gwida
Full Member
Posts: 109
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Post by gwida on Jul 10, 2011 0:03:08 GMT -5
Hi inhaltslos!
Thank you so much for starting this thread! ^^ I had an "automatic writing" episode (or so I think) around 01:00. I didn't even have to think about what I wrote -- the sentences just poured out of my head and onto the paper. However, I'm only 50/50 on this because about a month or so prior to this "automatic writing" I had watched the movie "Suckerpunch". I don't know; perhaps it struck a cord within me... :/
Anyway, here's what I wrote (please don't think I'm crazy. It took me until the 25th of June to talk about this to my best friend!)
I don't know how to feel for you. Maybe if I had been born some other way, my life would have been different. I, however, cannot imagine it being any other way. My family moved from a foreign country long ago. God, the years seemed to have passed unto themselves. Sometimes I really felt like crying, curling up into a ball in the corner and die at night. That never happened. The pain lived on. YOU lived on. I did not. I was bound in chains, these merciless chains -- strapped forever to a chair in a dank, empty corner of my mind which did not want to go.
I grew up in Glasgow, though only have the faintest memories of it as a kid. The rest of my fate was passed by in Moscow, then Italy and finally, France. I have very little recollection of my mother, or my father, for that instance. My brother and sister -- 6 and 12 at the time -- did not make it to adulthood. One succumbed to pneumonia from fluid inspiration whilst the other one died from a high fever.
There was a breeze in the trees running through them like fingers caressing the soft hair of a child. Thinking about it brought back memories of my mother -- kind, blonde-haired and blue-eyed -- the kind you'd see in a 1950's Bavarian household advertisement -- only she was better. Strange that, how so few memories could bring back so many tears, and I cried incessantly and I wept for days, months on end.
Then came the change. I was deported, herded like cattle or sheep into a truck and driven away. They took me to a building. Imagine an abbey with sinister, blackened walls, a high iron fence, with those arrow-tips on them and, at the end of the gate, a set of double, heavy wooden doors. I was led inside these doors to a man dressed in white. He was a rather robust, shortish man, with a rather heavy square jaw and face. His nose had a slight arch in it, his dark brown to black hair beginning to grey and turn white and he wore thick, rounded glasses behind which sat hidden steel-gray eyes, half-concealed beneath black, bushy, lightly curved eyebrows. His lips were tight and thin, drawn very close together as though he were thinking of something which constantly displeased him. He had rounded ears, and sideburns which joined up into his beard, beginning to grow promisingly due to 1 week lack of shaving.
"Bring her in here," was all he said. His voice had a raspy, disquieting tone to it, unsettling a soul...
I remember the day he first fed me. It was pouring down with rain outside and I was seated on a chair, morosely watching the rain go by. Drip, drip, drip, patter, patter. My legs were drawn up to my chest on a woven stool. I sat there in my dark, barren room watching the rain go by when I heard a knock at the door. He didn't even wait for a "come in" sign from me, completely intruding on my privacy. I felt a hot, heavy hand on my shoulder give me a tight squeeze.
“It's time to eat," was all that he said. I did not argue, but got up and walked out the room with him.
"Here," he said when we reached ‘the kitchen’. "Eat," I did so, picking up the wooden spoon. I started shoveling down the food compulsively, not knowing what lay ahead. "Good, very good,"he said. Then I watched him flipping over his note pad and scribble something down. I was worried. Sick.
I began to feel nauseous in a few short moments, vomiting up my porridge. This seemed to please the man, and he scribbled something away on his pad, smiling, nodding to me once before walking away. I felt the need to go back into my room, yet I could not because I was too scared. I stayed where I was, too afraid to move, alone in my sickness, hunger and pain. It did not matter to him whether I died, but it did to me. What kind of man was this man?
Written on: 31/05/2011.
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Post by Storm on Jul 10, 2011 6:33:14 GMT -5
Hey Inhaltslos,
Some very good points and information.
When I get what appear to be memories it is almost like being on a drug of some sort, (not that I have much experience of drugs), but from the experience I have had with them, that's what it can feel like.
And I also get deep, deep feelings in my belly as I am getting them. I do not try and get memories. I never meditate to try and get them. I never ask for them and I never actually want them. They are just flashes, fragments, but the deep feelings I get with them are what seem to suggest that it is more than just a random thought. However, I still struggle with it. As the brains of these people I have possibly been in a past life have decomposed to nothing, where is this information recorded? Did it imprint upon my soul/spirit? And if so, then why is it usually pretty trivial and mudane stuff?
I wish quantum had got to a place whereby some of this stuff could be answered, for real.
I am in a very doubting place again right now. Not doubting of others, but of myself. I think really with me it is because I do not want my situation to be true. But then who in their right mind would.......
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Post by Storm on Jul 10, 2011 6:56:12 GMT -5
While I am thinking about where these memories are recorded I will throw in another theory of mine.
When I first found my very well researched PL I wondered if somehow my spirit connected and interacted with his DNA.
The Bible tells us to be buried. However other faiths tell us to be cremated. Hindus are cremated and it is suggested that for this reason they can reincarnate quicker and more free of the ties of the former life. But... they have a rigid Caste system so theoretically they are always going to reincarnate back to pretty much the same type of life, and so would probably 'find' themselves and their identity pretty easily, because the circumstances are probably very similar in the new life to the one they left behind.
Now with those who live in a culture without such a rigid social structure, finding our true self identity can be pretty difficult, and notice the emphasis in western culture on finding one's true self. Add this to the potential 'interference' from PL DNA in the ground possibly interacting with our new consciousness maybe even utilising the earth grid to locate us, (my other PL actually pulled me to his grave in dreams, where I was shown the grave and it is exact, this was when I was living 300 miles away), and stuff can get very confusing for us!
Now in the case of my other PL I am genetically related to him in that we share a common ancestor going back to the time of the Crusades. We only established that after my PL research, whereupon my Mum, (who is in law and not the type to go off on tangents), did our family tree and found the connection. she felt sure that had I been this person, who was VERY proud of and into his Plantagenet bloodline, he would have wanted to reincarnate back to that general bloodline. Seems like he did......our respective families married in together and were even dissenting Barons together who took on the King in the 12th or 13th Century, lol!
Does the Bible tell us to be buried so that our prior DNA is in the ground and potentially capable of being accessed in some way by our new consciousness, so we can also carry on developing that essential "I Am" self? Just as those who live in such a rigid Caste system can probably easily pick up from where they left off as the circumstances they come back to may be so similar to last time that they effectively trigger the "I Am" of that being all over again?
I don't know, I am getting deep here, lol, but this is such a FASCINATING subject. and that may be one potential explaination as to how we can access these PL 'memories' in the first place, especially the trivial seeming ones which one would not assume were big enough to imprint on the soul. Obviously severe trauma and ecstatic joy and of course good old love do probably imprint on the soul, because they are powerful enough.
I struggle with the burning of Nazi victims to ash because that would also potentially rob those beings of some of their "I Am" memories as well as their actual lives. But they say Jews often reincarnate back to Jewish incarnations, so hopefully many of them will be able to pick up their "I Am" and continue on their personal soul journey too. But I think cremation needs to be thought about carefully. If one wants to forget who one has been and be more freed of earthly ties, fair enough. Personally I have instructed my family in my Will to bury me. Under NO circumstances do I want to be cremated because theoretically then the last actual DNA of any of my lifetimes could be this SS man's and I do not want to pick up from that again. Nor do I want to be judged as him if this Revelations Judgement stuff isn't just a load of old nonsense. I want to be judged as me, now, today. And I do really fear that if I were to be cremated then I may be stuck with Herr Bast*rd as my last "I Am" identity. And if that happens well, I may as well march myself into the darned lake of fire/spiritual smelting works to be recycled into something abit nicer.......
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Post by doctorwhat on Jul 10, 2011 7:42:13 GMT -5
When I get what appear to be memories it is almost like being on a drug of some sort, (not that I have much experience of drugs), but from the experience I have had with them, that's what it can feel like. And I also get deep, deep feelings in my belly as I am getting them. same here. it feels like i took 2 benadryls and drank an energy drink at the same time. i've done that myself haha, and that's what it feels like. or like my soul's trying to leave my body but since i'm still alive it cant, unless that made me sound crazy lol. but i know how you feel about it feeling different... |
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Post by doctorwhat on Jul 10, 2011 7:55:14 GMT -5
she felt sure that had I been this person, who was VERY proud of and into his Plantagenet bloodline, he would have wanted to reincarnate back to that general bloodline. Seems like he did......our respective families married in together and were even dissenting Barons together who took on the King in the 12th or 13th Century, lol! on a sidenote : we could be related (distantly). i have Lancastrian & Plantagenet blood - when they married into the Plantagenet side in the 1400s but inhaltsos - nice thread  thank you for starting it! |
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gwida
Full Member
Posts: 109
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Post by gwida on Jul 10, 2011 14:45:05 GMT -5
Hello and thanks!
Nope, I don't think you're crazy at all. The same friend who told me that all memories should be considered false until verified? Yeah, they also have used automatic writing with great success!
There are a lot of details you could investigate here. Off the top olf my head, I suggest maybe drawing the abbey while it's fresh in your mind. I know the military would commandeer large estates, so it makes sense. It would probably take time to research the abbey (if it's even still in exitence) but it's a start.
How did you feel when you were writing it?
When I was writing THAT, I felt really, really sad. I've never felt grief before, but that's probably the closest I could get to how I felt then. And also tired (come on! It was one o'clock in the morning!) I guess I could draw the abbey up. Stuff that's important tends to stick in my mind more or less vividly enough for me to draw it for a year! That sounds great, thanks! =^-^= I'll be sure to try and research it! (If I can).
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Post by Laurasia on Jul 10, 2011 17:42:46 GMT -5
Hi Inhaltslos.
What a wonderful thread! Thank you very much for starting it. ;D
For myself past life memories are very vivid & heavy, as you mentioned. And yes, unlike dreams, the details do not fade with time. The way that I typically experience them makes them stand out as well. In many cases the memory will completely overtake my mind. (This was particularly distressing for me when it happened on a walk along my rural country road.) If it is a particularly important memory this can last for some time as well. (When I first recalled Hans' suicide Miss Bothmann had to come into the room & pull me out of the memory.)
Sincerely,
Laurasia
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Post by Laurasia on Jul 10, 2011 19:22:21 GMT -5
Hi Inhaltslos. You've never had a recollection while awake, eh? I, conversely, have almost never had them when I was asleep. Yes, it often happens at times such as riding in a car, walking, etc...but I usually also need to be listening to music as well.  There are times when a recollection will just come up out of the blue though. Those are generally the quicker ones however. Sincerely, Laurasia |
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Post by Storm on Jul 11, 2011 6:48:36 GMT -5
Oh, I only get memories awake. I mean, I have had a few of what may be memories in dreams, but mine take me totally by surprise.
Like I will be sitting here composing an email about something work related listening to some ambient German or Norwegian music and BANG...... suddenly I 'remember' walking down a street after a rally, heading towards a bar, feeling great. Or I will be in a meeting and suddenly I will get a flash of a man coming into my office with a file I am eager to look at.
The ones that get me the most are the ones, like that walk to the bar after the rally where I am suddenly filled with overwhelming "OMG!" because it is so so real to me. Like a memory in this life, but it has a surreal almost ecstatic edge to it that tells me "Oh, this is real, this is real to me. This happened. This was part of my experience and my life in the same way typing about it is now, today." Then I often get that feeling of spiritual energy pouring into me, like illumination, and when I have experienced these recalls when someone else is around they see the difference in me. I start to glow, because I get so 'in spirit'. Most of my friends and some colleagues appreciate I am a very spiritual person so they recognise it.
One of the hardest things I am facing are these feelings of beauty and awe and wonderment I get when I recall some of this SS man's memories, (if that is what I am doing). Because he is such a devastating character, I feel I should not take any joy or sense of beauty or wonder from anything to do with him.
Of course there is the other reaction, where I will become distraught and decide to hide for a while until I feel I am back here, totally in this reality. It is almost like these are mini time shifts, (which I have also experienced to a degree). And a part of me is really back there, well my consciousness/my emotions are.
But theye always come out of the blue. Often when I am listening to music. And always when I am not thinking about this guy. In fact they tend to come when I start to slip away from him.....like a reminder.
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Post by Miss Bothmann on Jul 11, 2011 14:27:13 GMT -5
Inhaltslos: thank you so much for making a thread like this one. I agree with you that all current members as well as all future members will benefit strongly from it.
As for my PL memories, I tend to get the majority of them either in dreams or meditation. I do not get them out of the blue a lot, but when I do I feel really weird first. My Brow chakra will start to tingle, and I may even get a little lightheaded or nauseous. That is when I know that I have to retreat to somewhere quiet and meditate until the memory comes through. I am always a bit apprehensive at this because I never know exactly what is going to come through. I do not know if the memory is going to make me sad, ecstatic, etc. I usually have paper right beside me so that I can jot down notes as I am recalling so that I do not forget anything later.
Yes, my past life memories never fade either...in fact, they become crystal clear because sometimes I tend to have the same one more than once.
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Post by msmir on Jul 12, 2011 13:25:34 GMT -5
Mine are fuzzy but at the same time I know they are real, they are still clear enough. But I was also a child when I died. I have some memories of things that happened when I was a child in this life... but those memories are also fuzzy for that reason, and I believe my memories are not 100% clear from my last life is due to the fact I was a child as well.
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Post by Laurasia on Jul 16, 2011 17:34:43 GMT -5
Hi Inhaltslos.
Of course you can start a thread about the medical reason for the nausea that comes with past life recall. I would certainly like to know what it is. I hate the feeling! LOL!
Miss Bothmann is a much better "proper meditator" than I am, so she's better equipped to offer her own methods. I tend to be like you if I try "proper" meditating. I usually just try to relax myself as much as possible instead of trying to focus on any certain thing. I have been able to trick myself into having memories by relaxing while thinking of other recollections that I've already have. Sometimes I get lucky & the recollections either goes on for longer or it leads me to another recollection from that particular lifetime. Generally for me once meditation becomes "structured" I lose my ability to do it. LOL!
Sincerely,
Laurasia
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Post by Laurasia on Jul 19, 2011 18:41:55 GMT -5
Oh I'm sure that having a medical professional around is a wonderful treat for you, hon! The thread itself may not be "thrilling", but I think that it would definitely be of interest to people who have experienced the phenomena so feel free to put it up. ;D
Sincerely,
Laurasia
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Post by Miss Bothmann on Jul 21, 2011 15:47:28 GMT -5
LOL! A lot of the time, I am just trying to do the whole "meditate to relax after a busy day thing", but I end up getting much more than I intend. Oddly, if I try to meditate with the sole purpose of retrieving PL memories..a lot of the times I come up empty handed. They usually tend to pop up out of the blue when I am in the "alpha" state (altered state of consciousness).
As to the methods, I usually stick with the basics. If I am trying to get memories from my WW2 life as Anna, then I use trigger objects. I will listen to music from the period while I have candles lit throughout the room. Then, I do a few moments of deep breathing and relaxation before I attempt anything. Then I ask my spirit guide to show me anything that I need to know from that particular PL in this moment in time. Sometimes I get something, sometimes I do not. Also, a lot of times, I get memories that I have already had..but they come through a little more clearer or "extend" a little more than the previous memory. Also, I use a pendulum at times as well as automatic writing to try to obtain specific information.
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thank you for starting it!
There are times when a recollection will just come up out of the blue though. Those are generally the quicker ones however. 
