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Post by doctorwhat on Apr 23, 2011 19:14:57 GMT -5
Access denied?  ?? yah, and i tried quite a few times. but i found axishistory.com, and i'm looking on there. i put his name in "search" and they have the transcript from the Ravensbruck trial. Heydrich is such a sad person. not sad, like he's sad all the time, but a sad impression i get from him  i cant explain it. totally different impression than i get from Mengele (learning that Johann was at quite a few selections with Mengele) or Eicke or any of the others. i'm looking at Johann trying to get a feel for him right now.  |
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Post by doctorwhat on Apr 23, 2011 19:27:10 GMT -5
I've also "come into" my femininity later in life. Mostly since my late 20s on. I never liked "girly" things when I was younger. In fact I had such gender issues that I longed for the time when I would be able to works steadily & save up for a sex change operation. Thankfully, by the time that I was able to do that, the overwhelming gender issues had lessened enough for me to no longer have such a complete need to physically be male. I do still have gender issues from time to time, but nowhere near enough to actually have gender reassignment. Nowadays I, usually, am more feminine than "tom-boyish". i was the same way. when i was younger, maybe til i was 22 or so, i was such a tomboy. and til i was maybe 7 or 8, i was convinced i was supposed to be a boy. i was an androgynous-looking little kid, and preferred short hair like a boy's haircut, and when people would ask me if i was a boy or girl, i'd tell people i was a boy. random people would just come out and ask but i'd always say "boy" and even in my early teens, i was contemplating a sex change, too. i would feel so uncomfortable in pink and girly colors and designs. i still wear a hat (my husband's camo Navy cap - he's in the Navy) or a newsboy cap. mainly because i'm allergic to the sun and my eyes are pretty sensitive to sunlight, so i wear a hat to shield my eyes from the direct light. i'm more feminine now, but i feel so uncomfortable in girly clothes like dresses/skirts/blouses unless theyre black. |
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Post by Storm on Apr 24, 2011 7:44:08 GMT -5
I freaked out at 3 when I totally realised that I was a girl after finding a book on anatomy. We had no male members of the family living with us so it was the first time I realised what I was missing. I was devastated. I actually made a plastercine one and wore it in my knickers so I had the bump, lol! How mortifying!
I cut my hair short at 8 and pretended to be a boy. Them I let it grow again. At 14, (I have just worked out it was around the time of my 'vision' of being that blonde SS officer), I cut it short again and bleached it blonde. I would think about what type of girl I would want to date if I were a guy. But I got happier with aspects of my femininity as I got older, and motherhood was the missing link for me. When I found out about being a man in my other well researched PL I did seriously consider a sex change at that point. I do have issues with being a an older woman, but I think I will be OK. There are aspects I rather like about being a woman, (power over men, perhaps? I do not know but I quite like when guys stare when I am looking good, even though I am never interested in doing anything about it when a guy chats me up). I find it amusing having the power to attract male attention this time around. It amuses me.
Oh, I am allergic to the sun too! I break out in this horrid prickly heat rash as my skin is so darned pale.
Yes, Heydrich was a very sad guy. I think in many ways I am quite sad too, but I am good at focusing on the good things and cheering myself up. I do get happy alot, but there has always been that sadness deep inside me. I guess that is how he felt too.
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Post by doctorwhat on Apr 24, 2011 9:52:53 GMT -5
I find it amusing having the power to attract male attention this time around. It amuses me. same here lol. i've got scars on my arms from when i was young and stupid and would lay out in the sun trying to get tan. in jr high it was fashionable to be tan (we lived on the east coast of the US, so everyone was tanned it seemed), and i wanted to be too. but i would burn so bad and i'd get blistered immediately, and now i have little white scars on my arms from it. if i'm out in the sun for over 20 minutes, i get a bad burn and start feeling sick |
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Post by Miss Bothmann on Apr 26, 2011 12:22:36 GMT -5
I know how you feel about the whole tanning issue. When I was in high school and I saw everyone else with these awesome tans that they got at the beach, I would always want one to match. However, no matter what sunblock that I tried to use, I would still end up with at least a minor sunburn. Not nearly to the extent that you have burned..I think I only had blisters a few times..but still annoying none the less. SS3: I agree with Laurasia that you have come a long way already in your acceptance and healing process.  I think that the more you slow down and actually contemplate on what you have already learned, I feel that you will go even further.
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Post by msmir on Apr 26, 2011 23:32:33 GMT -5
Oh gosh I also could never tan, my skin is too fair. I wanted to tan so badly... my son has my skin and can't also tan but my daughter is lucky to have that kind of skin. She tans nicely. And yes SS3 I agree as well Keep it up, slow and steady wins the race! |
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Post by Storm on Apr 27, 2011 6:47:52 GMT -5
Thank you so very much for the kind support, guys. I am in a very dark place right now. But I will do my best to cope and your friendship means so much to me xx
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Post by pixarfan on May 11, 2011 11:53:04 GMT -5
I know how you feel. One summer, my shoulders got so bad they became bubbly... then crunchy... then peeling... then still red (lovely, eh?) I call it being "lobsteresque."
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Post by rednight94 on Jul 6, 2011 22:12:38 GMT -5
Ha, that guy reminds me of the way I feel. Ever since I got my reading from MsMir I've been reading up on Dachau and trying to put proof to what she told me. Not to impugn her work, but so far the evidence I've found is slightly against what she said.
For example, she told me I was gassed, but there is much debate at to whether or not the gas chambers at Dachau were ever even used.
She told me I was gassed in 1942, but then I discovered the gas chamber had not been completed until 1943 in Barrack X (the newer crematorium). I informed her of this and she concluded I was right; I was gassed in 1943. Personally, I'm not quite sure the 'Gas Chambers' at Dachau were ever used at all. There are drains in the floor, which would eliminate 'Zyklon B' beads from being used as the method of killing. The shower heads are connected to nothing, which almost eliminates the possibility of Carbon Monoxide being the used. If the chamber was ever used at Dachau, it almost certainly resulted in a failed experiment.
Some believe the Disinfection Chambers were used as gas chambers, but they are void of the blue stain that is the result of multiple uses of 'Zyklon B.'
I also find MisMir's statement that she 'isn't good with names' to be terribly convenient on her part. I am in no way saying she is a fake, but my reading was certainly questionable. I will say this; in describing my personality she nearly hit the nail on the head.
What came off particularly strange to me, though, is the lack of emotion I feel towards what she described as my last life. It may be possible she tapped into someone else's spirit, but who knows.
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Post by Laurasia on Jul 10, 2011 17:17:36 GMT -5
Warning! Some content may be disturbing to some members!Hello Rednight. Gassings did not only take place within "gas chambers". My own death camp functioned exclusively with gas vans.  I do have to agree with your assumption that chambers were not filled with exhaust fumes either as the space is simply too large & takes far too long to sufficiently fill with a lethal amount of exhaust. Did the reading specifically state that you were killed at Dachau? Could it have been one of the many sattelite camps of Dachau instead? I wouldn't say that because she was unable to give you an actual name she gave you a "questionable reading". True psychic readings are not nearly as "all encompassing" as some people would like to think they are. Most often we are given generalities which we must piece together. There are no "silver spoons". Sincerely, Laurasia
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Post by rednight94 on Jul 10, 2011 21:22:11 GMT -5
Warning! Some content may be disturbing to some members!Hello Rednight. Gassings did not only take place within "gas chambers". My own death camp functioned exclusively with gas vans. I do have to agree with your assumption that chambers were not filled with exhaust fumes either as the space is simply too large & takes far too long to sufficiently fill with a lethal amount of exhaust. Did the reading specifically state that you were killed at Dachau? Could it have been one of the many sattelite camps of Dachau instead? I wouldn't say that because she was unable to give you an actual name she gave you a "questionable reading". True psychic readings are not nearly as "all encompassing" as some people would like to think they are. Most often we are given generalities which we must piece together. There are no "silver spoons". Sincerely, Laurasia Oh, darn! I was going to delete my comment, but too late! I thought it sounded a bit harsh... Honestly, I really did appreciate the reading, and I don't wish to sound ungrateful... Anyway, I'm only assuming I died at Dachau. According to her I was only in the camp for 3-5 months before dying, but I could have easily been moved during that time. And about the name, it does make sense that she wouldn't be able to know I suppose. |
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Post by rednight94 on Aug 7, 2011 21:08:14 GMT -5
I would like to apologize to MisMir. I believe I was out of line, and in no way was attempting to call her a fraud. I was being very cynical.
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Post by msmir on Aug 7, 2011 22:29:28 GMT -5
I did not see this until now until Rednight pointed that out. Firstly Laurasia thanks for stating that. And Rednight thank you for the apology, it's fine, no hard feelings by any means . I also want to mention like Laurasia had said that even the most world renown psychics are going to not necessarily tap into every bit of info. There are some things that remain fuzzy, especially if your soul is not ready to take the info. That could have played a part too in things if anything in the reading came off as vague. I would also rather have a psychic that could not get everything correct and say so, than one who purposely makes things up just because he or she thinks I want to hear it. I have had that experience with one psychic. That is not the only reason I have nothing to do with him anymore (my issues with him do definitely go beyond that as there is personal stuff as well). I do know he has lost business overtime and I would not be surprised if that played a part in it. |
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i cant explain it. totally different impression than i get from Mengele (learning that Johann was at quite a few selections with Mengele) or Eicke or any of the others. i'm looking at Johann trying to get a feel for him right now. 
I think that the more you slow down and actually contemplate on what you have already learned, I feel that you will go even further. 
I do have to agree with your assumption that chambers were not filled with exhaust fumes either as the space is simply too large & takes far too long to sufficiently fill with a lethal amount of exhaust. Did the reading specifically state that you were killed at Dachau? Could it have been one of the many sattelite camps of Dachau instead?