Post by glpoisson on May 5, 2012 10:06:25 GMT -5
Here is the most shocking and ultimately instructive on the PLs I have uncovered which have an energetic impact on this life.
The cultivated farm lands of north western France or Belgium saw another of my incarnations beginning in the year 548. The frequency of incarnation in this area of the world is due to the comfort I have with the earth energy. This familiarity allows me to understand and easily accept my earthly location on an intuitive level and concentrate on the particular lessons I chose to learn.
Childhood produced no lasting memories either positive or negative. The image I have of my own appearance suggests that I suffered no lack of food. Portly, and for the times, positively obese, I maintained this level of abundance throughout my adult life. Now my appearance would draw no notice but then, it marked me as different and privileged in some way. My father was in service to the Bishop of (A------) and I followed him in that service. The Bishop was a selfish, uncaring, acquisitive man whose greed made him several enemies. I, and the others in his service, were his shield against those enemies. The Christian faith numbered me in its roles but had no hold nor claim on my soul nor my loyalties. Those belonged wholly to the Bishop out of fear and the fact that he provided well for loyal servants.
Prayers and God were only for Sunday. The other days the Bishop demanded loyalty to his person and quickly meted out punishment to anyone lacking or appearing to lack this quality. I served the Bishop in the capacity of peacekeeper or sheriff of the surrounding area. This gave me the right and excuse to bust heads and impose my own petty tyranny on the peasants who worked the rich farm land. From a more neutral perspective the Bishop was an evil man. To me he was a boss who allowed me some latitude so long as I kept the peace.
The others who served the Bishop in the same capacity, though in other towns or areas, often talked of deposing the Bishop and taking advantage of the full tax revenue he received. I was always too afraid of the Bishops power to progress any further than listening to these conversations. I felt that I could possibly take over, or be appointed to, the position of Bishop if I waited and demonstrated my loyalty so that his superiors recognized my worth.
As tangible evidence of my favored position I enjoyed the company of a plump woman who filled the role of friend, mate and lover. Our union was not able to be formalized due to my titular position within the church. This union satisfied the needs I had for relaxation and release. We shared a genuine affection for each other as people even though ‘officially’ she was a servant to me.
In my daily travels I came into contact with two very pious (almost holy) women who could not have been more different in temperament. The image I have of the first woman is one of a light blue and white purity and piety. Her serene indifference to the external world and real Christian faith and belief in God impressed and awed me. I held her in reverence and after my passing I became aware that the pure loving energy she radiated brought healing to the people and land in the surrounding area. Her trust in God for sustenance further increased the reverence I felt for her. This blessed being ‘melted’ back into God soon after leaving this, her third and last incarnation, giving up all separate identity.
The other woman had a far different outlook on life. She exuded a fiery, red energy of love and life. Her decidedly non-Christian beliefs and unrepentant attitude ostracized her from the Bishops flock. The peasants accepted her as a natural part of the area and trusted her knowledge of the herbs and earth energies. She drew much of her energy from the earth and was as pious and holy as the other woman in a vivaciously alive and active. She also derived much of her energy and existence from her belief in a Supreme Being. Neither of these two women were able to pass on their inner, sacred knowledge to others due to the lack of available students able to accept or understand the energy of their knowledge.
Due in part to the Bishops expected opposition of the second woman I began to treat her in a rude and contemptuous manner. As I allowed these attitudes to be fed by the Bishop and others I grew increasingly overt in my disdain and hostility. Buoyed by this and backed by the Church disapproval of her practice I found her alone one day in the fields. Upon discovering she was gathering herbs and plants for a fertility rite I determined to prove the Church dominance. I leapt from my horse and threw her to the ground and commenced to rape her. I left her lying in the field and, secure in my mission and manhood, I returned to the house.
In the days and weeks after the incident I would see her in the normal course of daily life. Her attitude had not changed nor her demeanor. Now she had reversed our positions. She had the moral right and I immediately felt the burning shame at what I had done. Nothing I tried would assuage the guilt I felt and I soon passed over. I do not remember the exact physical cause(s) but I knew that I could not live with the shame. The body I inhabited was 32 years old but it may as well have been 100 for the weight and pressure of guilt and shame I felt burdened with.
The second woman is now a towering spiritual being who has had only one other incarnation since that one (Spain c. 1400). She is an organizer of things on the astral plane and no longer has a karmic need to incarnate. She will maintain a separateness in order to assist souls in their advancement toward union with God.
The influences this life has on my current one are few but substantial. I have an almost reflexive need to avoid organizations (religious or secular). I fear the corruption inherent any organization will corrupt me as well. I also feel the need to avoid reprisal for deeds done by members of the organization which I did not condone nor even have awareness of their occurrence.
The more pervasive influence I feel generated in this past life regard sex and sexual energy. I feel intense unease and mistrust of sexual energy and even of the sexual act itself. I fear to release any sexual energy I feel due to my past abuse of this, easily generated and sustained energy. I have forgiven myself the act I performed but I have not regained the self trust not to do it again.
Oh well, I’ll add it to the fear energies I have to learn how to dissipate or just let go. I guess that is why I am still here working at the bodied life thing.
Comments or questions are welcome,
Grant
The cultivated farm lands of north western France or Belgium saw another of my incarnations beginning in the year 548. The frequency of incarnation in this area of the world is due to the comfort I have with the earth energy. This familiarity allows me to understand and easily accept my earthly location on an intuitive level and concentrate on the particular lessons I chose to learn.
Childhood produced no lasting memories either positive or negative. The image I have of my own appearance suggests that I suffered no lack of food. Portly, and for the times, positively obese, I maintained this level of abundance throughout my adult life. Now my appearance would draw no notice but then, it marked me as different and privileged in some way. My father was in service to the Bishop of (A------) and I followed him in that service. The Bishop was a selfish, uncaring, acquisitive man whose greed made him several enemies. I, and the others in his service, were his shield against those enemies. The Christian faith numbered me in its roles but had no hold nor claim on my soul nor my loyalties. Those belonged wholly to the Bishop out of fear and the fact that he provided well for loyal servants.
Prayers and God were only for Sunday. The other days the Bishop demanded loyalty to his person and quickly meted out punishment to anyone lacking or appearing to lack this quality. I served the Bishop in the capacity of peacekeeper or sheriff of the surrounding area. This gave me the right and excuse to bust heads and impose my own petty tyranny on the peasants who worked the rich farm land. From a more neutral perspective the Bishop was an evil man. To me he was a boss who allowed me some latitude so long as I kept the peace.
The others who served the Bishop in the same capacity, though in other towns or areas, often talked of deposing the Bishop and taking advantage of the full tax revenue he received. I was always too afraid of the Bishops power to progress any further than listening to these conversations. I felt that I could possibly take over, or be appointed to, the position of Bishop if I waited and demonstrated my loyalty so that his superiors recognized my worth.
As tangible evidence of my favored position I enjoyed the company of a plump woman who filled the role of friend, mate and lover. Our union was not able to be formalized due to my titular position within the church. This union satisfied the needs I had for relaxation and release. We shared a genuine affection for each other as people even though ‘officially’ she was a servant to me.
In my daily travels I came into contact with two very pious (almost holy) women who could not have been more different in temperament. The image I have of the first woman is one of a light blue and white purity and piety. Her serene indifference to the external world and real Christian faith and belief in God impressed and awed me. I held her in reverence and after my passing I became aware that the pure loving energy she radiated brought healing to the people and land in the surrounding area. Her trust in God for sustenance further increased the reverence I felt for her. This blessed being ‘melted’ back into God soon after leaving this, her third and last incarnation, giving up all separate identity.
The other woman had a far different outlook on life. She exuded a fiery, red energy of love and life. Her decidedly non-Christian beliefs and unrepentant attitude ostracized her from the Bishops flock. The peasants accepted her as a natural part of the area and trusted her knowledge of the herbs and earth energies. She drew much of her energy from the earth and was as pious and holy as the other woman in a vivaciously alive and active. She also derived much of her energy and existence from her belief in a Supreme Being. Neither of these two women were able to pass on their inner, sacred knowledge to others due to the lack of available students able to accept or understand the energy of their knowledge.
Due in part to the Bishops expected opposition of the second woman I began to treat her in a rude and contemptuous manner. As I allowed these attitudes to be fed by the Bishop and others I grew increasingly overt in my disdain and hostility. Buoyed by this and backed by the Church disapproval of her practice I found her alone one day in the fields. Upon discovering she was gathering herbs and plants for a fertility rite I determined to prove the Church dominance. I leapt from my horse and threw her to the ground and commenced to rape her. I left her lying in the field and, secure in my mission and manhood, I returned to the house.
In the days and weeks after the incident I would see her in the normal course of daily life. Her attitude had not changed nor her demeanor. Now she had reversed our positions. She had the moral right and I immediately felt the burning shame at what I had done. Nothing I tried would assuage the guilt I felt and I soon passed over. I do not remember the exact physical cause(s) but I knew that I could not live with the shame. The body I inhabited was 32 years old but it may as well have been 100 for the weight and pressure of guilt and shame I felt burdened with.
The second woman is now a towering spiritual being who has had only one other incarnation since that one (Spain c. 1400). She is an organizer of things on the astral plane and no longer has a karmic need to incarnate. She will maintain a separateness in order to assist souls in their advancement toward union with God.
The influences this life has on my current one are few but substantial. I have an almost reflexive need to avoid organizations (religious or secular). I fear the corruption inherent any organization will corrupt me as well. I also feel the need to avoid reprisal for deeds done by members of the organization which I did not condone nor even have awareness of their occurrence.
The more pervasive influence I feel generated in this past life regard sex and sexual energy. I feel intense unease and mistrust of sexual energy and even of the sexual act itself. I fear to release any sexual energy I feel due to my past abuse of this, easily generated and sustained energy. I have forgiven myself the act I performed but I have not regained the self trust not to do it again.
Oh well, I’ll add it to the fear energies I have to learn how to dissipate or just let go. I guess that is why I am still here working at the bodied life thing.
Comments or questions are welcome,
Grant