Post by doctorwhat on Apr 22, 2011 18:50:50 GMT -5
i'm glad to have connected with you as well, and i think we may have met, too 
i'm gonna have to look into the dates and whatnot. i'd have thought Schwarzhuber wouldve had a little more info available online. but every website i go to has the same stuff as deathcamps.org. and my local library is a small town library, so no help in the book department. he was a high-up guy in the SS, and there's next to nothing about him. frustrating.
i know what you mean about the books lol. i have to keep mine in our bedroom because when my husband's family would come over, they tried to convince him i was a Nazi (they think everyone with German ancestry/family are Nazi sympathizers). a girl i worked with when i was at Taco Bell a few years ago, her father had an entire room of Nazi and WW2 stuff. he had SS dolls, too. the one that stuck out to me was Heydrich and Mengele. he had uniforms (original and replicas), badges, medals, patches, armbands, dolls/action figures, weapons, books, documents, etc. it was real cool. only he was a Grand Dragon in the KKK. he only welcomed me into his home because i told him my great-uncle was in the SS & i was interested in the 3rd Reich.
yah, i never thought Heydrich was evil. he looks like he has some kind of sadness in him, i cant explain it. i watched like 2 hours of Heydrich videos last night to get an impression of him.
he seems like a sad guy. and when you mentioned what went on with the Navy, i can understand. like he carried that with him throughout the rest of his life
everyone i ever met (friends, coworkers, my husband included) all told me that they were afraid of me before they got to know me. that i was intimidating. i'm only 5'5" so it cant be my height. but everyone told me i scare them. my nickname in school was Medusa because people told me that when i look at them, they felt intimidated. it's not intentional by any means. maybe something carried over from Schwarzhuber. he looked like an intimidating guy even in the Ravensbruck trial video without his SS hat on. i was never bullied or picked on as a kid or teenager, or at all really. i was the one who saved people from bullies in school. the bullies were afraid of me, even tho i was never physical with them. it always baffled me why people were intimidated by me, and it still does, but maybe it has something to do with my past life. you had to be intimidating to be an effective SS, especially in the camps, i'm guessing.
i have an Australian policeman's visor (black w/ red trim) my dad got me when his ship (he was in the Navy) went to Australia, and people accused me of being a Nazi when i wore it for "hat day" in school. but i loved that hat because it was like the SS visor (the shape anyway). i still have it.
i think it's good to get the emotions out. that way it doesnt eat you from the inside. and i'm glad you found a way to pay it back. i'm still looking for a way. when i went to my new doc (who's Jewish), and he was talking about his family in the camps, i felt guilty and uncomfortable and extremely apologetic.
definitely let me know how your healing session goes. it seems like it'd be interesting. i'm curious to know if it'll help you
i didnt really get any clear feelings about Hitler and even less w/ Goering :/ Himmler, however. i could go on and on about how much i dislike the man. but the main two were Mengele and Heydrich. and the "Judezahnarzt" i think it means "Jew-dentist"? (i think that's derogatory, but that's what she wrote down what i said in the hypnosis/reading) but i dont know who it is, and havent found anything about Schwarzhuber himself, let alone him and a Jewish dentist. but that word/phrase kept popping up in the reading i had.
i think i'm taking it rather well. i've had some inkling of it since i was a kid. i had watched a show on reincarnation when i was 8 or 9, and how some things indicate a past life (like unexplained usage of a language you never learned or isnt spoken at home, better-than-usual knowledge of something, etc), and it got me thinking about it way back then. didnt know WHO i couldve been, but i knew i had to have been a Nazi just because my weird infatuation since i was 3 (in my opinion, way too young to even learn about the 3rd Reich and Nazis), the way i always felt guilty around Jewish people (and gypsies, too, weirdly. when i lived in New Jersey, there was a rather large community of Eastern European gypsies in the area, and whenever i was near them at the mall, i'd feel real uncomfortable and guilty), among other things.
when i was about 15, we lived in Georgia where my grandma was living at the time, and there was a Neo Nazi rally with the KKK in the town, and some of the Neo Nazis wore actual SS uniforms (replicas i'm sure). 1 guy had an Obersturmfuhrer uniform, and i was like drawn to him - more the uniform than the guy wearing it. it was the feeling of "i should be in that uniform" even tho i have no antisemitic or racist thoughts/feelings/etc, and abhor Neo Nazis and the KKK. i went to the rally in hopes of seeing an SS uniform, and because it was for my World History class final project, too. when i went back to my grandma's house (we lived with her at the time), i dug out my great-uncle's uniform and put it on to get it out of my system, but it just made it worse cuz i felt normal and at home in it. which made me feel even more guilty for wanting to wear that uniform so much.
i think i have a harder time w/ the Vietnam past life than i did with the SS one, and i'm not sure why. maybe because i was born closer to the end of VW (i was born in '78) than WW2? so it's more raw.
i'm gonna have to look into the dates and whatnot. i'd have thought Schwarzhuber wouldve had a little more info available online. but every website i go to has the same stuff as deathcamps.org. and my local library is a small town library, so no help in the book department. he was a high-up guy in the SS, and there's next to nothing about him. frustrating.i know what you mean about the books lol. i have to keep mine in our bedroom because when my husband's family would come over, they tried to convince him i was a Nazi (they think everyone with German ancestry/family are Nazi sympathizers). a girl i worked with when i was at Taco Bell a few years ago, her father had an entire room of Nazi and WW2 stuff. he had SS dolls, too. the one that stuck out to me was Heydrich and Mengele. he had uniforms (original and replicas), badges, medals, patches, armbands, dolls/action figures, weapons, books, documents, etc. it was real cool. only he was a Grand Dragon in the KKK. he only welcomed me into his home because i told him my great-uncle was in the SS & i was interested in the 3rd Reich.
yah, i never thought Heydrich was evil. he looks like he has some kind of sadness in him, i cant explain it. i watched like 2 hours of Heydrich videos last night to get an impression of him.
he seems like a sad guy. and when you mentioned what went on with the Navy, i can understand. like he carried that with him throughout the rest of his life
everyone i ever met (friends, coworkers, my husband included) all told me that they were afraid of me before they got to know me. that i was intimidating. i'm only 5'5" so it cant be my height. but everyone told me i scare them. my nickname in school was Medusa because people told me that when i look at them, they felt intimidated. it's not intentional by any means. maybe something carried over from Schwarzhuber. he looked like an intimidating guy even in the Ravensbruck trial video without his SS hat on. i was never bullied or picked on as a kid or teenager, or at all really. i was the one who saved people from bullies in school. the bullies were afraid of me, even tho i was never physical with them. it always baffled me why people were intimidated by me, and it still does, but maybe it has something to do with my past life. you had to be intimidating to be an effective SS, especially in the camps, i'm guessing.
i have an Australian policeman's visor (black w/ red trim) my dad got me when his ship (he was in the Navy) went to Australia, and people accused me of being a Nazi when i wore it for "hat day" in school. but i loved that hat because it was like the SS visor (the shape anyway). i still have it.
i think it's good to get the emotions out. that way it doesnt eat you from the inside. and i'm glad you found a way to pay it back. i'm still looking for a way. when i went to my new doc (who's Jewish), and he was talking about his family in the camps, i felt guilty and uncomfortable and extremely apologetic.
definitely let me know how your healing session goes. it seems like it'd be interesting. i'm curious to know if it'll help you
i didnt really get any clear feelings about Hitler and even less w/ Goering :/ Himmler, however. i could go on and on about how much i dislike the man. but the main two were Mengele and Heydrich. and the "Judezahnarzt" i think it means "Jew-dentist"? (i think that's derogatory, but that's what she wrote down what i said in the hypnosis/reading) but i dont know who it is, and havent found anything about Schwarzhuber himself, let alone him and a Jewish dentist. but that word/phrase kept popping up in the reading i had.
i think i'm taking it rather well. i've had some inkling of it since i was a kid. i had watched a show on reincarnation when i was 8 or 9, and how some things indicate a past life (like unexplained usage of a language you never learned or isnt spoken at home, better-than-usual knowledge of something, etc), and it got me thinking about it way back then. didnt know WHO i couldve been, but i knew i had to have been a Nazi just because my weird infatuation since i was 3 (in my opinion, way too young to even learn about the 3rd Reich and Nazis), the way i always felt guilty around Jewish people (and gypsies, too, weirdly. when i lived in New Jersey, there was a rather large community of Eastern European gypsies in the area, and whenever i was near them at the mall, i'd feel real uncomfortable and guilty), among other things.
when i was about 15, we lived in Georgia where my grandma was living at the time, and there was a Neo Nazi rally with the KKK in the town, and some of the Neo Nazis wore actual SS uniforms (replicas i'm sure). 1 guy had an Obersturmfuhrer uniform, and i was like drawn to him - more the uniform than the guy wearing it. it was the feeling of "i should be in that uniform" even tho i have no antisemitic or racist thoughts/feelings/etc, and abhor Neo Nazis and the KKK. i went to the rally in hopes of seeing an SS uniform, and because it was for my World History class final project, too. when i went back to my grandma's house (we lived with her at the time), i dug out my great-uncle's uniform and put it on to get it out of my system, but it just made it worse cuz i felt normal and at home in it. which made me feel even more guilty for wanting to wear that uniform so much.
i think i have a harder time w/ the Vietnam past life than i did with the SS one, and i'm not sure why. maybe because i was born closer to the end of VW (i was born in '78) than WW2? so it's more raw.
i havent seen that book. i'll have to look into getting it. it seems pretty interesting. i was just reading last night Nazi Doctors and the Psychology of Genocide. i think that's the book by Robert Lifton? and it mentions Johann w/ Mengele. apparently they knew each other at Auschwitz.
I am also making myself watch footage of the camps to keep myself in check. It is still a massive shock to me seeing them and the aftermath of the then Reich policy and decision making process. 
??