Members Only forum?

[Iseke]

I was wondering if we could at some point have a member's only private forum to share things we'd rather not have come up publicly or to non-members who are checking us out? It'd be good to have a section where we can talk about more sensitive things without having to worry about who is reading it if it's something we only want to discuss with members.

Thank you for your time, and for all your hard work on the forum!

[msmir]

I will see what I can do Iseke I think it is a good idea as well personally

[sweetlunapie]

I agree with you, for sure.
This whole topic is very sensitive for most of us, and while communicating our deeper feelings to one another certainly creates a safe environment that is conducive to healing, it's sometimes difficult to open up about some memories and feelings knowing that anyone can read them. It really can make a member hold back. Besides that, maybe unregistered lurkers will have more motivation to join.

It's really very tough on an emotional level to have to weigh the pros and cons whenever making a post for people, I'm sure. If there were even just one part of the board that members could see, that would help greatly, I think.

[msmir]

Luna you are completely right about this. Unfortunately I do not call the shots on this but all I can do is make another suggestion. Let me see what I can do.

[privatetucker]

Oct 8, 2010 15:34:06 GMT -5 @sweetlunapie said:

I agree with you, for sure.
This whole topic is very sensitive for most of us, and while communicating our deeper feelings to one another certainly creates a safe environment that is conducive to healing, it's sometimes difficult to open up about some memories and feelings knowing that anyone can read them. It really can make a member hold back. Besides that, maybe unregistered lurkers will have more motivation to join.

It's really very tough on an emotional level to have to weigh the pros and cons whenever making a post for people, I'm sure. If there were even just one part of the board that members could see, that would help greatly, I think.

I am a bit too out of it to be completely concise here, but it seems Luna has already done the job for me, pretty much saying what I think about it. So yeah, that. ^

[sweetlunapie]

Haha!

[Laurasia]

Hello everyone.

Miriam did approach me about this topic & I really have to say that I don't see the need for such a space within our small forum at this point.

As far as privacy goes, if a troll really did want to read something that any of us had written all they would need to do is create an account & then log into the site. Trolls, seemingly having nothing to do but waste time, have no trouble taking the few minutes needed to do this. So a "members only" forum does virtually nothing to protect what is posted from being viewed anyway.

Now I have used password protected forums (regardless of the size a forum) for extremely sensitive material, such as rape/molestation survivors' support. But I have yet to see anything even approaching such type of conversations regularly here on our forum. In most cases, my stance is that if you do not feel comfortable posting something on the boards than send it to the person via PM, but you guys seem to be referring to wanting to carry on full conversations with multiple members.

So perhaps if you guys could give me some examples of the types of posts that you are feeling you cannot post on the boards I would understand better? What exactly is it that you guys are wanting to converse about which cannot be done within one of the existing forums & must be done privately? If it is a genuine need of our community than so be it, I just don't see the necessity right now.

Sincerely,
Laurasia

[sweetlunapie]

Laurasia, I understand that you see the forum as a very small place and feel it is not necessary to put a private section on it, and that's somewhat understandable, but as members, our prospective is different since we see this forum as almost a support group and not as the owners (trying to make it accessible to others, growing the community, etc.). You really did nail it when you said that we want a private place to have group discussions; to be able open up to each other on a wider scale even though most of us are private people.

To be perfectly honest, if there were a private section, I'd ask to have my entire memory thread moved to it because I'm not posting memories to get my jollies out of having as many people read them as I can get...it's because after being here for a while, I have come to have a certain trust for the members of this board. I have 2 choices: share with ANYONE or don't post at all. Thereprobably are people who will be just as guarded about this topic as they would about being molested, so there's no one can guess other people's privacy level by comparing it to their own. I guess I could send PMs out to everyone on the board, but not everyone is interested (that could easily be accomplished through email, then it'd be redundant to use the forum). There's no 3rd choice unless there's a private board. I'm not saying that the ENTIRE forum should be private...just one board on the forum. That's just my opinion.

As for trolls, you're absolutely right. BUT...you are forgetting that these posts, unless private CAN show up on Google. Also, I have come across conspiracy theorists websites and white supremecist forums on Google who post forum messages from forums like this and criticize or just make fun of people like us. My question is, why make it easy for them? We simply have no sure way to stop them, but some of the most active forum members who have posted on this thread would probably feel a lot safer this way, even if it is just one giant mind f&$~.

[Laurasia]

Thank you for replying to inquiry Luna. I can understand a bit more what you are saying now. I do still have issues with the reasoning behind it though. Though do not take that as being a definite no on the topic. I just want to explore this more & get more input from more members on the matter.

And please know that I do not view our community through the lens of merely "being the owner", it is a support system for myself as well. Though I will honestly say, as the owner, that I would not make the entire board protected because if no one sees it they cannot utilize it.

I have very often seen extreme paranoia amongst reincarnated Nazis (&, yes, I am aware that you were a Holocaust victim & not a Nazi yourself Luna ) & it is not something that I care to encourage, as it is very damaging to many of these people. Do not take that as me saying that any of you are neurotic or paranoid either. I simply want to make sure that our community does not foster such behavior in its' members. You stated that if such a forum were to be created here you would want your memory thread moved there (which would not be a problem). I do have a concern about such things though.....would members then restrict their activity to only the protected board on the forum? That would effectively choke the life out of the forum.

As far as other groups pulling up posts via search engines & making fun of any of us.....We can't control what anyone else does anywhere else on the web. If people want to poke fun & mock us then they will. I personally don't concern myself with what such people think, especially people in those types of groups. I have better things to spend my energy on & stress over. But again, this reasoning makes me wonder if member activity would be restricted to the one protected forum if it were available.

I look forward to hearing everyone's thoughts on all of this.

Sincerely,
Laurasia

[sweetlunapie]

Laurasia, I do see your points, and I totally understand that you'd like to hear from more forum members before making a decision. I hope that you do not think I implied that you are only seeing this forum as an owner, because as you stated, that is not true! I'm just saying that the fact that it is your forum will influence your decision, and that is quite legitimate.

It wouldn't choke the life out of the forum, I'm sure of that. The lurkers might lose some fodder, but the active members could still read and post. I'd only put private stuff on there, not everything, haha!

Unfortunately, reincarnated Nazis are most likely going to stay secretive, no matter if this board is public or private. :/ Even though they have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, they will probably stay that way. Poor Nazis...

[msmir]

Laurasia, I understand your reasoning as to why you don't want to add a private area but I am also understanding Luna's point as well. There have been others... who are in favor of this too as you can see in this thread. I know the decision is entirely up to you.. but I would like to make a suggestion. How about if you do put an area for only members on the board just making it clear to them that only very, very private discussions should only go there. For more general discussions they must be in the other accessible areas on the board. Make that as a rule.. because yes, I agree that the board needs to be accessible or else no one will know about it but there may be things that members here already would want to discuss but are not yet comfortable about it since there is no private section. Just something to consider.

[Miss Bothmann]

After reading the contents of this thread I am going to have to say that I am neutral on the subject. I see both sides of the coin, and while I would never feel the need to hide my recollections from anyone, others may feel that they need to. I care not what white supremicist groups or troublemakers think or say to be honest. My question would be this: Does everyone really feel the need to have this forum made for privacy like expressed (which is fine), or is it really disguising paranoia about what others think about us ? If this forum does come to fruition, I sgree with miriam on making some sort of rule that all activity on the board CANNOT be posted in there. If there were abuse of it, then the forum could simply be taken back down. Ultimately this is Laurasia's decision and I will back whatever choice she makes 100%. She has run enough sites to know what will be the best thing for the members.

blessed be

[euskanoravian]

I am in favor of having a protected area of the forum for members only. I do not have anything to hide regarding my recollections. Nonetheless, there may be things I would love to discuss with other existing members that I would not want any lurkers to see.

Blessed Be,
Andi

[sweetlunapie]

I feel the need to say that I'm not in favor of a private board for the explicit desire to HIDE my past life experiences, but more that I just don't think of them as something I share with just anyone. You guys are special cases.

[Laurasia]

Alright. First I am thankful to everyone who has voiced their opinions on this matter & helped me to better understand why it is being requested. I am planning on creating such a forum, though with some serious conditions. Only very personal things will be posted in there. As far as members' general memories...they will be left, or moved, into the general recollection forum. This is because I feel that it is important for people to be able to see that we are indeed actively sharing such things with one another openly. While I get that many of you are saying that you do not want this forum in order to "hide" anything, that is how it is coming across (after all a "members only forum" is specifically meant to hide material from non-members ) & I created this forum so that we would no longer feel the need to hide from others. However I am willing to give this a chance, so long as it is not going to be abused. I would be interested to see the type of material that does get added to it.

So give me some time to work out exactly how I am going to set it up, what guidelines I feel may be necessary for it, etc & we will see how it goes. Hopefully this compromise will be able to serve everyone's needs well.

Sincerely,
Laurasia