Post by empathicus on Sept 10, 2011 14:52:21 GMT -5
I recently went to someone who does Edgar Caycee style readings (past lives, health readings etc.) I learned about 4 different past lives from which the karma is heavily effecting me now, spanning from 4000 B.C. up to the most recent in which i was a nazi soldier who realized once he reached combat that theres no glory in war and we were fighting for someones pride. There was no way to justify the horror of what we were doing. My soul was damaged but there was no backing out so i killed and died. I was 20 years old. I believe that after my death i stayed and watched the horrors of the war unfold because i died traumatically and my confused soul couldn't let go of the terrible things that were happening. I tormented myself by witnessing as much pain and suffering and fear as i could.
I'll leave the other past lives out as they don't really belong here per say. Anyway i was told that in my German life I had been getting into metaphysics and i was a very intelligent kid. Smart enough that if I would have followed my own heart and done what was my calling I could have avoided being in the war. But my father was big on god and country and all the b.s. that still brainwashes kids into killing each other for the agendas of cowardly old men to this day. Not my fathers fault he was just brainwashed too. So I gave in to the pressure of the world around me and the influences I was brought up with and was a part of something terrible. It is interesting to note that in this incarnation I have struggled with and against the soldier mentality and created many painful dramas to hurt myself with this conflict. Also I had an obsession with weapons growing up and I actually own the same bayonet and rifle used by many German infantry at the time. Who knows, they may have even been the same exact ones i owned/used then. Don't worry, I've always been responsible and never hurt or threatened to hurt anyone with these weapons. I keep them safely hidden away where they wont hurt anyone else.
I'm actually cursed with the gift of being an empath in this incarnation (which i deserve). I pick up every ones emotions around me and its absolutely overwhelming for one person to try to process all that, i can't. Also I suffer constantly inside with the feelings of horror connected to all the suffering in the world. I'm constantly plagued by visions, sensations and terrible fear of the most horrible kinds of suffering people can inflict on each other. I'm not going into any details on that because these kinds of sick thoughts are seriously harmful to a persons mind and probably to their soul as well. There's a good chance i won't live very long because of it, i feel that my heart could actually brake from what i feel sometimes. I'm not complaining, this is where im at for very real reasons and i accept it.
The past life reading explained a great deal to me about why i am the way i am and why ive always done things to hurt myself. I've literally set up elaborate scenarios subconsciously just to set myself up for being hurt so bad i wanted badly to never have existed many times. It actually feels very good to know why finally.
Anyway the real reason I couldn't resist joining this forum is this! To any and all still suffering from having been victims of the madness inflicted by the nazi's I just want to say, i feel you, and I'm very very very sorry that more of us didn't have the courage and wisdom to resist what we were taught and preached and guided and finally forced to do. I'm sure there were many other nazi's who realized the error of their ways and the horror of what they were a part of but didn't know how to get out of what they were entangled in. My failure costed lives and contributed to pain and fear and suffering and i am so so sorry. Please forgive fools like me for your own sake so you don't have to burn with anger or fear. I love you all, whichever side you were on. I believe we are all one but that truth is hidden from us while here in the 3d material earth level we are so caught up in now. And that's where the madness insues time and time again. God Bless love and peace.
I'll leave the other past lives out as they don't really belong here per say. Anyway i was told that in my German life I had been getting into metaphysics and i was a very intelligent kid. Smart enough that if I would have followed my own heart and done what was my calling I could have avoided being in the war. But my father was big on god and country and all the b.s. that still brainwashes kids into killing each other for the agendas of cowardly old men to this day. Not my fathers fault he was just brainwashed too. So I gave in to the pressure of the world around me and the influences I was brought up with and was a part of something terrible. It is interesting to note that in this incarnation I have struggled with and against the soldier mentality and created many painful dramas to hurt myself with this conflict. Also I had an obsession with weapons growing up and I actually own the same bayonet and rifle used by many German infantry at the time. Who knows, they may have even been the same exact ones i owned/used then. Don't worry, I've always been responsible and never hurt or threatened to hurt anyone with these weapons. I keep them safely hidden away where they wont hurt anyone else.
I'm actually cursed with the gift of being an empath in this incarnation (which i deserve). I pick up every ones emotions around me and its absolutely overwhelming for one person to try to process all that, i can't. Also I suffer constantly inside with the feelings of horror connected to all the suffering in the world. I'm constantly plagued by visions, sensations and terrible fear of the most horrible kinds of suffering people can inflict on each other. I'm not going into any details on that because these kinds of sick thoughts are seriously harmful to a persons mind and probably to their soul as well. There's a good chance i won't live very long because of it, i feel that my heart could actually brake from what i feel sometimes. I'm not complaining, this is where im at for very real reasons and i accept it.
The past life reading explained a great deal to me about why i am the way i am and why ive always done things to hurt myself. I've literally set up elaborate scenarios subconsciously just to set myself up for being hurt so bad i wanted badly to never have existed many times. It actually feels very good to know why finally.
Anyway the real reason I couldn't resist joining this forum is this! To any and all still suffering from having been victims of the madness inflicted by the nazi's I just want to say, i feel you, and I'm very very very sorry that more of us didn't have the courage and wisdom to resist what we were taught and preached and guided and finally forced to do. I'm sure there were many other nazi's who realized the error of their ways and the horror of what they were a part of but didn't know how to get out of what they were entangled in. My failure costed lives and contributed to pain and fear and suffering and i am so so sorry. Please forgive fools like me for your own sake so you don't have to burn with anger or fear. I love you all, whichever side you were on. I believe we are all one but that truth is hidden from us while here in the 3d material earth level we are so caught up in now. And that's where the madness insues time and time again. God Bless love and peace.