Auschwitz-Birkenau victim

[miriam4310]

Hi. Very new to this and am on quite a path of self discovery. I was born and raised a Roman Catholic (this life), then parents became Baptists and then I re-verted back to Catholicism when I was 21. I have always had a love for the Jewish people and everything about Judaism fascinated me and I am drawn to certain objects and people. Currently I am in the process of converting.

I read a book, "Beyond the Ashes" by Rabbi Yonassan Gershom and was blown away. I could identify, though I cannot say I have flashbacks (though at times when I look down at a gravel surface with rocks I get a slight flashback to something), but I can say I have always fervently read almost any book I can get my hands on about the Holocaust. I read it with such intensity that I forget where I am in the present. Sometimes I can almost feel the pain of the victims.

I have also always had a fascination with reading suicide stories and deciphering suicide notes - what drives people to the brink etc. I want to say it's a sick attraction, but something deeper in my soul tells me I must read about it to lay it to rest.

As I said above, I get a weird feeling when I look down at a gravel surface. I also cannot tolerate tags of ANY kind in any of my clothing. I rip them out immediately. The scratching on my neck or on the jeans is almost unbearable. I cannot even pick up anything that is wool. I also despise being barefoot - even in the summer. I have to have soft knee socks on all the time.

I also suffer from clinical depression, anxiety and horrible migraine headaches for about 32 years now.

Is this all related? I don't know. But I am glad I can come here and share.

[Storm]

Hello and a sincere welcome. Your fascination could indicate a possible suicide in a camp, maybe? Or knowledge of suicide, maybe of someone you loved? And many of the other things you describe do sound as though they could be Holocaust reincarnation related. I am so sorry about the clinical depression and migraines, but once again many of those on all sides of the Holocaust/WWII fence who are back do have such issues, so you are certainly not alone, and people on this forum are very understanding of eachother's stories and journeys, so you are in the right place . I am only recently discovering that some of my own issues, including what I now feel is an actual phobia, are related to my probable PL in an SS senior command role. It's kind of weird when the links start to form and pieces of a jigsaw you never anticipated or saw the picture of start to fall into place.

Msmir, our global Mod is a past life astrologer and I highly recommend her readings. She offers a substantial discount for members and has an endorsement from Rabbi Gershom. She knows her stuff and may be able to help you piece more together when and if you feel ready to. I actually wanted to disprove my situation, (well who in their right mind wouldn't?!). Sadly it did the opposite, but Msmir's reading did help me to face this and start on a very long winding road to healing, both others and maybe even myself if I am very lucky. Msmir is also a reincarnated Auschwitz Victim.

Once again, welcome and many blessings on your healing journey.

[eiszeit]

Hallo, Miriam! Welcome to the forums.

From what you've described, I'd say a past life is possible, especially given the fascination with Judaism and suicide notes. A lot of us have fascinations or phobias that make no sense by themselves, but when put in a greater context, make perfect sense.

I look forward to seeing you here on the forums. I'm glad you found us. It's so reassuring to know there are others out there who had these experiences. I think it's vital to the healing process to know others going through the same experience. I wish you luck on your journey and future endeavors.

Eiszeit

[gerhardt]

I would also like to welcome Miriam.

The things you describe certainly seem to indicate something-who knows yet what-but I wish you good luck and peace in its discovery. And most of all, I ask you to be kind to yourself as you remember the details of whoever you may have been before.

Gerhardt

[Laurasia]

Hello Miriam.

Welcome to the forum. We are certainly glad that you were able to find us as well. The things that you are describing could very well point to your having experienced a past life during the Holocaust, as many of the things that you mentioned are also shared with the rest of us as well. The triggers, ailments, fascinations, etc. And those things are experienced by many people across the board, regardless of which side of the Holocaust they were on back then as well.

I would also suggest that you have some contact with our Global Moderator, Msmir; even if just to talk. She was also a victim at Auschwitz & is highly intuitive & caring in general. But if you feel that you are ready for something like an astrological past life reading she is definately the person to approach for such intense work.

Of course, if you are not ready for such a step that is perfectly fine as well. There is absolutely no need to rush force yourself into all of these if you are not ready for them on a soul level. Doing so is actually discouraged since trying to force yourself into dealing with things that you are not ready for often has some nasty affects. We are all here to help you in whatever way you need at the time...be that simply by listening, by discussing, or by offering more direct services.

I hope that you enjoy yourself here with us. If you have any questions or concerns feel free to PM either myself or Msmir at any time.

Sincerely,
Laurasia

[Leutnantzursee]

Hello Miriam and welcome to SR :-)

I'm so sorry to hear about your distressing memories and intuitions, they usually come to us early in life and i believe when we're ready the truth begins to unfold, whether through dreams or spontaneous recall. As others have reiterated, this is a safe and caring community, I hope you will feel free to explore more of your past life as it unfolds, and as most of us here have come to understand - we all suffer the same phobias and issues with depression and anxiety in this life, regardless of which side we ended up on. If you're interested, there's a yahoo group called 'Unlock the door' which I used to belong to (as I once thought I'd been in a concentration camp) this is specifically for victims of the Holocaust and you may feel more comfortable with them to begin with, I could completely understand your reservations in connecting to ex-perpetrators at this early stage, so it might be worth checking out should you feel inclined :-)

I hope you find healing and are able to explore these things here, this is a very caring and loving community as I say!

All the very best
Liz

[msmir]

Hi Miriam, (my name too) I am sorry for being a bit late and just want to welcome you. As Laurasia said I am also an Auschwitz reincarnated victim and you may want to check out my blog which is in my signature which delivers a lot of info on Holocaust reincarnation and really reincarnation in general. These issues in regards to Judaism and suicide I feel stems from your past life. Let me know if I can help in anyway