these types of PLs is probably incredibly common. Though mine was actually worse before I found out about who I was. As a child, I had it really bad. I remember wanting to die when I was eight years old, and I had separation anxiety, and around ten I became extremely germophobia as I got older; the funny thing with that though is it only was directed towards humans. I didn't/don't care about animals being dirty, but let's say someone didn't wash their hands after using the bathroom. I would freak out.
I was going to attempt to kill myself when I was eleven, but my mom caught on and stopped me. Then, I was sent to a mental hospital. By a lovely coincidence, my room had a splendid view of an old smokestack...! Never liked those things, and you can imagine why! Anyways, I was there for about an hour and called for my mom to pick me up. I hated it. Then there was the panic attacks. I had one in seventh grade during a fire drill, and this Jewish boy [!] yelled, "The Germans are coming!" He thought is was funny apparently that I was crying under a desk. At the time though, I was completely confused as to why he would even say that... We were learning about the Holocaust and WWII that year, but I was still thinking how random it was. Maybe because my reaction was similar to how your supposed to act during an air raid or something.... I don't know. At the time I was upset, and when the fire alarm went off I lost it...
It's funny how even though I didn't remember what had happened to me, it still had such a huge emotional impact on my life. It makes me wonder how my mental health would have been if I had survived the camps...
Well, I'm done rambling now. Sorry about that.
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Post by sarque on Oct 4, 2011 15:19:01 GMT -5
Yes, I do struggle with depression in this life, and I think it does relate to that life. I was depressed in that life, too, after I was shot down and the war ended. I felt like I didn't have any purpose.
I think that finding out about my past life did help me a bit with the depression. It helped me understand why I'd have certain fears about being purposeless or meaningless. It helped me understand why I worry so much about my friends dying in this life, since so many of them died during the war in that life.
On the other hand, there are aspects of knowing more things about that life that make my depression in this life worse. I wasn't necessarily always the nicest guy in that life, and I think I made a lot of mistakes. Sometimes I still feel guilty about that, which certainly feeds into my depression.
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Post by msmir on Oct 4, 2011 20:53:35 GMT -5
I've been curious about this lately, and an incident earlier in the day brought the question to mind again. So, I'm going to ask. How many of you have had depression in this life, stemming from past lives? I know that anxiety and phobias are pretty common here, especially when dealing with Third Reich PLs. I have both: anxiety and severe contamination phobias, to the point where, if someone in my house is sick, I eat very little for about a week for fear of contamination. (Thankfully, my entire family has amazing immune systems and gets sick once in a blue moon.) But I don't know if depression is as common. The incident earlier in the day was a trip to my college's student health center, and a meeting with one of their counselors. I took a Beck inventory and it turns out yes, I have some form of depression. It's good I have a semi-official definition and now I know, but there's a lot I don't know. I don't know if I made myself depressed, or if I was already on my way to being depressed and learning about the PL at a relatively young age only compounded onto the issue. I don't know if it's all in my head and, if I stop thinking about my PL, it'll go away or if it's here to stay until further notice and not thinking about it will only make things worse. I don't even know if making myself depressed is an option! I'm curious as to what everyone else has to say about this. It wouldn't surprise me if depression is common in this particular field of PL studies, on both sides. Feel free to ignore this thread as you wish; I understand the topic of mental illness (any mental illness) is a touchy sort of subject, and if you don't want to post, it's okay. I'll understand! Yes absolutely, 100%, can't say it enough. Depression does stem from past life trauma especially if you were a victim or a repentant perpetrator from the time of the Third Reich. I talk about that in my book how common depression, anxiety and phobias are. Like you I am also emetophobic and I am sooo thankful that my KIDS rarely get sick and if they do, my husband is the single dad. It is the Universe's way of confirming that I am just not ready to conquer this phobia in this life. Or not anytime soon anyway. So I really do get where you are coming from.
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Post by eiszeit on Oct 4, 2011 22:57:32 GMT -5
It's good to know that I'm not the only one who has this. I wish none of us had it, of course, because this definitely isn't fun... But it's good to know that there are others who understand. The main thing I've been wondering, though, is which came first and which followed? Depression or PL? I sometimes feel as though I've given myself depression, too much thinking about might-have-beens, but I know this can't possibly be the case. The counselor from yesterday even said it herself: there's often no reason for depression, that it's a matter of biology and brain chemicals. Still... the thought is there. Thank you all, for your answers. I appreciate them. Again, it's good to know that I'm not the only person going through this. Much less lonely!
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Post by Laurasia on Oct 8, 2011 18:31:24 GMT -5
Hi Eiszeit. As you can see depression, just as anxiety/paranoia, is very prevelant amongst those of us reincarnated from WWII. So no, you are definitely not alone hon. As for which came first...it truly doesn't matter now does it? It is there, for whatever reason. Now you must learn how you can best adapt to it. Sincerely, Laurasia
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Post by doctorwhat on Oct 19, 2011 22:30:48 GMT -5
i've never had depression i'm just always moody, mainly from picking up on others' moods. but i've never been depressed (as in clinical depression or official depression).
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Post by eiszeit on Oct 20, 2011 18:57:41 GMT -5
Well, I'm feeling a bit better than I was when I made the first post. I've been to the college health center once a week for an appointment with the counselor since then, and my mood has more or less stabilized. It's good to know, though, that there are others out there with this sort of thing. It definitely makes me feel more at home, in a weird way.
Laurasia: I guess it doesn't matter, now that I have it. I've been working on attempting to... not get over it, but see past it. Lately I've been having a lot of issues with letting some things go. I don't want to get into too much detail here, and I should probably make a thread of my own somewhere, just so I can vomit some stuff that's been in my brain for a while out here. I'm trying to move past the mourning phase and into the 'what can I do now?' phase. It's not the easiest thing I've done. A big chunk of me wants to stay in the past, and a smaller piece that's slowly working to get bigger is trying to bring me out of it. The only problem is, I'm not sure if I want this to get bigger.
doctorwhat: Another empath! I definitely understand the moodiness. I'm never quite sure how much of it is my own genuine moodiness, or the feelings of the people around me. I probably should set up some sort of shield, shouldn't I? :\
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Post by doctorwhat on Oct 21, 2011 19:14:30 GMT -5
doctorwhat: Another empath! I definitely understand the moodiness. I'm never quite sure how much of it is my own genuine moodiness, or the feelings of the people around me. I probably should set up some sort of shield, shouldn't I? :\ definitely you should put up some sort of shield. i did/do, and it's MUCH better. tho, sometimes i fail at it and i still pick up on everyone else lol. when i was a kid and this would happen, i thought i was crazy and would end up in an asylum haha.
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Post by Laurasia on Oct 24, 2011 16:50:36 GMT -5
Hi Eiszeit. I also take in others' energies very easily & can tell you that you should DEFINITELY be using a shield! If you need any pointers on how to use them just let me know. I'm glad to see that talking to the counselor regularly has been helping you, hon. As for you creating a thread for venting about everything that you're dealing with...that's what the forum is here for hon! Sincerely, Laurasia
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Post by Miss Bothmann on Oct 27, 2011 17:35:32 GMT -5
I also have PL related depression, though mine did not start with Anna. Depression/anxiety has unfortunately been a common thread in my PL since way way back to one of my ancient PL where I was extremely depressed. In some of my lives, this trait tended to show itself more than in others. Take Anna for instance: she was happy as long as Hans was there. Once he had to leave, she was depressed..but had to find ways to cope. On the flip side, I have a recollection from my PL as a monk in medieval France. I am on my knees before a large stone fireplace crying my eyes out..begging for God's forgiveness. At that point I (he) felt almost suicidal his depression was so extreme. In this life, I have anxiety issues..but luckily, in this day an age we are more equipped to deal with it.
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Post by Leutnantzursee on Nov 8, 2011 0:55:58 GMT -5
I've suffered depression since I was 18, it came on very suddenly and hasn't left, though some sessions in cognitive therapy have really helped - in this life I have severe issues with my dead father and I know that accounts for a lot. But somehow, I can't help thinking its origins stem from my last life. Under hypnosis, I said that I drank heavily to relieve the pain and felt a complete failure in every aspect of life. I've carried those feelings so much into this life, I just feel unable to move forward, any setback sends me into spiraling depression, as if I anticipate things not working out. The regression really explained a lot and yes as others have mentioned, having that knowledge has really helped. I've been nearly housebound for a year, mainly because I've lost the desire to engage with the outside world and I'm struggling to write a novel, which has disturbed these PL memories. I think its only normal for us all to carry that sense of guilt and futility into our present lives, it would be feasible to suppose that any of the combatants or victims of the war on ALL sides has reincarnated with Post traumatic stress symptoms.
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Post by eiszeit on Nov 8, 2011 17:17:45 GMT -5
This is just a quick post. I may or may not come back later, to add onto it once I'm on a more stable set-up (I am using my mobile to post this while people-watching in a hall of my college!), but for now just a quick little note. Depression is back. I feel horrible and I feel like I'm only getting worse. The situation of the world doesn't give me much hope, as well as my own situation (typical college student "oh my GOD what do I do with my life?!" stuff, uncertainty in the future). I see the world as a largely negative place, and this PL stuff isn't really helping to aid that. I really and truly wish I wasn't brought back sometimes. Being stuck in some limbo is preferable to dealing with all of this! I'm not sure how common depression is in my own past lives... I get the feeling that Gregg was depressed underneath all of the anger (or maybe the anger was a symptom of the depression? I don't know). It wouldn't surprise me if depression was a theme in my lives. It was probably made worse by what happened in the KZ. I read one of msmir's articles, about the moon signs (I'm a Picses, apparently!). In the Picses paragraph was a sentence like (paraphrased from memory, as I can't find the article atm) "Maybe you were separated from someone you loved, and the grief made you go insane". When I read that, I wanted to scream and cry (I ended up laughing instead, for some reason :/ Probably because everyone else in the house was asleep when I read the article). I didn't even know that this could happen, but that's what I feel like happened. I feel like that, on top of not being able to show grief in such a setting, broke him. And now I'm dealing with all of it, especially the grief. It's like years of suppressed grief came rushing back as I learned about this life. Lizzie, welcome to the forums! You bring up a question I've been turning over in my head for some time now: could we have some form of post traumatic stress disorder, thanks to the PLs? I always hesitate to give a definitive answer, because it feels disrespectful to the men and women who have PTSD due to current life reasons. It's the same thing that leaves me unable to label myself as a 'survivor', because I didn't survive! If I had to guess, though, I would say we could have some form/some of the symptoms of it... If anxiety and depression can carry over through the ages, why not this as well? I'm curious as to what everyone else feels about this topic, it's an interesting thing to ponder! Well, this is what happens when I try to post a quick note I end up going for ages. Oh well...
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gwida
Full Member
Posts: 109
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Post by gwida on Nov 8, 2011 22:11:30 GMT -5
Being stuck in some limbo is preferable to dealing with all of this! No it is not! I feel like my SS PL self had been stuck in a sick sort of limbo for a good sixty-odd years. I felt like dying would take the anger, the pain, the stress away. I felt like dying would provide an empty slate -- it did not. Instead, the only thing that came out as a result, was that I was now forced to walk around on this earth, watching others die, feeling their pain, yet knowing there was nothing I could to help them, nor help myself for that matter. Don't give up hope; there's a reason you're feeling all of this. Yes, I believe that dying and not dealing with one's emotions prior to crossing over can carry-over into one's next existence. And yes, it is over-whelming, but dying and thinking the pain will go away won't bring you much luck; you'll still feel it, you just won't be able to die again. Work through that grief, and you'll find underlying reasons you may not have noticed before.
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Post by Leutnantzursee on Nov 9, 2011 6:15:13 GMT -5
Hi Eiszeit thanks for the welcome - its nice to meet you too:-)
You know I've been saying there's something about this time of year for me and depression too. In part I'm sure we all get prey to SADS as the days grow shorter, but maybe its also because this is the month of war remembrance. It's like its genetically keyed into us to recall 'lest we forget'. But I certainly know what you mean about a sense of gathering darkness. You must be a similar age to my daughter, she's flunked her degree and is back home with us, minus a degree with depression and a sense of futility about her future. It really is hard for your generation, I know with my own girls, it isn't like when I was young, you could get a job and a FREE higher education, now you have the prospect of re-paying a huge loan and never being able to afford a house of your own. But you know maybe that will change. People seem to make it and they seem to get by and I sometimes wonder if we're all guilty of a little terror in regards to the world and what goes on today. Is it any wonder? We lived through war, we expect to duck from the bombs and bullets, we might expect to be arrested, tortured and killed, we might expect to lose our loved ones. Maybe we all operate from an old worn out tape of what we can expect from life, which is pain and terror. Objectively we probably have it a whole lot better than the WW2 generation, even before hostilities began, I think in the modern age we suffer the dilemma of too much choice and too much technology! I don't think its disrespectful to present day servicemen and women to say we might be suffering PTSD, in fact I feel like I need to tell them that its wise to try and heal NOW or else you'll carry it into your next life. Can you imagine the number of souls right now who are undergoing memories of war? All wars perhaps, from the Roman campaigns to Vietnam and everything in between. How many BILLIONS of souls are manifesting this pain right now as part of the ascension clearing? Is it any wonder the energy feels 'mad' at the moment? I dunno....just a train of thought:-)
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