Recollections of Anna (Fiance to Hans Bothmann)

[Miss Bothmann]

Well, I guess I will start my recollections thread with how I met Hans. PLease keep in mind that a lot of my recollections come through complete with the feelings and the thoughts that were running through Anna's head during the time the event took place. So, here it is guys!

Meeting Hans During the Anschluss

I am standing on the crossroads of a very busy intersection in the middle of the city center of Vienna. The Germans are parading through the streets. The Fuhrer has kept his promise to all of the Austrians who have been loyal to him for so long. Tears stream down my cheeks as I watch the parade of banners coming down the road, and as I hear the music of victory being played. Anthems saluting the Fuhrer! I stand next to a friend who is just as excited as I am. We are both holding flowers in our hands to throw at the victors, as are many other citizens lining the street. It is a beautiful sunny day, and the feeling could not be any more magical.

God, he is beautiful. I toss my flower in front of him hoping that he will notice. He does--he picks it up, comes over to where I am standing and puts it behind my ear. After a few moments of silence (I could not believe that he had broken rank in the file, or if he was even allowed to for that matter), he tells me what cafe he will be at in the evening if I would be so inclined to meet him. Forward, I admit, but he seems like a man who knows just what he wants. He has strong ambition. He does not look at me as though I were a child . 14 is not a child anyway...he sees me as the woman that I feel myself to be and that I have been brought up to be.

I ask his name. "Later, libe". Then he smiles and begins walking back into the endless parade of men. He turns. "If you really want to know, come to the cafe." He smiles so broadly that his blue eyes twinkle. How can I not go to him? I feel as if I am in love with this strong man already. However, I tell him "we'll see." He seems to appreciate the response. As he walks away to rejoin the multitude, I keep my eyes on him for as long as I can. I hear my friend snickering next to me. I had forgotten that I was with someone else. I feel my face turn as red as the banners. "Scheise," I say to her. "Anna, such strong language." my friend says. Then she adds, "You are going, aren't you?" She sees my expression and her eyes widen. "You are! Well, if you wouldn't have,I surely would." I smile back. "I will be sure to let you know what his name is." What a great day.

Unfortunately, this was the end of the memory. I must point out that Anna and her friend were no doubt speaking in German. However (and I am very grateful for this), it seems to come through to me in 90% English. There are some recollections that I have that I can only pick up the German, so I try to look up whatever I recall in a German-English dictionary. Sometimes this is successful--sometimes it is not.

[Laurasia]

LOL! I've recalled parts of this....but with no audio. You definitely have recalled more of this than I have...for now anyways.

Sincerely,
Laurasia

[Miss Bothmann]

Well, I am glad that you remembered at all. *smile*

[mccoyxyz]

Some people just plain are fated to meet and will do so even if it seems like a long odds sort of situation.

[msmir]

Aug 4, 2010 9:31:42 GMT -5 @mccoyxyz said:

Some people just plain are fated to meet and will do so even if it seems like a long odds sort of situation.

I believe that 100%

[Miss Bothmann]

Ok, this next one is not actually a recollection per se. I believe that it is at least partially karmic debt that I had to face. Since I do tend to get the weird recollections and feelings when I am either falling asleep or waking up, I believe that this falls right in line with that. So tell me what you guys think about this.

Holocaust/Shaking Room Incident

It started as a dream in a camp where Jews were being killed. I was laughing and making nasty comments. Suddenly, the camp began to shake and tremble. At that point I half woke up--so instead of the camp, it was my room shaking. I even saw the crack appear down the wall and bits of the ceiling fall in. At my door was a Jewish man (in prisoner's garb) glaring at me with intense disdain as my room was falling in around him. Quickly I jumped up and hit the light...instantly, of course, everything was gone but I kept the side effects for awhile. Very terrifying!!

Now, Anna did not work in any of the camps, nor was she aware of the majority of the horrible things that occured in them. And in this life, I have no racial prejudices. So the only thing I can think of would that it represents some sort of karmic debt. That Anna, like millions of other German citizens didn't "know" what was going on, but as a whole they tolerated the regime..therefore, they tolerated the camps being in existence.

After this unpleasant incident, I just sat on my bed for about 1/2 hour just sitting there. I was terrified that if I turned the light off, the man would be still standing there.

[Laurasia]

I know this was one of the bad ones for you to experience, hon. Maybe he was looking for me?

Seriously though, it was more than likely meant to remind you that even though you are a very open, friendly, & considerate person to everyone that you meet in this life you weren't always so.

Sincerely,
Laurasia

[msmir]

Oh Miss Bothmann what a horrific experience. I am so sorry you had that. It is possible the inmate was looking for Laurasia but as she had said just now, it is possible that it happened to remind you of your past life. Just to maybe make sure you are staying on a good path, which I know you will. I am not sure why else that would have happened

[Miss Bothmann]

Thank you for your replies. Luckily, I have never had that happen again, so maybe it is my good karma. The funny thing about it is one of my first thoughts (while I am looking at this guy) is "What do you want with me? Hans is next door." I know that it is not funny in the literal sense, but any humor I found from that experience was a welcome relief.

[Laurasia]

"What do you want with me? Hans is next door."

LOL! I know that it's not a joking matter, but I still found that funny. Seriously though, if these sorts of things were going to start happening I would much rather that they happen to me & not you. I was the one running the camp after all. You don't need that kind of grief.

Sincerely,
Laurasia

[msmir]

You know since you acknowledge what happened, and you are taking responsibility for the past, it may be possible they may not bother you at all. I can't promise that, but it's a possibility because they may intuitively know how sorry you truly are.

[Miss Bothmann]

Hans and Anna in what I believe is rural Germany

(This recollection came while I was meditating. When I meditate solely for the purpose of relaxation, which is what I was doing in this particular case, I always envision myself in a secluded forest glen. There is a large statue of the Buddha sitting zazen in the midst of the glade, and I sit before it to center my mind. Well, anyways, I guess one never expects a recollection to come, but one came anyways.)

Looking out of the forest glen (where it is always summer or early fall), I saw tp my surprise a wintry scene. It was from the perspective of being at the top of a large hill and looking down into a valley. There was maybe a half of an inch of snow on the ground. There was a lot of open land around...extremely rural. Looking down, I saw that there was a narrow paved street running down the hill into the valley below. As I looked around, I saw houses scattered throughout, but each house had land...mostly farms by the looks of it. At the bottom of this hill, on the right, there is a village. As I was trying to place where this could possible be, I saw a car travelling down the hill towards the village. I strained to see what it was, and suddenly I was in the back seat viewing the driver and the passenger from the 3rd person point of view. I recognized the driver immediately as Hans and the passenger as Anna. The car that we were in was black, and it had a tire on the side of the car (not sure of the exact make or model). The first thing that I noticed was Hans's expression...he was furious. Also, though it was obviously cold outside, he drove with the top down and no coat. He only wore his uniform. Anna was wearing an ankle length white dress, and she had on a black (or grey) coat which looked woolen and heavy. (I take it that this was Hans's coat due to the size of it). Anna kept looking at Hans and then back to the road ahead. They did not speak. I realized that we were going to a general store in the village. The "parking area" wasn't paved, so when Hans sped to a stop, he sprayed gravel and dust all over. He got out of the car, stormed over to Anna's side of the car, yanked open the door, grabbed her roughly by the arm, and escorted her into the store. (I should note here that Hans did not grab me in a violent way, simply that he was angry and on a mission).

Suddenly, my perspective changed, and I was inside the store watching them come in. Hans stormed in while clutching Anna near the elbow. He stopped suddenly and momentarily held her still, rooted to the spot like "stay there and don't move." Then, my vision shifted to the left where the counter was. It was very long, and behind the counter were the many vials and bottles of an old pharmacy. However, this was a general store and not an apothecary. I saw the store owner. He was a middle aged man of about 50. He had gray hair, and light blue eyes behind rimmed spectacles. Suddenly, Hans began screaming at the man. (I could not hear anything though...unfortunately, the dialogue came out silent). His face was purple with rage, he was visibly shaking, his eyes were wide, and he had his finger not three inches from the frightened shopkeeper's face. I expected him to pull a gun and shoot him right there. I forced my vision to turn towards Anna. I half expected to see her upset and crying, but she only eyed Hans warily, as if wondering what he was going to do. There, the recall ended.

Now, this recollection had me so puzzled, that I purposefully tranced myself the next night to see if I could either see more of the recall or find some insight into it. Why was Hans that angry? Why did Anna react the way that she did? Suddenly, the answer came into my head, once again, in the form of Anna's recollection of it. This was basically what happened. Hans had apparently sent me to buy some things from this store which was the only one around. But I returned to Hans without the items that he needed (probably cigarettes...which Hans could not live without). Hans accompianed her back to the store to see why the shopkeeper had refused to take her money. Anna simply could not comprehend why the man refused to service her and not take her money. Clearly what happened is that the man refused to acknowledge Reich money, which was a grave offense. Now I understood why Hans had been so furious. Also, what Anna had felt when she looked at Hans was pride...what woman after all doesn't want a man defending her when she has been mistreated, right?

[Laurasia]

This is one recollection that I have not had the honor of recalling myself....as of yet. However, I have to say that does sound quite like Hans! Especially with Hans having been an SS/SD detective...he could have arrested the man right then & there, & should have according to the Reich laws. He probably had been busy when he was interrupted with this disruption & hadn't wanted to create more work for himself, so instead he was probably scaring the man & making it very clear that he would accept the Reich currency or suffer the consequences.

Sincerely,
Laurasia

[msmir]

Yep, he had to accept that money, it was the rule and anyone who went against the rules had some serious consequences to face. Interesting that you had that recollection and I can understand why it was baffling at first, but it would make sense that Hans would not let anyone get away with not following the rules.

[Miss Bothmann]

Laurasia: Maybe you found it in yourself to have some form of restraint because I was there. Hans never liked me to see that darker side of himself...usually I simply witnessed his melancholy and excessive over-indulgence in scotch and cigarettes.